Page 20 of Shiver

“Everything is too hard,” she cries. “It all hurts. My body aches, and I want to be with her, but every time she cries, I just want tostrangleher, and it’s not right, Luca! This isn’t how this was supposed to be. I was supposed to have her and love her unconditionally and give her anything she needs, but I’m just not good enough.”

Believe me, I feel similarly.

My heart thuds violently against my ribs. My mind is catching on to a few specific words that send a chill of fear racing through me. “Cici,” I whisper, my voice cracking. “Have you ever thought of ending your life?”

She freezes in my arms before the floodgates open even wider. She shakes against me as I fight to hold her still.

“Yes,” she whispers when several minutes have passed, and her body lies limply against mine.

I run my hand over the crown of her head, stroking her silky strands in an attempt to comfort her. “I need you to get help,” I whisper, my throat raw from repressed tears. “Gianeeds you to get help, okay? I’ll take care of her full-time while you get what you need, and you can see her as often as you want until you’re cleared by a psychiatrist, and then we can co-parent.” I hope the confidence in my words can somehow giveherthe strength she needs to seek help, but I pulled that plan out of my ass and have no idea what I’m doing either. “We canbothbe the parents that she needs us to be, but I need you to work with me here.”

“Okay,” she answers quietly a moment later, finally pulling away from my chest to look me in the eyes. “Thank you, Luca,” she adds, and it cracks my heart wide open.

Chapter eighteen

Samara

Tuesday, July 14, 2026

It’s late by the time I get home.

My feet ache as I kick my heels off at the door, wiggling my cramped, swollen toes on the hard floors.

I roll my head from side to side, stretching out the tension gathered in my neck and shoulders from the first day of what’s turning into a long string of days spent supporting Sierra, a client I’ve been meeting with for two months now.

She’s worked so damn hard to get her shit together for her son, but her ex has found an attorney who’s more than happy to stereotype my client, using harmful insinuations about her character to back up his claims.

There are very few things in this world that piss me off more than people with inherent privilege from the color of their skin and the dick and balls swinging between their legs to get further in life.

My muscles feel rigid, and my jaw has seemingly ceased to unclench since we finished up today.

I set my purse on the entryway table, grabbing my phone from the inside pocket and sorting through messages as I make my way to my room for a nice, hot bath.

My eyes land on a text from Luca, and my lips pinch together as I read the message.

Luca

Hey Samara, I just wanted to thank you again for everything you’ve done for Gia and me. I know we may have gotten off on the wrong foot, but I couldn’t have done this without you guiding me through the process. My little girl and I get to have many more nights like this one because of you, and I can’t thank you enough for that. Have a great rest of your night.

It doesn’t really feel like I did much of anything.

Frustrated tears well in my eyes as I click on the attached image. Luca and Gia are cuddled up on a couch with a fluffy pink blanket wrapped around them. Gia’s lids are barely open, but there’s no hiding those stunning eyes that mirror her father’s.One green and one blue.

For the rest of the night, I will myself to stop thinking about Luca. He’s done nothing but add stress to my already hectic life, and somehow, he’s an anomaly. I find myself repeatedly thinking about every way in which this man has surprised me since knowing him, and it frustrates me to no end that I’m starting to think far more of the good than I am the bad.

Chapter nineteen

Samara

Thursday, July 16, 2026

My heart feels heavy after my final day in court with Sierra.

The judge afforded her custody two days out of each week, with the possibility for additional time spent with her son after she can supply proof of a stable and sufficient income and a home to match.

Every time I have an outcome like this, it brings up the errant feelings I still struggle with surrounding Cora. I don’t love the idea of my clients having to be around their abusers, even if they weren’t physically abused. Emotional abuse is just as bad, if not worse, to some because, without the physical evidence, it can be extremely difficult for victims to realize they’re being abused and have the strength to seek help.

The emotions swarming inside me from Sierra’s case are so different from how I felt earlier this week after Luca’s hearing.

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