Page 28 of Love at First Sight

‘She’s expecting me,’ he says. ‘Can I come in and wait?’

‘You want to come in and wait for Ali so that … you can break up with her?’ I clarify. ‘Okay.’

I step back and let him in, suddenly very aware that I’m in a skimpy dressing gown and only half made-up.

‘I’m in the middle of something,’ I say. ‘But you can make yourself at home.’ I scurry back upstairs, leaving him to it.

I keep half an ear out for the door, hoping that Ali comes back before I have to go back downstairs. I finish my hair, my make-up, and slip on my dress. I don’t look half bad. I might not be thrilled about the occasion, but at the end of the day I love my dad, and ultimately want someone to make him happy. I wish that Simone didn’t do that, but if she’s going to … I suppose I’m just going to have to roll with it, like so much of life these days.

‘Jessie!’

Henry’s call comes from downstairs.

‘Can you help me?’

I grab my bag and head towards his voice, which I discover is coming from the downstairs loo.

‘You okay?’ I ask.

‘I just need some help,’ Henry says, and he doesn’t have to explain the rest: he’s done the sort of poo he needs help wiping. I know the code. I’m mindful of my dress and do what I can to clean him up. Kids: the ultimate reality check.

When we’re done and I’ve washed my hands twice, I walk through to the kitchen, where Cal is sat behind a row of mini Marvel characters, mid-battle. He’s been playing with Henry, even though if he breaks up with Ali today he’ll never even see him again. Which is sweet, I guess.

‘I’m just washing my hands!’ Henry yells from the bathroom. ‘Don’t play without me!’

Henry has been trained by both Ali and me to wash his hands like he’s preparing for surgery, which leaves Cal and me alone. He looks up, jaw slackening and eyes widening.

‘You look incredible,’ he says, softly, and I hate that I blush.

I manage to squeak out a thank you.

‘I’m going to go and get Groot!’ Henry shouts, thundering up the stairs.

‘Okay, pal!’ Cal yells, meeting my eye and smiling. I half smile back, not willing to commit to anything more meaningful. This is so messy.

‘I meant what I said,’ Cal presses. ‘That day we met,Jessie … I didn’t mean to mislead anyone. I never went to buy fucking quinoa expecting that I’d meet somebody. That I’d meet you …’

I look at my painted toes in their strappy sandals, because it’s too much to look at his earnest face. I’ll start forgiving him if I’m not careful.

‘I brought you this,’ he says, pushing a folded document across the breakfast bar towards me.

I pick it up and unfold it. In big type at the top it saysHackney Community Support Fundand on the following pages it has questions about everything from my personal details to the business idea.

‘For Stray Kids,’ he explains.

My heart pumps so fast I fear it might give out. He can’t talk about Stray Kids here. Ali doesn’t know. I haven’t figured out how to frame it for her yet. That’s half the reason I’ve not done more about getting it started.

‘Please don’t tell Ali about this,’ I say, finding my nannying rucksack and stuffing the form inside. Cal looks confused. ‘She wouldn’t like it,’ I explain. ‘She’d call me disloyal, and this job is everything to me, all right?’

Cal nods. ‘All right,’ he says. He holds up his palms, surrendering. ‘Sorry. I just wanted to help.’

‘I know.’

I can tell Cal has follow-up questions from the way his eyes dart up to look at the ceiling and he sticks out his tongue, just slightly, at the side of his mouth.

‘What?’ I ask.

‘Well, it’s just …’ he starts, uncertainly. ‘How couldanyone resent you for wanting to contribute to the community and set something up that is clearly so beneficial to children?’ It makes me roll my eyes – has he not met the Ali I work for? But then, actually, he probably hasn’t. I’m sure, as a date, Ali is charming and coy and fun. So it’s unlikely to ever occur to Cal that as an employer she can be bossy and possessive.

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