Page 75 of Love at First Sight

‘I’m pleased for you, Jessie,’ Leo says. ‘I really am.’

‘Thank you.’

‘And for what it’s worth …’

He hesitates.

‘Yes?’ I say.

‘You need to start believing you’re worthy of a man who can say that he wants youandfollow through with the actions to prove it.’

It takes way too long for me to understand that Leo is referring to himself. I woke up thinking of him, and still can’t believe he wants me. What the hell is my problem?

‘You.’ I let it slip out before I can stop myself.

‘Please tell me you are not this clueless,’ Leo says. ‘Yes, Jessie. I’ve been here the whole time, just trying to show you how much I like you. I thought …’

He pauses.

‘Go on,’ I say, my heart thundering so hard I feel like it’s making the rest of me shake.

Softly, he intones: ‘I thought you felt it too.’

I take in the lines of his face, how his sharp jaw curves up towards his ear. The soft bit of skin beneath his earlobe. The mole on his collarbone.

‘Jessie,’ he says, leaning towards me. ‘It’s me. I’m the guy.’

I find myself moving my body in his direction, looking at his mouth as he stares down at mine. Leo reaches out and cups my head, his big, manly hand spreading fingers across the side of my skull, his thumb gently caressing the space near my mouth. He smiles, like he’s finally getting dessert at a busy restaurant that took too long with his order. He’s so handsome. And kind. And he’s been here, by my side, helping me. And of course I fancy him – who wouldn’t? He’s charming, the world’s biggest flirt.

The world’s biggest flirt.

Urgh.

I pull away, look over to the road.

‘Oh no,’ he says, dropping his hand. ‘What just happened?’

‘I’ve already let one man distract me from all this,’ I say. ‘From Stray Kids and … life. I can’t let another one do the same …’

It hurts me to say it, so much so that I consider not saying anything at all. But I need to be strong for myself. These next few days are everything I’ve wanted for so long. I need to be sensible. Cal almost threw me off course. Wouldn’t I be a tragic fool if I let Leo do the same?

‘That’s just it,’ Leo says. ‘I wouldn’tbea distraction. I’d be an asset.’

I shake my head, sadly. ‘Don’t, Leo,’ I say. ‘Come on. I’m not strong enough for this.’

‘You really do think I’m just a player, don’t you?’ he asks.

‘Aren’t you?’ I immediately regret it. He looks devastated, his face falling in on itself.

‘No,’ he insists. ‘Jesus, Jessie. I am here. I have been here. I don’t know how to make my intentions any clearer! It’s like you don’twantto be happy …’

‘I want to be happy,’ I retort. ‘Of course I want to be happy!’

‘So let this be easy,’ he tells me. ‘Jessie …’

But my attention is caught by a passing woman who I recognise. She’s wearing gym clothes, Lycra shorts and a sports bra, in mint green. Her skin is the colour of walnut, smooth as I’ve ever seen in real life, and her hair is half tied up and half cascading down her back, like a waterfall. She’s gorgeous. Leo is looking right at me, and his gaze does not waver, but I swear I hear her say, ‘Hi, Leo.’ It’s enough to remind me that for as much as I like Leo – and I do, I actually really do, now I can admit it to myself – I can’t. I can’t do this. I don’t believe he really wants it either. He could have anyone. I think he likes the thrill of the chase, and I don’t trust that he won’t tire of me as soon as he thinks he can have me. I can’t ignore what I already know about him: he’s a player. Not when I ignored somany red flags with Cal. The evidence in Leo’s ‘against’ column is just too great.

‘I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘I can’t.’