Page 87 of Enemies to Lovers

‘You can shut up,’ I say. ‘You could have told me what he’d done.’

‘I understand, now, that I shouldn’t have interfered,’ Laurie says. He looks sheepishly at Kate, who shakes her head at him and rolls her eyes, her way of saying he’s an idiot and she forgives him and that they’ll talk about it later.

‘Do we know where Jamie is?’ I ask. ‘I need to go and find him. Laurie?’

‘When we were at the house this morning, he disappeared. Now he knows we’re out for the afternoon, mymoney is that he’s packing. I don’t know. He could even have left already.’

I stand up and it’s only when I’m on my feet that my confidence wavers.

‘Go,’ says Kate. ‘Go get your guy.’

I nod.

And then I run.

22

I speed out of the restaurant and onto the main road that connects the harbour to the town further up. The villa is about twenty minutes on foot from here and I could wait for the bus, but I have no idea when it comes, where it picks up from, where it stops. I simply followed Kate this morning. The only thing I know how to do is run. I’m in cotton shorts and sneakers, so at least my feet are properly supported. I make a break for it, pacing down the side of the road, arms at right-angles, feet one in front of the other, focused on the path ahead. It’s only when I get to the town and think I should buy a bottle of water that I realise I don’t have my bag. I’ve left it at the restaurant. It’s hot, being the middle of the day, and I had that wine, but I’ve got no choice: I push on ahead.

I feel like I’m in a movie, but by the time I get to the villa I’m so hot and sweaty and out of breath that I’m obviously no leading lady. I go round the back, hoping to find it open, and I do. That must mean he’s here.

‘Jamie?’ I call out, not caring how desperate I sound. ‘Jamie!’ I yell again, louder. My voice is hoarseand, as eager as I am to see him, I also need a drink, immediately.

I head straight to the sink and stick my head under the tap, drinking right from it. I let it spill onto my face, cooling me down. When I’m done, I stand in the shade of the room and catch up with myself.

‘Jamie?’ I shout, one more time.

Nothing.

He’s not in the living room, not outside by the pool or on the veranda. I run up the stairs to the first floor and shout up to the eaves. Still nothing. In case he’s ignoring me, I go up and pop my head round our bedroom door. His bags are there, a backpack and a smaller rucksack, full of his stuff and ready to go. That’s not encouraging – he really is leaving – but he hasn’t left yet. Good. I head back downstairs and out of the back door, to the only other place he could possibly be.

I stand at the bottom of the stairs that lead down to the beach and watch Jamie. Marvel at him, really. He’s standing at the water’s edge, throwing stones into the sea. He’s wearing his ratty white vest, the one that shows his nipples, and a pair of baggy surfboarder shorts. He’s beautiful. Not handsome – beautiful. Tall and broad and strong and manly, but he moves elegantly, softly. There’s a grace to the way he bends to pick up a stone, brings back his thick masculine arm, the flex of the muscles in his shoulders as he pings it back and flings it towardsthe water. He does it, over and over again, until he stops suddenly, like he can sense me. Without turning round he yells, ‘It’s rude to stare.’

I take that as an olive branch, a signal that it’s okay for me to approach. I pad down across the sand and stand beside him.

‘How could you tell I was there?’ I say.

He doesn’t look at me, just tips his head and replies, ‘I always know where you are.’ Jamie picks up another pebble and lobs it at the ocean. ‘I hate it,’ he says. I don’t know what he means. ‘I hate always knowing where you are, but I do.’Ah. ‘It makes me feel pathetic and needy. I don’t want to be this aware of you. I don’t want to be this in …aweof you. But it won’t go away.’

‘Jamie …’ I say. He still isn’t looking at me. I reach out a hand to his, but he pulls away, like my touch causes him physical pain.

‘It won’t go away,’ he repeats. ‘And it hasn’t gone away since the day I first met you. I remember it so clearly, out on your back lawn. You were still at school. Sixteen or seventeen?’

‘Eighteen,’ I say.

‘Well, at twenty-three I was too old for you. Not that my age mattered. You were always out of reach, never interested.’

I watch him as he speaks, all of this pouring out of him towards the horizon like it’s a relief finally to be able to say it.

‘Will you sit with me?’ I ask. ‘Can we sit and talk?’

I gesture to the sand and Jamie nods, lowering himself to the ground and burying his toes. It’s not as hot down here – the sea breeze keeps it cool, the promises of secrets safe in the wind. I flop down next to him, hugging my knees to my chest.

‘I’ve always thoughtyouthought I was just Laurie’s annoying little sister. I didn’t know he’d warned you to stay away …’

‘Yes, he did,’ Jamie says slowly, chewing over the fact like a Brussels sprout he doesn’t want, but feels he should have, for balance.

‘He’s got a black eye, you know.’

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