Page 61 of Love at First Sight

‘Oh Dad,’ I say. ‘You’re a catch! I hate that she made you feel that way.’

‘Probably made myself feel that way if we’re going to be blunt,’ he says. ‘I know you never liked her.’

I pull a face. ‘I wanted to. I really do want you to have everything you want for yourself. Maybe I could sense she was always going to leave, too.’

‘Maybe,’ Dad says. ‘And it’s happened now, hasn’t it?’

I look at him. ‘I know.’

He wells up, using the back of his hand to wipe away a stray tear.

‘You’re so good to me, Jessie,’ he says, reaching out to my arm. ‘I don’t deserve you. Not after the way I treated you. I don’t know what happened, with the engagement party, and the wedding. Telling you not to come like that …’

A huge sob escapes from the base of his throat, low and guttural. It makes me feel like crying too, except I’m all cried out.

‘I’m sorry too, Dad,’ I say, and he shakes his head.

‘No. You don’t have a single thing to be sorry for. I’m the parent, I’m the dad …’ He looks at me, pressing his mouth into a resolved line as he studies my face. ‘I should have been better to you. There’s no excuse. I just needyou to know that I’ll be the dad you deserve from now on, okay? I’ve been awful, and you still came …’ He cries properly now. ‘I pushed everyone else away, Jessie. It’s like I’ve been in a trance …’

I get up from my side of the table and go to him, wrapping my arm around his back and pulling him into me.

‘Thank you for saying sorry,’ I tell him.

He nods, sadly.

Our waiter comes over to clear our dirty plates, so I go back to my seat and let Dad’s apology settle into my bones. I really feel like he means it, and I want everything to go back to normal so desperately.

‘Do you want me to fill you in on what you’ve missed?’ I ask him, when the waiter has gone. ‘Because there’s a lot,’ I add, in a way that lets him know I forgive him.

‘Tell me everything,’ he says. ‘I hate that I’ve missed anything at all.’

I get him up to speed on Cal, the one-who-got-away, as we head over to the Stray Kids site so he can see the vision in person. We meander past the toy shop, gift shop and greengrocer’s as I try to explain the best I can.

‘Hmmm,’ Dad says, once I reach the punchline of Ali’s ultimatum. ‘I don’t think I’m happy about any of this,’ he muses. ‘She can’t dictate what you do outside of your working hours, I’m sure, whether it’s who you date or any other work you do. Although I know it’s not been mentioned since that text.’

I sigh. ‘You know Ali,’ I say. ‘She likes to be in controlof everything. It’s just how she is. She’ll come around, once she sees it.’

‘Well, yes …’ Dad says. ‘Radical acceptance of people is important, but I have to say: not at the cost of your own life. You’ve always said she’s like the sister you never had, that you’re part of her family, but I don’t think we can turn a blind eye to this any more. She’s not your sister, she’s yourboss, Jessie, and not a very good one.’

‘That’s not fair. She’s been great to me! To you, too.’

‘Helping financially when your dad was poorly and giving you make-up cast-offs that PRs have given her does not make her great to you,’ India says, and I turn around to see her right behind us.

‘India!’ I say. ‘How long have you been stalking us?’

‘Since the greengrocer’s,’ she says, before looking at my dad and saying, ‘Hi, Paul. Bring it in, big guy.’ She opens her arms and envelops Dad in a hug. ‘I heard about Simone. You doing okay?’

Dad looks at me. ‘News travels fast.’

‘She’s my best friend,’ I say, in my defence.

‘And I have her on Find My Friends, so could see that she was at your house last night,’ India points out. Dad shrugs.

‘Are you going to the site?’ India asks, and I nod. ‘Cool. Can I come with? Am I gatecrashing?’

‘You are,’ Dad says. ‘But since you talk such good sense, we’ll let it happen.’

‘Oh yes,’ India sing-songs. ‘Where was I? Ali … Hmmm. Oh. I know. She can be great, but I don’t thinkshe’s as respectful to you as you deserve. She takes you for granted.’

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