Page 93 of One Night With You

I ask them where they’re going.

‘We’re going to find a two-bed somewhere, a flat maybe, closer to central. Somewhere where we can have a proper dining table.’

‘Thatisgrown up,’ I marvel.

‘It’s time,’ says Candice. ‘We’re ready for the change, aren’t we?’

‘We are,’ says Jackson. ‘And now we’ve covered that off the “to discuss” list, can we go back to you and Nic? What are you going to do, darling? I can barely bear the tension between you! Just get back together already!’

‘I don’t know …’ I start. ‘It’s not what I want. I’m really sure of it …’

‘I wouldn’t date a man with a kid,’ says Candice. ‘At least, I don’t think I would. Can you honestly say that you would, Jackson? It’s a lot to take on.’

Jackson shrugs, then seems to remember that the shrugging causes him pain and winces as he readjusts himself into a more comfortable position.

‘Depends on the person,’ Jackson insists.

‘It’ll end in tears,’ Candice says.

‘And so what, it’s not worth the risk?’ Jackson counters.

‘Jesus, I thought they said your head was okay? Nurse! Doctor! Jackson has a head injury!’

‘Ha, ha,’ says Jackson. ‘How long is that going to be a running joke please? Because I’m bored of it already.’

‘Look,’ I tell them. ‘I’m getting the train back tomorrow and then I just don’t know. I thought it would be too painful to see him as a friend, but he’s been amazing with all this. It hurts we can’t be together, but I just think I need to becareful. I can love him, and not be with him. I know that seems controversial but it’s possible.’

‘Like Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston at the end ofThe Bodyguard,’ Jackson offers.

‘Exactly that,’ I say.

‘Didn’t he drive to Manchester to come get you when Jackson had the accident?’ Candice says.

‘Haven’t you been sharing a bed?’ Jackson says.

‘Don’t you panic when he’s not nearby, and jerk your head up all fast and crazy until you locate him again?’ asks Candice.

I hold up my hands, laughing. ‘Okay,’ I say. ‘I mean this with all the love in the world but both of you need to piss right off, okay? Just piss off.’

‘Which bit do you think hit a nerve?’ Jackson stage-whispers to Candice, whilst maintaining eye contact with me.

‘I don’t think it was anything we said,’ Candice stage-whispers back. ‘I think she just misses herboyfriend,’ she adds, using the word with all the force she knows it will elicit from me. I give them the middle finger.

When Candice and I have to leave for Jackson to get taken to the loo, she holds my arm and says: ‘Can we have that chat now?’

I look at her. ‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘Shall we get coffee? There’s a Costa downstairs.’

We get our drinks – Candice pays – and we shuffle about getting comfortable with chairs and coats and finding somewhere for our bags.

‘Okay look …’ Candice begins, when it’s apparent we’re all sorted and there’s nothing else to do but address each other. ‘I just wanted to say—’

‘You know you don’t have to, don’t you?’

‘Don’t interrupt, okay?’

I make a zipping motion across my lips and mime throwing away the key.

‘You didn’t deserve me ghosting you. That wasn’t cool. I know it wasn’t. I just … I don’t know. I missed you, and I felt like you didn’t miss me, and I felt stupid for that. And then at the party with Nic I got jealous, which I’m not proud to admit but I did. I couldn’t understand why you’d have time for him, but not time for me. So I punished you. But maybe really I was punishing myself?’

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