Page 21 of Shiver

After we left the courthouse on Monday, I was dazed and confused, to say the least.

I’ve spoken to Luca a handful of times since then, getting paperwork together and finalizing his agreement with the mother of his child. It’ll be a few weeks before everything is completely settled from a legal perspective, but she’s already started at an inpatient psychiatric hospital, where she’ll have access to medication, group therapy, and one-on-one counseling until she feels ready to transition to an outpatient setting.

I should be happy that this went so well for my client, but mostly, I’m confused.

And while confusion is definitely at the top of the list of emotions I’ve been battling with in regard to Luca and Gia, it certainly isn’t the only one.

I’m in disbelief that Luca was even able to recognize what Cecily was going through, let alone act on his intuition in front of a room full of people actively making judgments about him.

And I was one of them.

I’m annoyed that he’s somehow managed to weasel his way into my mind in every spare moment I have.

There’s also a sense of unease filling my gut that makes me worry I might be losing my touch.Maybe I’m not as good at reading people as I used to be? Maybe I’ve become cynical after so many terrible experiences for myself, my friends, and my clients?

And then there’s the anguish I felt for Cecily, and frankly, still do. I feel crushed for her and every other woman who has to battle it out with so many changes and the stress that comes with pregnancy only to be thrown for another loop after delivery.

Postpartum depression is a hell of a thing to go through for anyone, but especially when the pregnancy was a surprise. I’m frustrated that she didn’t tell Luca that she was pregnant, but I can also sympathize with the fact that she was likely overwhelmed and probably thinking a lot of what I was when I first met him.

That there was no way he would change his ways for that child.

And then there’s the unsteady feeling surrounding why I can’t seem to stop thinking about him in the first place.

It’s clear that there’s more than meets the eye with Luca, and even that irritates me.

“Ah, come on,” I grumble, making the decision I’ve been dwelling on for hours now.

I’ll just drive over there, make sure he’s adjusting fine, and then I’ll leave. It’s nothing more than a professional visit from his lawyer to ensure everything is going well for my client.

That is allthis is.

Christ, Ihopethat’s all this is.

Hopping in the Range Rover, I set up my Bluetooth and start up my favorite playlist for when I’m feeling out of it.1

I pull out onto the road and head toward the last person on the planet who I thought I’d be willingly seeking out.

***

My hands are practically shaking as I head toward his front door.Why the fuck am I here again?

I banish the thought as soon as it pops into my head.I probably won’t like the answer to that question.

Knocking gently, I stand here unmoving, staring at the dark-blue door before me as I contemplate all of my life decisions up to this point.

Why am I here?

I should leave. Besides, I probably didn’t knock hard enough for anyone to hear me.

Yep, no one would’ve heard me. I’ll turn around, get in my car, and save myself from this awkward-ass conversation.

Just as I’m finally ungluing my feet from the ground, his door bursts open.

A cloud of cool air rushes out of his house, and a woman who I recognize to be Luca’s mother smiles up at me from the doorway. She’s seated in a purple electric wheelchair with rhinestone flames emblazoned on the sides.

Well, you can’t say she isn’t making the most of her condition.

“Hello, can I help you?” she asks politely, her lips turned up in a small grin.

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