Page 48 of Our Stop

‘Okay, good. I love you. I say all this because I love you.’

‘Are you around this weekend? Sunday brunch?’

Emma faltered. ‘Um, I’m not sure. Can I text you?’

‘Sure,’ said Nadia. ‘But also, before you go: are you okay? How are you feeling?’

‘I’m good. I’m okay.’

‘That’s it? Just tell me what happened last weekend.’

‘Nads, I love you. I promise I’m fine.’

‘I don’t believe you. But. You know. I’ll be here when you’re ready.’

As she hung up and pulled up Deliveroo on her phone to finally order some proper food, she reasoned that Emma was, indeed, correct. Surely it would be self-sabotage to block Eddie’s number in the hope that he took the hint (and also forgot her address). That’s what she had thought about doing. She was better than that, though: if she blocked the number of a man she’d slept with with no explanation – a man who had sent her a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils! – that would make her a total cow. And the romantic karma would surely come back around to hurt her. No. She had to act according to her value system despite how awkward that felt, because that’s how she’d been raised. That’s the treatment she’d want. Kindness first.

As she ate her dinner on the couch later, she surprised herself at how, even as she mopped up cheese sauce with half a focaccia, she continued to pine for the imaginary man on the train. Anyone could have been sending those notes. She kept thinking about a man who she had never met, who she had never seen or heard speak, when an actual real-life man had been in her bed last night. Sheshouldat least be polite and text Eddie a thank you, she reasoned. It was a cute gesture, and he hadn’t done anything wrong except emphatically not being Train Guy. He couldn’t help that.

Thank you, Nadia sent to him. It bothered her that she had to use iMessage because he didn’t have WhatsApp. What an inconsequential thing to be bothered about, and true all the same, she thought. Before she could type anything else he replied,I’m doing it. I am undertaking my homework.

???she typed back.

The movie! The Nora Ephron back catalogue! That’s a very important fact about me: I follow instruction very well.He followed it with a photo of a beer held up to a TV that was, indeed, playing her favourite film. There was a familiarity to sending a photo, an intimacy. Nadia figured that having sex was about as intimate as it got, but she didn’t actually believe that. Sex was one thing, but this guy was making himself emotionally available to her. She could see a few framed photographs at the side of the TV, and using two fingers to zoom in assumed them to be of his mum and dad, and maybe a dog.

Nadia smiled to herself and sent back:I rather gathered that last night, Eddie.She was being sexually provocative to hold him at emotional arm’s length, a tried-and-tested tactic she’d used many times before.

Eddie sent back the purple devil emoji and then, frustratingly refusing to be led down the provocative path typed:This is actually really well written. Like, you think the characters are these stock characters performing to type, but just when you think the rich bookstore guy doesn’t have a heart, you realize how kind he is in spite of his family. And you think she’s all romantic and hopeful and then she says something spikey and cutting but true. Everyone surprises me, in every scene.

Nadia wrote back:Firstly, don’t be that guy.

It was Eddie’s turn to type back a string of question marks.

The guy who is surprised by a woman’s recommendation and uses the word ‘actually’ as if it is remarkable that a female recommendation of a female-led movie would be right.

Noted, Eddie typed back.I only meant I didn’t think I’d be into a rom-com, but I accept your point.

It’s so much more than a rom-com!Nadia wrote back.

THAT IS WHAT I AM SAYING WITH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!!Eddie replied.WE ARE SAYING THE SAME THING!!!!

Okay!!!!!!!!said Nadia in reply.

Jesus!!!

Nadia sat up straight from her vegetative state on the sofa. Eddie was … smart. And saying insightful things, and also not letting her be an asshole to him. Like, he was sticking up for himself whilst also telling her that he heard her. In spite of herself, Nadia was impressed.

She changed tactic.I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

I am, he said.She reminds me of you.

Who does?

Kathleen.

Meg Ryan reminds you of me?!

Yes, Eddie typed back.Maybe it’s the hair.