Page 171 of Banter & Blushes

I loved a good karaoke night.

I finally spotted Flynn at a round high-top table in the corner with our Edge teammates, Xavier Schwann and Trask Emerson, and his bestie from when he played in Boston, Taz Houlihan. I’d known Taz since he was a teenager. He grew up in Palmer City, and his sister was the assistant trainer for the Voltage. Taz was one of those kids we called an “ice rat”—if he could’ve lived at the rink, he would have.

Flynn, ever stoic, wore an expression that was hard to read. But from the way the other guys were leaning in, I surmised whatever they were talking about was important.

Maybe I could help.

I beelined for the table, and when I reached earshot, I heard him loud and clear. I had no doubt he was talking about the big commitment he was about to make.

“But how do Iknowit’s going to work?” He looked up just then, and our eyes locked. He paled, probably thinking about my divorce. His relationship with Meggie had begun when they were teenagers, just like mine and Viki’s.

So given my history, I had a unique perspective the other guys at the table didn’t.

I pulled an unoccupied stool from a neighboring table and joined them, folding my arms on the tabletop before I spoke. “You can’t ever know for sure. But what youcando is listen. Check in—often. Not just ask if she’s good. She’ll always say yes. Get the details, and let her talk all of them out of her. Then ask if she wants advice or help. Don’t offer it without asking first. And be affectionate. Hug often. Make her morning coffee when you’re home. Add whipped cream and sprinkles for flourish. Find other ways to constantly show her she’s your world.”

“And if I do all that and she still wants to leave me?” Flynn rubbed the back of his neck. “Wait … did you do all those things?”

I shook my head and thought for a minute before I responded so I could form my racing thoughts into something constructive and helpful. “I was young. I did everything I could think of at the time. Ultimately, it wasn’t enough because you can never control everything ... especially another person. When she told me she didn’t love me anymore, I knew I would never be able to fix that, no matter how much effort I put in or how much I tried to change. I’m a lot. I’ll never stop learning and growing to be the best man I can be, but I can’t change the core of who I am. I strive to be better today than I was yesterday, and that’s all I can do.” I lifted my chin so I could lock eyes with him. “I assumed she’d always be there, because she always was. And when she said she was fine, I assumed she was telling the truth. If you ever hear Meggie say she’s ‘fine,’ always assume the opposite.”

“You know what they say about assuming,” Taz interjected. “The first three letters make an—ow!” Xavier cut him off with an elbow to his bicep.

I smirked. “It’s true. Never assume. Instead of worrying and wondering, takeaction. Communicate. Meggie is leaving her home and her veterinary assistant job for you. She’s put off her dream of becoming a vet herself so she can support your dream. That’s a lot for you to carry on your shoulders. I get that. She may regret her choices at some point, like Viki did, but that isn’t anything you can control. What youcancontrol are your words and actions. Making her feel valued, showing your gratitude, and showing up for her.”

“Do you wish you had done more of that?” Flynn asked. “If you had, do you think you’d still be together?”

I still felt bad for not being what Viki needed, but I knew in my heart our separation was better for both of us. “Not anymore,” I confessed honestly. “After she filed for divorce, for the longest time I wished I had. But it wouldn’t have helped. We wanted different things, and by that point, neither of us were willing to give something up for the other. We thought we were each other’s person at the time, but then we grew up and realized we weren’t right for each other. In retrospect, we probably never would’ve gotten together in the first place if I hadn’t been living in her house. And then I met Arwyn, and it was different. That woman saw the worst of me before she saw the best of me, and she gave me a chance. I’ll never take her love for granted. It’s a work in progress, but it’s growing every day. She’s my forever.”

“The forced proximity trope,” Jason Dexter, our goalie, said from behind me. “Twice.”

All our heads turned to stare at him.

“What? I’m well-read. Y’all know that.”

We exchanged a round of cheerful chirps, aimed at Jason and his confession that he read romance novels.

“Don’t judge.” He elbowed me. “I know about you reading the Anne of Green Gables series.”

“With mydaughters,”I retorted.

“Mm-hmm. Sure.” He took a sip of the water bottle he’d brought with him. “And if Arwyn asked you to read them just because?”

My cheeks heated. I was glad for my ginger beard. “Yeah. I’d read them.”

“And would you have read them for Viki?” Jason pushed.

I shook my head. “Unlikely.”

“Exactly my point. You”—he pointed to Trask—“went hard chirping at me reading Lauren’s favorite book when we were dating. That book was key to me getting a second chance when I blew it with her. And yet here y’all are, chirping me again now for taking an interest in my wife’s interests. And I couldn’t care less.” He turned to Flynn. “If Meggie asked you to spend a weekend watching Hallmark Christmas movies, would you?”

“Heck yeah,” he said.

“Point made.” Jason grinned.

“Unfair ask,” I insisted. “Bro’s from a tiny town in Vermont. He grew up in a Hallmark Christmas movie.”

Jason sighed heavily, like my comment wasn’t worth responding to. I grinned at him.

“Let me try,” Trask said. “Kami’s got her PhD in environmental science. She was finishing it when she met me, and then she planned to move back to her family’s bee farm in the South Carolina Lowcountry and start a career as a research scientist testing and analyzing swampy dirt. She put that on hold. For me. Because we talked about it. The career of a professional athlete isn’t very long. We all know there are expiration dates on our bodies playing such a physical sport. I’ll retire before I’m forty, and she can have a long career after that. And right now, she’s happy being a hockey mom to our kids. They’re growing so fast, and she’s there for every minute of it. You can’t ever get that time back. If she was traveling around the world sampling dirt, she’d miss a lot of it.”

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