Page 32 of Love at First Sight

I smile at Leo gratefully. ‘Fuck,’ I say. ‘I didn’t know I needed to hear that. Thank you.’

He smiles back at me. ‘You’re welcome.’ All of my in-securities turn to vapour. Poof! Just like that.

When we reach Arthur’s, one of Stoke Newington’s most-frequented cafés, it’s busy inside on account of the air conditioning and it being Saturday brunch. I don’t think we’ll get a table.

‘We might have to get takeout,’ I say, eyes skimming over the packed tables.

‘Jessie!’

I follow the sound of the voice calling my name – it’s Ali, sat at a booth in the corner, waving me over.

‘Oh,’ I say, freezing to the spot. She’s with Cal. Ali and Cal are having a lovely cosy breakfast. I look like shit, I’m with Leo, Cal is awful, and now I have to go make nice. Also: didn’t Cal say he was going to end things with Ali? This doesn’t look very ‘broken up’ to me. Not that I should trust anything he says anyway.

‘My friend …’ I say to Leo, pointing towards Ali. I leave him to ask about tables and walk towards her.

‘Well, he’s dashing,’ Ali says, gesturing to Leo as she stands up to issue two air kisses. I air-kiss back, wondering if she can smell last night’s booze on me, because I’m pretty sure I can. I should have showered. Ali looks behind me to beckon Leo over, and he looks puzzled, then weaves through the seated throng towards us and stands beside me.

‘Hi!’ says Ali. ‘I’m Ali. This is Cal. Would you two like to join us?’

Leo opens his mouth to speak, flops it shut, opens it again and says, ‘This is so cringe of me, but I can’t pretend I don’t know who you are. Ali O’Hara, right?’

Ali smiles and puts her hands together in a prayer position in front of her chest. She gives a bow.

‘Yes,’ she says. ‘And you are?’

‘Leo,’ Leo says, and he looks at me, shrugs, and then accepts the invitation to join Ali and Cal without consultation. But then, that’s the thing when a celebrity isinvolved, and I’ve seen it before: the world bends to their will.Of coursewe’re joining them. It all happens with zero input from me. As I try to figure out a way to say,No, we won’t stay, I’m not really hungry any more, we have to go, Leo gets settled at the table, everyone moves things about, and then they all turn to look at me. Cal looks shifty as all hell, and I look away from him quickly. Leo and Ali smile expectantly and I feel like I don’t have any choice but to sit, so I acquiesce. I donotwant to be here, and yet.

We order coffee and sparkling water and bacon sandwiches with hash browns, halloumi fries and an order of American pancakes for the table to share, because although Ali won’t eat anything but the yoghurt and fruit she already has, it turns out that Cal and Leo are ravenous, and not afraid to show it. Meanwhile I’ve lost my appetite.

‘So,’ Ali says, once we’re all sorted. She’s sat next to Leo, and I’m the other side of the table next to Cal. I don’t want to be so close to him, but at least I don’t have to look at him. A thought hits me: am I the problem? My dad, Cal … is the hostile person me? Because my issues with men seem to be adding up. I feel like a Taylor Swift song.

‘So,’ repeats Leo, catching my eye and giving me a wink.

Ali grins. ‘Are you the guy from the river walk?’

Leo pulls a face. ‘I don’tthinkI’m the guy from the river walk …’ he says. He looks to me. ‘Am I?’

‘No,’ I say. ‘You’re not. Ali, that was …’ I wave a hand. I can feel Cal inhale next to me. Does hewantme to out him? Well, tough. After all the drama last night I can’t exactlyput Leo through episode two ofJessie’s Drama-Filled Life.Instead I say: ‘That didn’t work out.’

Ali nods. ‘Shit,’ she says. ‘Sorry.’ She turns to Leo. ‘Jessie is the most eligible woman in London, and yet hasn’t had anyone serious for so long! She had this whole adventure with a stranger …’

‘Leo doesn’t want to know that!’ I say, panicking, because I’m sure Leo trulydoesn’t, indeed, want to hear about it, but also, Cal is right next to me.

‘Sure I do,’ he says, as coffee is served. He leans in to Ali and murmurs, in a voice designed for me to still be able to hear, ‘I happen to be thrilled she’s single. I might finally have a chance! Now, tell me everything about this other fella so I can ensure I won’t make the same mistakes …’

Beside me, Cal puts an empty teaspoon into his coffee and stirs, and stirs, and stirs.

‘I don’t think—’ I try to say, but Ali talks over me.

‘It’s a fun story!’ she interrupts, gearing up to tell it as a bit of a performance, all eyes on her, as it should be in a fair and just world. ‘So, Jessie is out getting groceries one day, at Whole Foods, when the fire alarm goes off. And they won’t let anyone leave, because they have to account for everyone or whatever, and she gets talking to this guy, and it turns out they’ve met before, doing a Tough Mudder. Anyway, they end up spending the whole day together, seeing a show, getting dinner, and then as they’re walking along the river at night, there’s this woman, standing on the wall, overlooking the water, and it looks like she’s about to jump.’

‘Whoa,’ Leo says. ‘This took a turn.’

‘Dramatic, right?’ Ali agrees. ‘But this guy – Jessie, what was his name?’

I shake my head and act innocent. ‘I can’t remember now …’ I say.

‘This was only a couple of weeks ago,’ Ali clarifies for Leo, indiscreetly. ‘Anyway, this guy goes and talks to the woman on the wall, knows exactly what to say, spends hours trying to get her down by taking to her about her life, his life, the weather … and then he puts the woman in a cab to the hospital, goes with her, and is never heard from again!’

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