Page 107 of Shiver

“What exactly do you think is going on here?” she asks, her voice still quiet.

I can’t even answer her, knowing that I have no right to feel as torn up about this as I do. She was clear from the start, and I’m the one who went and became emotionally invested.

I knew this would break me.

But I did it anyway.

At least I know she was worth it.Because every moment spent with Samara has been worth the inevitable soul-shattering heartache I’m about to experience for the first time in my life.

“Luca, you’ve gotta talk to me here because I think there might be a misunderstanding, and there’s nothing I hate more than miscommunication when it could be easily solved by both people opening their damn mouths,” she tells me, her voice now a more familiar volume.

I work my jaw, trying to unlatch it from its hinges so I can finally speak, but my tongue is glued to the roof of my mouth.

When I manage to speak, my voice sounds as choked up as I feel. “I figured if I only got one more night with you, we may as well make it a good one. Go out with a bang, ya know?”

I try to lighten the mood with a chuckle, but the sound never makes it out of my throat.

She squeezes her eyes closed, dropping her hands from mine and rolling out from under me. Samara sits up, staring me down as she shakes her head, seemingly in disappointment. “Luca, you stupid,stupidboy.”

“I know,” I agree. “It was stupid. You told me from the beginning that we weren’t ever going to be anything, and here I am,” I say, smacking my forehead with my palm, feeling even more like an idiot now that I’ve spoken the words out in the open.

I feel her wrench my hand away from my face as she clutches the fine layer of hair in the center of my chest. “No! God, Luca. This isn’t goodbye sex!” she shouts.

“This is ‘hello’ sex!” she says, her voice an octave higher.

“‘See you in the morning’ sex!” Her voice continues to climb. “’Let’s do this again’ sex! ‘Cuddle me after this’ sex! ‘Let’s go another round’ sex!”

I stare at her, stunned, my mouth agape. “I’m sorry, what?” I ask, tilting my head, hoping the confusion I’m feeling will lift enough for me to fully grasp her words.

She grabs my cheeks between her palms and pierces me with her gaze. “You, Luca De Laurentiis, are a fuckingprize.And I’m a fool for taking this long to realize it. And no, before you do that dumb shit your brain is probably formulating up there,” she says, tapping on my forehead with her index finger, “I don’t mean that I suddenly found clarity after having sex with you. I likeyou, Luca. Not just your dick.You, the sweet, funny, kind, compassionate man who drives me up a goddamn wall and simultaneously keeps me from jumping off the top of that same wall when my family is driving me nuts.You,the man who had a literal child thrown into his life with absolutely no warning, and still managed to do the right thing, pick up the pieces, and then shock me in my own courtroom by still finding that compassion woven so thoroughly into you that you can find empathy for just about anyone, even the woman who didn’t tell you about that child.You, Luca, the man who I’ve been fighting so damn hard not to fall for, and yet, somehow, you’ve made that feel impossible.” When she’s finished, she’s panting with the effort it took to shout directly into my face that long.

The understanding that Samara is falling for me, though definitely not as hard as I’ve fallen for her, knocks me flat on my ass, but the weight I’ve been carrying around, waiting for an entirely different outcome to this night, leaves me immediately. The corners of my mouth turn up, and finally, I can speak. “You like me?” I tease.

There’s that eye roll I love so damn much. “You’re insufferable.” She huffs. “But yes,” she confirms, her voice softening. “Very much.”

I meld my lips against hers and pull her body down beside me in bed.

“Too much, I think,” she whispers softly.

My lips brush over her hair, and I just hold her.

My heart squeezes tightly in my chest, an unfamiliar serenity enveloping me as I dig through the pieces of tonight and list out the most important ones.

Kat and Alessandro are finally married, and the wedding was beautiful.

They’re adopting a little boy named Oliver, who I’m bound to love more than life itself, just like I do all of my nieces and nephews.I love being an uncle.

The next one makes me feel every bit like the idiot that Samara told me I am.I thought this was our last night together.

And the last thought makes my heart pound so hard and fast it might just explode out of my chest. I was wrong, and more than that,she wants to be with me.

Minutes that feel like hours pass by, and when she rolls over, still facing me, I have another question on the tip of my tongue.

My brows pinch slightly as I look down into those warm-brown eyes I adore. “Call me apprehensive, sweetheart, but I can’t just accept that you’re falling for me because I’m simply the best,” I start, making sure I’m being open and honest to avoid any further miscommunication between us. “We need to have a real conversation about this. I want to know the real reason,everyreason that you ever felt you couldn’t trust me or that things between us wouldn’t work. Because as much as I want them to, they won’t if we aren’t honest from the jump.”

She nods, taking a moment to gather her thoughts.

“When I first met you, I was jealous and pissed off.” My head rears back as surprise clutches at my neck.What was there to be jealous of?I was a wreck when we met. Hell, I still sort of am. “I had recently finished a round of IVF that I decided was going to be my last, and with no baby in sight despite years of trying, here you were, asking for my help after a perfect, healthy little girl fell right into your arms.”

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