Page 81 of One Night With You

‘You’re seeing somebody who wants to keep seeing you after the baby is born?’

‘I know it’s odd,’ she says, with a lopsided smile. ‘It’s Sandeep, from work? You met him at a few parties? We’ve just always got on, and he was so kind to me after you left, and then I knew pretty early that I must be pregnant because I take my temperature every morning, don’t I, so I knew something was different because of that.’

‘Sandeep from work knew about this before I did?’ I ask. ‘And he wants to stay with you after the baby comes?’

A wave of envy washes over me. Ruby wouldn’t stay because of the baby, but Millie gets a new boyfriend out of it all? It’s not a fair thought, but it’s the one that I have.

‘Like I said – it’s all very odd. But yes, essentially. He’s been amazing, and it’s not like I’ve only just met him. We’ve known each other so long that when it got romantic it didn’t feel rushed or too soon or anything. It just felt normal, really.’

‘Right,’ I say. I don’t know how else to respond.

‘I was thinking that he could come over one day, when you’re here, so you could get to know him. He’s going to be a part of the baby’s life. We both want it.’

‘As a dad?’ I ask, and it’s a question that sneaks out before I can stop myself.

She shrugs, but not dismissively. Kindly. I know her well enough that I get that she’s trying to soften the blow. There’s no reason she shouldn’t get everything she wants. I just wish I could too.

‘He’s asked me to marry him and I’ve said yes. You’re off the hook, you know – if you want to be,’ she declares. ‘There’s absolutely no obligation. I’m fine. This is less than ideal for you. I’m not trying to trap you. I’m not expecting anything from you.’

I want to tell her that she can expect everything from me, but I don’t. I wipe my hands on a piece of kitchen towel and nod, absorbing what she’s saying. Finally, I settle on the only absolute truth I can say with conviction.

‘I’d like to meet Sandeep too,’ I say. Then I add: ‘Let’s take it from there.’

‘But you’ve only been in London ten minutes,’ my mother says to me as she clears away my plate. She’s fed me a full English and a cup of tea in a giantSports Directmug. I don’t think she’s made me a fry-up since I was a teenager, but today, because I’ve said I’ve got news, she’s pulled out all the stops.

I pick up my cuppa and take a big gulp now it’s at the right temperature. It buys me some time, too. I’ve not exactly been looking forward to this.

‘Well,’ I start. ‘As it happens. I’ve got a bit of an unexpected responsibility.’

My mum looks at my stepdad pointedly and when I clock it says plainly, ‘Is this about Millie and the baby?’

I furrow my brow. ‘You know about the baby?’

‘Saw her in Asda,’ Mum says. ‘You can’t tell from the front, but when she walked away her walk was different.’

‘And she told you …?’ I falter. ‘You understand that I’m the father?’

‘Mother’s intuition.’

‘Right,’ I say. I assumed I’d get fireworks. An argument. A big old telling-off. Everybody seems remarkably calm. I say so, out loud.

My mother shrugs, my dirty plate still in hand. ‘Nobody can be mad about a baby, can they?’ she says, plainly.

I don’t mean for it to come out, but it does: ‘I was pretty mad when I found out.’ When Steve and Mum look at me like I’m the devil I clarify: ‘It was the shock. It’s not exactly the perfect family set-up, is it?’

‘Let me get rid of this,’ Mum says, nodding at the scraps of my food. I wait for Steve to say something in her absence but I get nothing. He raised me – he isn’tStepdad, he’s justDad,really – but he’ll often await Mum’s nod that he’s okayto express an opinion to us. Like me and Ollie are her boys first, but we get to be his by a close second. I wonder if all mothers are like that with their children. I’ve got nothing else to compare it to. I don’t know my biological dad, nor his second family.

‘So you reckon you’ll move back, do you?’ Mum says, as she pops down a plate of digestives arranged in a circle on a doily-topped plate.

‘I mean,’ I say, ‘Millie is having my baby. I sort of have to, don’t I?’

Mum narrows her eyes. ‘And this other fella – this Sandeep. You don’t think he might get in the way of you playing happy families?’

‘Are you saying Ishouldn’tget involved with raising my own child?’ I ask in a measured tone. ‘You’re going to be grandparents. I thought you’d be thrilled!’

Mum exchanges a look with Steve, issuing silent permission for him to speak. ‘Nobody would blame you if you didn’t,’ he says. ‘In theory, of course you should move back and be in your child’s life. But from what your mum heard from Sally-Anne—’

‘Who sees Jeanette every Sunday evening for darts,’ Mum interrupts, referring to Millie’s mum.

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