Page 53 of Enemies to Lovers

I blink.

‘No, I don’t,’ I reply, and it comes out louder than I mean it to, because it’s true: I don’t. Not intellectually. My body hints that it might know something, but my brain understands the facts as clear as day: Jamie is a womaniser. I almost let him in, and he blew it. He doesn’t think I’m worth it. We’re not meant to be.

He sighs. ‘Not now,’ he says. ‘Come on. Let’s get home, yeah?’

I nod.Okay.

I don’t realise I’m holding on to his arm like a chaste Victorian aunt taking the air in the park until we’re almost home, and when I do, I immediately feel super-weird about it. I let go.

‘Sorry,’ I mumble. ‘I didn’t even know I was doing that.’

‘No worries,’ Jamie says. ‘I don’t mind.’

I slip my arm back through his without saying anything. I feel calmer now. What just happened was horrible, and Adonis is an ass, but I’m away from it and all right, and holding on to Jamie makes me feel safe.Jamiemakes me feel safe, like he looks out for me. Like he’ll always look out for me …

‘Nightcap?’ he asks, when we’re back. ‘For your nerves? You don’t have to. It’s only an idea.’

The house is dark, everyone already in bed. I’ve got no idea what time it is.

‘Anything wet and in a glass,’ I reply, and Jamie smiles.

‘Careful,’ he warns. ‘You almost said that with a grin.’

It’s my turn to sigh now, and I pull up a chair at the lamp-lit table.

‘I don’t want you to think badly of me,’ I say. ‘For … I don’t know. Thinking Adonis was an okay dude in the first place? I feel like you knew he wasn’t …’

‘Don’t do that,’ Jamie says, pouring a couple of glasses of wine and handing me one. ‘Don’t blame yourself, or think anybody else had some big insight into where it would all lead. Your own mother encouraged it, remember? And it’s no more her fault than yours or mine, or the moon’s. This is all on Adonis, and he’s lucky I didn’t pummel him. But it was way more important to come and check on you than stay behind and give him a piece of my mind. I mean, I assume I don’t have to warn you about second chances or anything like that?’

I screw up my face. ‘You do not,’ I say. ‘Most people deserve a second chance, but not Adonis – not for this. In fact I’ll block and delete his number right now.’

I half expect to see an apology text from him as I pick up my phone, but of course I don’t. There’s just a text from Dad saying he and Mum are going to bed and he’ll see me in the morning.

‘All done,’ I say, putting my phone back on the table. ‘God,’ I go on. ‘All I wanted was a bit of holiday fun – to be less like myself for a week or two, you know? And look where it got me.’

Jamie reaches out a hand to mine.

‘Stop it,’ he says. ‘There are men lining up to help you have a fun time, don’t you worry about that.’

I look down pointedly. He doesn’t move. When I dare to look back up, Jamie’s eyes are all crinkled and soft, his lips gently parted, his body still.

‘Jamie,’ I say quietly. ‘Where did it all go wrong for us?’

He blinks slowly and chews his bottom lip. I swear he’s leaning forward, like he could kiss me himself. It makes me lean in his direction, too, the gap between us closing.

‘I don’t know,’ he says. ‘I really don’t know.’

I try to search for answers in his face. His handsome, beautiful, melancholy face.

‘Bed,’ he says, with finality. ‘Come on.’

I don’t argue.

I lie in the dark, staring at the ceiling. Jamie hasn’t moved in the bed across from me, but he’s not breathing heavily, like a man who is asleep.

His voice cuts through the darkness. ‘Are you okay?’

I turn over. ‘I knew you were still awake!’ I whisper. ‘Areyouokay?’

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