Page 74 of Love at First Sight

She looks down. ‘Calvin Lopez, before he went on annual leave, yeah. I just can’t figure out what he’s done here. It must be a mistake.’

‘Jules,’ I say. ‘He and I …’

‘Oh god,’ she says, holding up a hand and looking afraid. ‘Don’t tell me. Were you seeing him?’

‘No!’ I say, because obviously, technically, we weren’t anything. ‘We knew each other, before all this.’

‘Romantically?’ she clarifies.

‘It’s complicated,’ I admit. ‘But long story short, he wanted it to be and I didn’t. You don’t think there’s any way this misunderstanding is related to that, do you?’

‘That little fuck,’ Jules says, and I’m taken aback by her language. She seemed so professional! But I suppose behind every lanyard there’s a woman who won’t stand for tomfoolery. ‘I told him if this ever happened again …’

‘It’s happened before?’

Jules sighs, and closes her portfolio. We’re not professionals, now, we’re women. And women tell each other the truth. ‘I’ve said too much. As his boss, I cannot further expand. Legally speaking, considering this will now have to go to HR. But as a fellow woman, Jessie, I am so very sorry for wasting your time. You obviously have all yourducks in a row, everything sorted. I wish you all the luck in the world. I really do. It looks grand, and I have a feeling you’re going to be very successful indeed.’

She stands up and reaches out a hand for me to shake, which I take.

‘Thank you,’ I say, and as I watch her walk away I think:Cal did this to me? And he’s done it before? What a dick!

I march out of the park and down Church Street, my mind racing. This is insane: Cal was supposed to be a good guy. I mean, well, he’s had a bit of a narrative arc to him. First he was good, then he was bad, but lately he’s been good again. And good guys don’t behave this way. Is he mad at Ali but lashing out at me? Have I missed something, or am I really being punished for turning him down? I didn’t even want to! Ali made me! But heck if I didn’t have a lucky escape, then, if this is the kind of crazy, unhinged behaviour he’s capable of. I cannot understand how anyone could do something so awful. What a foul, immature boy.

I find myself outside the butcher’s, Leo’s reassuring face smiling at me through the window when he sees me and then frowning when it is apparent I’m spiralling.

‘Everything has been approved for Stray Kids,’ I say, as I walk in.

He looks to his left to speak to somebody I can’t see. ‘Jeff, I’m going to pop out for a few minutes.’ He takes off his apron, washes his hands, and then guides me out of the shop to a bench in the shade across the street.

‘Isn’t being approved for everything at Stray Kids a good thing?’ he asks me, slowly.

‘Well, yes,’ I say. ‘Obviously. But this was my second go on the horse. And you know what? It turns out I didn’t need a second go, because Cal sabotaged my first one! On purpose! Because I didn’t want to hook up with him, or whatever.’

Leo exhales sharply. ‘Right,’ he says. ‘And who is Cal?’

‘You had brunch with him, with Ali.’

‘Oh!’ he says, perking up. I watch him connect all the dots. ‘Cal? He hit on you? He cheated on Ali?’

‘Nothing happened,’ I say. ‘And he didn’t proposition me until after she’d dumped him. Which is another thing! All this time he was stringing me along, telling me they were going to break up …’

‘Oh,’ says Leo, and I can tell he’s trying to hide his disappointment. ‘You were into him then?’

‘No!’ I say, too quickly. I look at Leo. He’s furrowing his brow, waiting for the rest of the story. ‘Maybe,’ I say. ‘I was trying not to be.’

‘Got it,’ says Leo, uncertainly.

We sit, and my heart rate slows back down, my breathing returning to normal. Leo waits patiently, not rushing to fill the silence with empty platitudes or versions of a pep talk. I appreciate that. I like it when a man doesn’t go into problem-solving mode. I really did just need to vent.

‘I’ve calmed down now,’ I say, eventually. ‘Sorry for dumping all that on you.’

‘Honoured you thought of me,’ Leo replies. ‘And I’m glad you feel better.’

‘I just really don’t get why somebody would be so mean to another person, you know? Like go after the thing they really care about? It’s psychotic.’

Leo nods. ‘I’ll say.’

‘Thank you for listening.’ I take a big breath, steadying myself and trying to get into a new headspace, one without Cal bloody Lopez in it. ‘Looks like the launch will be going ahead as planned, anyway.’ I muster up a smile and a little ‘Yay!’ with some jazz hands.

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