Page 37 of Love at First Sight

‘Sorry,’ I say, because at the end of the day this isn’t my house and maybe Ishouldhave knocked. ‘I didn’t want to disturb you. It’s two p.m.? I said I’d come drop off my stuff before pick-up?’

‘Yes, yes,’ Ali says quickly. ‘Thom, help her, would you? That looks heavy.’

I step aside and let the gallant Thom take my case, and Ali looks at me like she isn’t sure what to say. Finally she settles on, ‘I didn’t realise it was two p.m. already.’

‘Yeah,’ I say, because this atmosphere, man – it’s weird. The air lies thick with the unsaid, and I sure as hell have no business trying to put words to what I’ve walked in on. A small red flag waves itself in the recesses of my mind, but I’m not here to reach conclusions. ‘You all packed?’ I ask, filling the awkward silence with words. ‘Your car comes soon, doesn’t it?’

Thom comes back down from the second floor and announces my case is in my room, and Ali says quickly, ‘Thanks, Thom. I’ll let you know about everything you’ve said today. Are you okay letting yourself out?’

Thom says he is, and goes in to kiss Ali’s cheek. It’s super uncomfortable and, to be honest, I’ve never seen them like this before. Thom adds to the awkwardness by kissing my cheek goodbye too, something I don’t think he’s done ever. Seriously. Ever.

Ali and I listen to him walk down the stairs, through the hallway, and open and close the door. Only once we hear the click of the latch does Ali speak. ‘Cal,’ she says, and for a moment I think she’s going to tell me not to mention this to him. ‘He’s going to come to set to visit next week, with Henry, so he’ll drive you both. I’m kind of into you being around as Henry gets to know him; it’s a good halfway house, you know? It’s been super helpful so far.’

‘Oh,’ I say, scrambling to come up with a reason why that won’t be necessary. I don’t want to be locked in a car for hours with Cal. ‘I can take the train, it’s really not a problem.’ Ali waves a hand.

‘It’s all sorted,’ she says, turning to go back into her bedroom. ‘Don’t worry.’

Neither of us mentions Thom again.

I’m just carrying down one of Ali’s bags for her when the doorbell goes.

‘That’ll be Cal,’ Ali shouts over the banister. She’s obviously made the switch from her nickname for him to his actual name, although when that happened I’m not sure. ‘Offer him a cuppa, would you?’

‘Okay!’ I yell back, and hate that I check my hair in the hallway mirror before welcoming him in.

‘Ali’s just upstairs getting the last of her stuff together,’ I say as a greeting, and Cal replies, ‘Hello to you too.’

‘I’m under orders to offer you tea,’ I tell him stiffly. I don’t know how to act normal. Ali, Thom, Cal, me … it’s all a bit much, in ways too slippery to fully figure out.

‘That’d be grand, cheers,’ Cal replies, following me into the kitchen and plopping himself down on a breakfast stool, Ali not far behind him.

‘Hello, handsome,’ she says, coming over to kiss his cheek. She was in a little summer dress before; now she’s in cut-offs and a halter top, feet bare. She smells like recently spritzed perfume.

‘Hello,’ Cal replies, not quite matching Ali’s romantic tone.

‘Oh, make three why don’t you?’ Ali says as I give Cal his tea. I look to the clock on the wall. ‘You’ve got time!’ Ali decides for me. ‘Come on! We can go to the garden for tenminutes and chat. You two are my two favourite people! Well, my two favourite adults, anyway. Let’s have ten minutes before we all have to go. I insist.’

As already established, there’s not much that can be done when Ali insists on something. I made Cal a breakfast tea, but I do green tea for Ali and me, adding water from the cold tap to make it drinkable quicker. I wanna get out of here.

Ali and Cal are on the two-seater outside, so I slip into the single armchair.

‘How’s it going with lovely Leo?’ Ali asks. ‘It was really nice to bump into you guys at the café. He seemsveryinto you.’

‘Oh,’ I say. ‘I don’t know how that’s going to go. He’s nice, but we’ve not hooked up or anything yet. It might be more of a friendship.’

‘Not even kissed?’ Ali clarifies, and I feel super uncomfortable answering her Spanish Inquisition in front of Cal. I scrunch up my nose and shake my head. ‘I’d be rectifying that immediately,’ Ali says. ‘He’s perfect for you!’ She turns to Cal. ‘Jessie hasn’t committed to anyone since foul Craig. Can you believe that when her father was going through treatment for a brain tumour her ex-boyfriend ended their five-year relationship? Because I can’t. That is unforgivable. Do we even know where he is now, Jessie?’

I sip at my tea to buy some time and then say, ‘Do we care?’

‘No,’ Ali decides. ‘We do not.’

I can feel Cal watching me.Yes, I want to say,I wasdumped during a very difficult time. Yes, there hasn’t been anyone since then. Yes, perhaps you did have a lucky escape choosing the famous leggy actress over frail, damaged me.Not that I want to be chosen by him, of course, knowing what I know.

Also, I’m not frail and damaged! Why did I even just think that? I know Ali is my friend, but being in her orbit really does make me feel bad about myself sometimes, like she loves having a ‘normie’ around her who suffers such things as ‘men not loving her back’. I do wish she wouldn’t talk about my personal life the way she does, as though my troubles make her life more interesting by proxy.

‘Well,’ Cal says, ‘Leo seems like a good guy. Ali’s right, he’s obviously very taken with you. He’d be lucky if you reciprocated.’

‘That’s a nice thing to say,’ Ali tells him, looking into his eyes in a way that renders me obsolete. ‘Kind man.’ She gives him a little peck on the lips, and as chaste as it is, it’s my cue to leave. I down my tea, burning my throat, and stand up.

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