Page 63 of Enemies to Lovers

‘My best friend. Met her outside the therapist’s office, so for a while she was actually in my phone as Despair.’

‘That’s funny.’

‘So’s your face.’

‘Ha ha.’

Jamie groans, putting his head into his hands.

‘I can’t believe we almost …’ he says. ‘God, Flo. I really do want you to know that you arehot.Like, it’s hard to concentrate around you –hot.’

‘Shut up,’ I squeal, getting self-conscious. ‘You’re teasing me.’

‘I am one hundred per cent not,’ he insists. ‘Your face, your laugh, those absolutely incredible tits …’

I smack his arm. ‘All right, smooth talker. That’s enough of that. Let’s take this boat back to the marina and get home. If I can’t fix my needs with you here, maybe there’s a deckhand who can help me out up on the shore.’

Jamie laughs.

‘Don’t let me stand in your way,’ he says. ‘Away we go …’

15

Jamie and I don’t talk much as we sail back to the marina, but when we dock and walk to find a cab we stay close to one another in a way that feels … intimate. We forged a new understanding of each other out there on the water. I feel for him. I don’t know if that’s wasted sympathy or makes me a mug, but the crying, the way he’s prioritising being part of my family instead of having his way with me? I respect that. So much makes sense now. Jamie’s showing obvious gratitude that I’m not flying off the handle or anything. I suppose he’s mugged me off twice now – if I wanted to tell him to shove it, I’d be well within my rights. But this past week or so has definitely illuminated how keeping afroideurbetween us hurts more than it helps. Life is short, and I enjoy family time far too much to let Jamie get in the way. So,c’est la vie. Holiday Flo isn’t going to hold a grudge, and hopefully Ordinary Flo won’t, either. I can move on. Ican. We’re better as friends, and shagging would ruin that. I get it. I mean, I wish he’d explained it better back at Christmas, but better late than never.

I smile at him as we wait at the taxi rank, aware of the nearness of him. Jamie smiles back. See? We can be friendly! Somehow his fingers end up curled around mine, and that’s how the cab driver finds us: fixed to the spot, holding hands but not holding hands, wanting to be near to each other, but knowing this is the exact kind of nearness we’ve agreed not to actually entertain. I don’t hold hands with my brothers when I’m waiting for taxis, after all. When we look at each other this time, the smile is more of a regretful grimace.

In the cab Jamie gives directions to the driver in Greek, and we both sit close enough to the middle of the back seat that our bare thighs touch. I look out of my window and he looks out of his, and the ride is a rocky one. So much so that it’s easier to cushion my body into his, pressing against Jamie to steady myself, than it is to resist. Jamie loops an arm over my shoulder to hold on. To the driver, we undoubtedly look like a couple.

‘Well,’ Jamie says, once we’re home. He doesn’t finish his sentence. The taxi drives off and we watch it, and then I open up my arms to welcome a hug.

‘Thanks for a lovely day,’ I say. ‘Even though it panned out differently to how I thought it might.’

Jamie steps towards me and receives the hug, and I rest against his rock-hard form. He gives good hugs. I briefly close my eyes and inhale the manly scent of him, exhaling deeply, too. Jamie cradles the back of my head, lightly caressing my hair.

‘You give great cuddles,’ he says.

‘You do too,’ I say back.

We stay like that for a while.

Later we go out for dinner, to a lovely place Mum found a review of online, and even though I try to navigate away from Jamie as we choose seats at the table, something happens where Mum moves me to her right, so she can sit near Dad, and then Kate goes to the toilet and, bam, Jamie and I are side-by-side. I smile at him, feeling oddly nervous. There’s nothing to hide from our day together, but it feels as though we have a secret.

‘And so I said to him, “No, I don’t want two for twenty euros,”’ Kate is saying. ‘“Give me four for fifty euros!”’ She’s regaling us with what happened at yet another market today.

‘And the guy,’ adds Laurie, already laughing at the recollection of Kate’s negligible haggling skills, ‘is so obviously confused at this crazy English lady bartering himup…’

Kate shakes her head good-naturedly.

‘I just couldn’t get it right in my brain that two for twenty should have been four for forty,’ she’s saying. ‘I thought I’d managed to get money off, not add money!’

I can see the rise and fall of Jamie’s chest in my peripheral vision. His arm is between us on the table, fiddling with a water glass. I can’t even look at his fingers for too long as they trail along the rim – it’s making me blush. But why?Nothing has happened. We’ve had one almost-kiss and agreed to drop it.

‘I’ve honestly never known her like this,’ Laurie chuckles. He’s got tears in his eyes, he finds it so funny. ‘Kate, you’re so smart and switched on, and this baby … it’s already sent your head gaga!’

‘I know,’ Kate winces, taking a swig of water. ‘I can’t believe it’s going to be this way untilnext year. It’s inhumane, really, to make pregnancy go on so long.’

‘Could be worse,’ Alex points out. ‘You could be an elephant. That’s nearly two years of baby-brain right there.’

---