Page 26 of Resilient Love

I didn’t intend to give him such intimate details about my past or my history with bipolar disorder, but it felt like I owed him an answer. And more than that, I still feel unsettled that he’s letting me off the hook so easily, as ifhedoesn’t want to dig further into the chaos my mind sometimes creates. It might not have been a controlled version of me that acted the way I had last week, but itwaswhen I’d decided not to take my medication in the first place.

That’s what leaves me feeling like there’s more that I need to explain to him.

Though the smouldering looks he’s been tossing my way today say otherwise. It seems he really doesn't think any less of me, and I’m not sure why it even matters to me, but that knowledge has my shoulders sagging in relief and a weight lifting from my chest.

Those deep brown eyes of his have also had a less-than-desirable effect. They feel flame-filled as they brush over my skin and have settled into my core. I’m going to need a solid hour with my favourite toy to move past the feeling, but then I should be able to rid my mind of him entirely.Yeah, sure.

I shake the thought out of my head and make it over to the locker room, changing before heading home.

A wide smile lights my face when I finish the godforsaken practice exam I’ve been working on for the last two hours.

How can you even call it a bloody practice exam if it’s worth a grade?

It was brutal. Plus, the essay I had due last night, but luckily got an extension on, is going to be even more of a headache.

In the meantime, I plan to take a little break and reward myself for a job well done. Or at least, a job completed.

I shimmy my shorts down my thighs and kick them to the end of the bed, tugging the top drawer of my nightstand openand grabbing out my favourite toy. I turn the vibrator on and press the wide, silicone tip to my entrance.

My pussy is so slick, it takes almost no pressure to slide inside. My walls clamp down around it as I breathe a sigh, settling further into my mattress.

My eyes flutter closed, and as I work the vibe in and out, the mental image of Rafael hovering over me, his dick buried deep inside me, has my eyes snapping open. “No,” I practically growl into my empty room, desperate for him not to invade this part of my life too.

I huff out another breath, settling back and picturing Leo instead. Except in this fantasy, when my breaths are coming out rapidly and I’m holding back a scream of pleasure, it’s not Leo’s voice that fills my ears. Rafael’s stubble scrapes along my jaw, his warm breath coasting over my ear as an imaginary version of him rumbles, “You like that, Elise? Can you come like this?”

A frustrated groan leaves my lips, and my hand pumps the vibrator more vigorously, hoping to fuck away the mental image of that man, or at least to find my orgasm before he can make another appearance.

Just before I’m about to climax, my toes curling and my core clenching,there he is again.Rafael’s corded arms frame my body, his thick dick spearing inside me as those onyx eyes sear into mine, nearly bringing me over the edge before I can stop it. I sit up, pulling the vibe out and throwing it across the room before I can come.

It hits the door with a loudthwackas I let out a frustrated scream. “Motherfucker!”

Chelsea bursts through the door, her eyes wide and the strands of blue hair framing her face plastered over her forehead. “What the fuck?!” she yells at me.

I collapse back onto the bed, my hands fisted at my side, and thankfully, my duvet stays put, keeping my lady bits covered.

Chelsea’s eyes rove over me and down to the black dong, still vibrating at her feet. Her mouth splits into a grin, and we can’t hold back the laughter that takes over.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16

As much asI appreciate my team for supporting me and my brother by participating in this fundraiser every year, it dredges up so many horrific memories and puts me in the worst headspace possible.

It’s two weeks away and I’m already in a shit mood. I can’t imagine anyone will want me around by the time the event starts, not that I could blame them.

None of it should matter because I have a job to do, and hopefully, pouring myself into that will be enough to keep me busy and the time will fly by.Unlikely.

Mrs. Purrito jumps up on the couch, swiping her little grey-and-white paw over mycortadito, nearly knocking it off of the armrest.

I grab for it before it can topple over, but of course, four little hairs are now floating in the foamy surface. “You’re a freaking terror,” I grumble, standing and heading to the kitchen to pour the coffee down the drain.

She jumps off the couch, meeting me by the sink and rubbing her long, chubby body against my ankles. I roll my eyes at her, grabbing a can of wet food from the cabinet, dishing some out into her tiny pink ceramic bowl, and setting it on the ground for her.

She purrs loudly, as her name would suggest, and decidedly, I’ve become another forgotten relic now that her salmon is in the picture. “Traitor,” I whisper, grabbing my duffel bag from the hook by the door and heading out for practice.

By the time practice is over, I’m beat, but my shower will have to wait because the Blaze are already out here warming up. Jelani bumps into my shoulder and shifts to walk backward toward the locker rooms. A broad smile stretches across his face, dark eyes meeting my own. “What’s up, Hazzel?” I ask.

“Just checking in on you, man. It’s getting hot out here, and with the way you’ve got your eyes stuck to Coach’s daughter, I wanted to make sure you weren’t getting overheated,” he says, his grin shifting to a smirk.

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