Page 64 of Love at First Sight

The cab pulls up outside a grand stone building with a water fountain in front. I pay and tell the driver thanks. I don’t know where I’m going, which part of the building I need to be in, but I stride towards the biggest door at the front, assuming it’s some sort of reception and I’ll be directed accordingly.

‘Hello,’ I say, sounding sharp enough that the receptionist looks alarmed. I cough, take a breath, and remind myself she’s my key to getting in, so I had better be nicer. ‘Sorry,’ I say, forcing a laugh. ‘God, I sounded crazy then, didn’t I? Sorry. It’s one of those days. I’m here to see Cal, up in Health and Safety? He’s dealing with my community project, Stray Kids.’

The woman considers this and then taps on her computer.

‘Calvin Lopez?’

I pull a face. ‘Yes? I think? I don’t actually remember his surname.’

‘Calvin Lopez, Health and Safety manager. I think that must be him. Let me ring up. Who shall I say is here?’

I tap the desk nervously, considering a lie. Will he come down if he knows it’s me?

‘Jessie,’ I say. Then I add: ‘He’s expecting me.’

I try not to look too eager as the receptionist places a phone call, holds for ages, gets passed around several people and then murmurs, ‘Hmmm, yes, I see, okay, thank you.’

‘Apparently,’ she says, after hanging up, ‘Calvin Lopez isn’t in the office today. He’s on leave.’

‘Right,’ I say, not believing her. He’s hiding from me. ‘Are you sure?’

She blinks.

‘Yes?’ she replies, sensing a trap, I assume. ‘That’s what his line manager told me.’

‘Can you tell me how long he’ll be on leave?’ I ask, and the receptionist looks torn. There’s a flicker of doubt in her face, like she can tell I really want to know –needto know – but also wants to remain professional. I decide to take a chance, and tell her the truth.

‘We kind of had a thing,’ I say, putting it all out there. ‘Almost. This was before I knew he was affiliated with my project. I had no idea he’d be involved, if you can believe that. It’s all been a series of very odd coincidences. I turned him down, in the end, and now I’ve been told I’ve failed my Health and Safety assessment for a project that’s this close’ – I hold up two fingers an inch apart – ‘from opening. And I can’t help but feel like he’s got something to do with that. It’s just too …’ I search for the word, but it turns out I don’t need it.

‘Look,’ she says. ‘All I got told on the phone is that he took an immediate leave of absence for “personal reasons”. He’ll be gone a few weeks. I think he’s gone to Spain. I’msorry for your project, but for what it’s worth that email wouldn’t have come from Cal, it would have come from his line manager, who’s the person I spoke to on the phone. I know her – she’s really friendly and super invested in what she does. She won’t have failed you nefariously. If you talk to her, she’ll help you get it right and you might still meet your opening deadline. Do you want me to ask her to come down? Or to make an appointment?’

I sigh.

‘Yes,’ I say. ‘An appointment would be good.’

I call India when I’m back outside, mortified by my behaviour in the last ten minutes.

‘I half want to go back and correct myself for misspeaking, take back the suggestion Cal had anything to do with this. I’m so embarrassed, India. I can feel my cheeks burning.’

‘Oh babe,’ she says. ‘You’re passionate about it! You were being a mama bear over your baby! Anyone can understand that!’

‘Yeah,’ I say, half-heartedly.

‘If I can just say …’ India starts, sounding trepidatious. I’m pretty sure I know what she’s going to say before she says it.

‘You already arejust saying,’ I tell her. ‘So go on.’

‘You’re being very quick to hand over your power to other people. On some level, it’s almost like you thought you deserved to fail your Health and Safety check, because your dream can’t really be happening, can’t really becoming true. So it would have been a perfect excuse if Cal had foiled it all, wouldn’t it?’

‘Oh god,’ I say. ‘I’m pathetic, aren’t I? You’re right. If Cal stopped it from happening, I wouldn’t have to risk failing at it …’

‘Maybe that’s why you’ve still not properly told Ali it’s actually happening?’ India suggests. ‘And maybe …’

‘I should?’ I supply. ‘Urgh! You’re so annoying when you’re right!’

‘I’ve been told I’m annoying even when I’m wrong,’ India laughs.

‘You won’t believe what I saw Ali and Thom doing earlier,’ I say. ‘They were at it doggy style on the stairs. I saw Thom’s knob and everything!’

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