Page 63 of Camping with the Boss

Jared gives me his lawyer look. “Then maybe you should start listening.”

When we join the group outside, Ander is working on goal setting. After that, River starts them on the activity. And honestly, it’s almost as if he never left. He’s always done well at engaging the staff.

Canyon sits at the picnic table, staring at his hands. I want to comfort him. Take care of him. But he doesn’t look at me. Even when someone asks me a question and everyone else is staring at me, Canyon doesn’t move. Is he pretending I don’t exist?

River finishes debriefing the activity and turns to Canyon. “You want to take this next one, bro?”

His eyes look wary. “Are you sure?”

“You’re the one who’s been here…in the trenches.” He leads everyone into chants of “Canyon, Canyon” and then takes a spot next to Jet.

Canyon takes a deep breath and stands. His eyes are red and puffy, and his face is splotchy. But he smiles at everyone—except for me—then lifts his chin and starts. Jet asks a question and then says something to get everyone laughing, including Canyon. I’d appreciate Jet’s actions more, but I suspect he’s the one who told River about us.

During the activity, River and Jet whisper to each other like school kids. When Canyon separates everyone into groups and they’re no longer near each other, they communicate using sign language.

Canyon laughs—distracting me from my scrutiny of River and Jet—and it tugs at my heart. I know I’m staring as he talks to Sheila and Carol, but I can’t help it. He’s so strong and beautiful. He catches me watching and stumbles mid-sentence. Color blooms on his cheeks, and he moves on to the next group.

What if he never forgives me? Despair slams into me, paralyzing me for a moment. And the next thought is even worse.

What if I’ve already lost him?

Chapter Fifteen

Canyon

Thursday, June 12th, 8:30 p.m.

I try to focus on why I’m here. The retreat. But everything reminds me of this thing with Wade. The trail we walked every morning. The tree we made out behind. It doesn’t help he always seems to be right there watching me. I need time to think.

My body feels heavy. My stomach feels wrong. Off. Like all my feelings got twisted and stretched and then discarded. Shoved into a useless pile.

Ander has been wonderful. He’s there if I need him, but he also gives me space. He doesn’t try to plead his brother’s case even though I think he wants to.

My own brother has been weird. Angry one minute. Protective the next. I’m glad he’s safe, but his being here has brought nothing but pain.

It’s not his fault. I’m not sure it’s anyone’s fault. Whatever happened with Wade and that other employee was before me. And technically, it shouldn’t matter. But I thought… Wade had broken his rules because of me. Because I’m special. And I’m not. He’s broken this rule before. How many times? Is this whohe is? I don’t believe that, but I also don’t trust myself anymore. And no matter what he tells me from now on, I’ll have trouble believing him. No matter what the truth is. He lied to me. The obvious one was when he told me he was straight. But we barely knew each other then. The lie about Tim was a lie of omission.

He said he couldn’t tell me. NDA? Probably. Still, he could’ve saidsomething.

My mind goes round and round. But I always knew this was temporary. And now it’s over sooner than I expected. Wade and I live in different worlds.

Yet there is still something between us.

After dinner, we gather around the campfire. A few people grumble, but River doesn’t have to push too hard to get them to join, which shouldn’t irritate me. They’ve worked with him for years. I’m the outsider.

“Are you sure alcohol is a good idea?” Jared asks, glaring at Al and Owen.

River laughs. “We’re all adults.”

“Just don’t try to kill your coworkers,” I add, “and we should be fine.”

He starts to respond when Lydia interrupts. “Are we playing or not?” Lydia asks.

“Yes.” River smiles, and I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. “Truth or Dare.”

“No,” Jared says in a firm voice before I have a chance to object. “Absolutely not.”

“Chicken?” Ander raises a brow.

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