Page 26 of Enemies to Lovers

‘Come on,’ he says, when he hears it. ‘Time for breakfast.’

We arrive back at the villa, but before we go in Jamie pauses, hand on the doorknob.

‘For the record,’ he says, his face creased in thought and reflection, ‘I do have problems, you know.’

I go to speak, but he continues before I can say that I’m sure he does.

‘I have a nice life, yeah. But I am alone. No parents. No siblings. No significant other. And I’ve got to be honest, Flo, it fucking sucks.’

What would I have done without my family these past few years? They kept me afloat. I try to read Jamie’s face, everything that is going through his mind. Is he really saying he’s lonely? If he is, why push people away?

‘I think that’s the most vulnerable thing you’ve ever said to me,’ I say, deliberately not adding that obviously it’s one of the few things he’s recently said to me directly, full stop.

‘You seem intent on being surprised that I have feelings,’ he replies. ‘And I can’t understand why.’

He’s got me there. Mostly because I’ve never seen these feelings. And when I have come close, he’s pulled away so fast I’ve been left with whiplash. I don’t see how Jamie can accusemeof being the bad guy here …

A bunch of images crash into one another in my mind: jigsaws and cold buffets and drinks by the fire at Christmas. Lingering looks and fizzing excitement, and tears that came from nowhere. A beginning. An unspoken promise.

I take a breath, ready to ask him why, then, hewouldpush me away?

The front door flings open.

We both turn to see who has interrupted us, confronted by Mum, car keys in hand.

‘Oh, hello! Become jogging buddies, have you? That’s exciting.’ She looks between us, and we must look like we’ve been caught doing something we shouldn’t have, because she adds, ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m doing the bakery run. Any requests?’

‘Not for me,’ says Jamie. ‘I eat what I’m given.’

‘Flo?’ asks Mum.

‘Anything with chocolate in it,’ I reply. ‘Do you need help?’ I’m obviously hoping she’ll say no, but Mum bursts into a massive smile. She loves it when I offer to spend time with her – and it seems she isn’t capable of reading the emptiness in my offer.

‘I do like the company,’ she grins. ‘If you don’t mind showering afterwards? I don’t want to hang around, you see. The good stuff goes.’

I turn to Jamie. ‘You get first dibs on the bathroom then, it looks like.’

‘Lucky me,’ he replies. Andgoddammit– the look he gives me. All narrowed eyes and blank stare. I think he’s relieved we were interrupted. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out what he wants from me. What Jamie needs. So, what: he’s going to tell me his deepest, darkest secrets, but then also thank the heavens when our chat is over? I don’t get it!

‘See you later,’ I say, sounding petulant. I follow Mum to the hire car.

‘Yeah,’ he replies. ‘And thanks for the chat.’

I look at him. He smiles.

When we get in the car Mum asks, ‘What chat, darling?’

I’m too busy looking at Jamie through the window. He’s not gone in yet; he’s standing on the front step with his hands in his pockets and his face impassive, eyes trained on me as I do up my seatbelt. I thought he couldn’t wait to get inside, and now he’s loitering.

‘Hmmm?’ I ask.

‘Jamie thanked you for the chat. I just wondered what you were chatting about, is all. Unless it’s private.’

‘We didn’t really chat about anything,’ I tell her, as we reverse out of the drive. I lift a hand, still unsmiling. Jamie lifts his hand in return.

‘Well,’ Mum says, putting the car into first gear, ‘I’m glad to see you getting along. He’s more sensitive than you think, Jamie. God bless his heart.’

He falls out of view.

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