Page 39 of One Night With You

I send back a photo of myself standing soldier-still next to a Beefeater.

U think me strong and sexy?it says.

She sends back the eye emoji, which is a total cop-out but has me grinning like an idiot anyway.

‘I can’t believe you’ve actually written a list of things we have to see,’ Ollie complains, as we pace the Mall down to the palace. I put my phone back in my coat pocket. ‘Can’t we just go to the pub?’

‘No,’ I say. ‘Time Outsaid it’s a romantic thing to do on a December’s evening, seeing everything lit up when it’s dark out.’

‘You’re not gonna try and shag me, are you?’ he says.

‘No,’ I reply. ‘But in lieu of an actual date, I am going to buy you a hot chocolate in a bit, and then we’ll head down towards the river.’

‘Fine,’ he says, zipping up his jacket a bit further up. ‘It’s Baltic though, innit?’

‘I know you’re enjoying this,’ I say. ‘And I also know in about a week you’re gonna text and say you’ve done exactly the same with some girl.’

‘Probs.’ He chuckles. ‘Can’t lie. I need to be on the South Bank at eight, though. Don’t forget.’

‘Ollie – when are you ever not meeting a girl?’

‘Never,’ he says. ‘You say it with admiration,’ he adds, knowing that wasn’t how I meant it at all. ‘But I don’t mind telling you it can be quite the cross to bear. So many women, so little time.’

‘And you don’t fancy picking just one?’

‘What, like at a time?’

I roll my eyes at him.

‘Well what about you?’ he says. ‘It’s all very well ticking off a list of London sights, but it’s not exactly embracing the height of humanness, is it?’

‘And humanness in your book is shagging, is it?’

‘It’s the most basic of urges.’

‘You’re a caveman.’

‘A caveman with a high libido.’

‘Hmm.’

We get to the palace and see the flag flying.

‘They’re in, then,’ I say, nodding towards it.

‘Archaic institution,’ Ollie says, shaking his head. ‘Vive la révolution, that’s what I say.’

‘I think it’s nice,’ I counter. ‘The royal family is an English tradition. Plus, they make us a mint in tourism.’

‘Cost us a mint, too,’ Ollie says, holding up his phone to snap a photo of me before I even have to ask. I don’t know what I’m going to do with all these photos, but they’re nice to have.

‘All I’m saying is—’ Ollie starts.

‘I know what you’re saying!’ I interrupt him because he’s already given me shit about holding out for Ruby, and it’s boring me now. I already know what he thinks. ‘Date! I get it!’

‘But you’re not dating, because of this sofa girl you think you’ve fallen in love with.’

He doesn’t say it as a question.

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