Page 76 of Enemies to Lovers

Jamie narrows his eyes. ‘I could ask you the same thing,’ he replies coolly.

I don’t understand what he means. He was the one who ledmeon; he led me down the garden path and then changed his mind.

‘Urm …’ I say, remembering how terrible I am at confrontation. I wish I could take back the last ten minutes. Neither of us speaks. This has all gone horribly wrong. We look at the floor, the walls, the ceiling – anything but at each other. Anger brews.

And then Jamie is furious: red-faced and manic eyes, his voice raised.

‘Do you know what, Flo? I don’t know in what world you think I wronged you last Christmas, but it’s all adding up to me now. You just do what you want, don’t you? You think because you had your breakdown, you’re the only one who can hurt, and you hide behind it. You do whatever you goddamn choose: you lead people on, dump them when it suits, treat them coldly and horribly and make them feelunwelcome… Did you decide you’d use me to pass the time again,because we’re on holiday and it didn’t work out with Adonis?’

He saysAdonislike he’s spitting it out, like it pains him.

I shake my head. ‘You’ve got this wrong,’ I say. ‘This is all backwards.’

‘No,’ he says, pulling on his shorts and grabbing his T-shirt. ‘I’ve got this exactly right. I see this for what it is now, crystal-clear. I’ve been a grade-A idiot.’

‘Please don’t go,’ I say as he walks to the door. ‘None of this makes any sense …’

‘Hard-agree,’ Jamie replies. ‘I don’t know how you dare accuse me of shitting on your heart, when if you ask me it’s quite the opposite.’

And then he is gone, and I am lying naked under my blanket, looking at the barn wall, wondering what the hell just happened.

18

I sit on the beach, on my own, in the dark. It’s not nearly as romantic out here by myself. I’m dressed, but have schlepped the blanket from the barn down here, for extra warmth. It’s actually quite cold at this hour. When I was here with Jamie, I didn’t notice. Without him, it’s freezing.

There’s a gentle sway to the ocean under the moonlight. I’m biding my time. I assume Jamie stalked off to our shared bedroom, and I can’t face going up there. I’ve been replaying our argument over and over again in my mind, trying to pinpoint the moment it went wrong. All I can conclude is that he’s mad this is purely physical, but that’s what we agreed. Not out loud maybe, but … this is Jamie Kramer. Even if he did commitment – which he doesn’t – I live in Scotland, and he lives on the sea. It would never work. I feel kind of insane, not being able to understand. I think I’m probably better off out of it; that it’s better it’s over now. I wonder if we’ll go back to being enemies. That would be such a shame when we’ve been getting on so well. And god, the sex! I’ve never known sex like it.

I’ve not been with many men. I didn’t lose myvirginity until university, in Freshers’ Week, and it had been terribly disappointing. In my second year I let a bloke in my Gothic Literature class finger me twice, but again: not great. There was a guy during my Master’s, but after the breakdown nobody would come near me, take all that on – it was hard enough to keep friends, let alone think about boyfriends. And then last Christmas it was such a surprise to discover something between Jamie and me … But I know our lives are just so different.

I drag myself up the steps to the villa, deciding on the way there that I’ll take the sofa tonight, to give Jamie some space. I can’t lie awake watching him sleep. I’m almost at the top when I realise I can smell smoke, and immediately panic that something is wrong with the house – that somebody left the stove on or something. As I approach, it feels warmer, and for a split second I think,Should I even go in there?But then obviously I should, because my family needs to get out if there’s a problem. Which there obviously is, because itstinksof smoke, except it isn’t coming from the villa – it’s coming from behind it.

I slip round the side of the villa and see the outhouse, where Jamie and I were not an hour ago. It’s up in flames, with thick, angry fire licking at the roof.

‘No,’ I mutter, panicked, trying to understand what I’m seeing. ‘No, no, no …’

Jamie wouldn’t have gone back there, would he? He can’t be in there?

‘Fire!’ I shout, but it comes out like a squeak. I’m closer to the front of the house than the back, so I bang a flat palm against the front door, over and over again. I hit so hard and fast that my hand begins to sting. When nobody comes, I bolt round to the back, because I know for sure it’s open. I need help.

As I rush through the kitchen I see that Jamie is on the sofa in the living room, so I dash in there and shake him awake. I don’t have time to think about him being mad at me, and what has happened – that’s beside the point. He needs to wake up, and fast.

‘Jamie,’ I say loudly. ‘Jamie! There’s a fire!’

His eyes open, startled, and for a beat we look directly at each other and don’t speak. Those big grey eyes, framed by eyelashes longer than any human deserves … I’m struck, all over again, by how much he can convey with so little expression.

And then I remember why I’m here.

‘Get up,’ I say, shaking myself of any other thoughts. I’m already backing away to go and wake everyone upstairs. ‘There’s a fire at the outhouse. We have to do something!’

I take the stairs two at a time, banging on everyone’s door, one after the other, before circling back to Laurie and Kate’s room, where Laurie is up now, in his boxers, asking me what the hell is going on. It’s only when I see Kate sitting up in bed behind him, absent-mindedly rubbing her tummy, that I remember she’s pregnant. She should head down to the beach, out of the way ofthe smoke. She can’t stay here and she certainly can’t go up there, towards the danger.

‘There’s a fire outside, at the old barn opposite. It’s huge. But, Kate – the smoke … don’t risk it, okay? Laurie, we have to do something.’

I don’t hear what he says, because now Mum is up, standing at her door listening to what I’m saying.

‘Michael,’ she says to my dad, ‘there’s a fire. Where’s your mobile?’

There’s no sign of movement from Alex’s room, which we both register at the same time.

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