Page 71 of The Lucky Escape

Mum leaned across to the coffee table to put down the bowl she’d brought through, muttering something akin to,‘Oh. How nice,’ in a way that meant exactly the opposite, but Dad lifted up his glass in my direction with a cheers motion, letting me know it was no skin off his nose. Sometimes I wondered how a man so relaxed and accepting could ever survive with a woman as haughty as my mum. It couldn’t be easy for him. Mum left the room, and I went back to scrolling through the photos with Freddie.

It took ages for lunch to be ready, and as we sat at the table waiting to be served Freddie showed Patrick the petition she’d just won at school, proudly telling him about her plans to skip university because she didn’t believe in the system that made spending thirty thousand pounds on a certificate so that she could get a job to pay off thirty thousand pounds of debt seem sensible.

‘I’m going to be an entrepreneur,’ she said, proudly.

‘What kind of entrepreneur?’ Patrick asked. ‘Or is that TBD?’

She giggled at his use of an acronym she understood. ‘Totes TBD,’ she replied. ‘But I want to give more of the profits away to charity than I keep for myself.’

‘That sounds very admirable,’ Patrick said, and Mum stared at me as if it was my fault her youngest daughter wasn’t planning on becoming a surgeon. Dad opened another beer, but Patrick switched to water, which I thought was sweet. He was keeping his wits about him.

Dinner was roast chicken with all the trimmings, and I was ravenous. The weather and my cobbled-together dinners from the freezer since I’d been home meant a proper English roast was the ultimate treat, and I piled swede mash and Yorkshire puddings onto my plate eagerly, already wondering what was for pudding. I hoped it was a crumble. Mum really knew how to make a good crumble.

‘Go steady,’ she uttered under her breath as Dad fussed with pouring Patrick’s gravy. ‘Don’t overindulge.’ She nodded pointedly at my small mound of roasties and immediately I flushed in shame. Nobody else had heard. I quickly used my fork to deposit all but one back onto the serving platter. My hands shook as I took my first mouthful of broccoli and peas. I couldn’t taste any of it. Why did she always have to make me feel like I’d done something wrong? Why wasn’t I ever good enough for her?

We got all the way to dessert before Mum issued her first tut.

Dad laughed a little bit too long and a little bit too hard at one of Patrick’s jokes, and she took particular umbrage at it. It was so rude and obvious that Dad immediately stopped laughing and we all turned to stare at her. My jaw slackened as she continued to dish up the Eve’s Pudding wordlessly, and it dawned on me that she wasn’t even going to try and disguise her bad manners. Patrick looked at me for guidance on how to handle it, and I knew it was now or never: if I didn’t have it out with her straightaway, I never would.

‘What?’ I said.

She didn’t respond, only handed Freddie her bowl and then sat down to pick up her spoon.

‘I knew you weren’t happy we’d had a good time,’ I pressed. ‘What’s on your mind, Mum? Go on. You obviously want to say something.’

I’d never been so direct with her before,ever. I’d spent years biting my tongue, avoiding confrontation, assuming it was always me in the wrong, but it was making my temples ache that she couldn’t be as excited and happy for me as Dad and Freddie. Didn’t I deserve it? I wanted her to know thatI didn’t care what she thought – it was my life. I’d finally had enough of her naysaying. She could like it or lump it.

‘Honestly, Annie?’ she said, as she blew on the steam coming off her custard. ‘Taking the Mackenzies’ money and then inviting another man to go away with you. It’s crass! I’m honestly embarrassed for you. Sorry, Patrick. But I am.’

Patrick coughed lightly, and before I could register that it meant he was going to defend me he’d already started speaking.

‘I thought it was pretty cool of her actually,’ he said, simply. ‘Making lemonade out of lemons.’

Mum gave a light hoot. ‘Well, you got a holiday out of it so it’s not surprising you’d say that.’

I couldn’t believe Mum would be so openly offensive.

‘Mum!’ I cried, right as Dad said, ‘Oh for God’s sake, Judy.’

‘No, Peter,’ Mum asserted. ‘Somebody has to say something. You come here with all your hair hacked off like you’re having a midlife crisis, making eyes at a man from that terrible drama school as if you’re trying to be fourteen again. You’re a grown woman, Annie. You can’t hide behind a new boyfriend. You’re showing yourself up.’

‘That’s not fair, Judy,’ Dad said.

‘I only want what’s best for you,’ she directed at me. ‘And what’s best for your sister.’

Freddie squealed, ‘What have I got to do with this?’

Mum looked at her. ‘She’s supposed to be an example to you, Frederica.’

‘Freddie.’

‘She’s supposed to be an example to you,Freddie.’

‘But she is,’ Freddie said in a strong voice. There was a rod of steel in her spine as she said, ‘Annie is the best example of a grown-up I know. She’s kind and silly and clever andnever makes me feel like I’m alone. She’s always there for everyone she loves. And I like Patrick. You’re the only one who doesn’t.’

The table fell quiet.

‘Thanks, sis,’ I said, putting down my fork and reaching out to hold her hand.

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