Page 37 of Banter & Blushes

“Because they weregood, okay?!" I snapped, defensively. "I’m not saying he’s not... charming. He is. He’s way too charming. But this is exactly why I need to pull back.”

There was silence on the other end. Then Maya sighed again, the kind of sigh that only best friends give when they’ve already heard everything and know you’re going to do what you want to do anyway. “Fine. Just don’t come crying to me when you regret your decisions, okay?”

“I won’t cry!” I said, crossing my fingers behind my back like that somehow made me more convincing.

I hung up before she could dive into her usual lecture about how I shouldn’t overthink, reminding me that my thoughts were often driven more by past wounds and traumas than by logic. Deep down, I knew she was right. I could feel my mind slipping into survival mode, reacting to the unknown, to something I’d promised myself I wouldn’t hope for anymore.

I inwardly chastised myself. IlikedLuca. And the more I tried to fight it, themore I felt like I was going to lose the battle. So, I was going to put an end to it—before it got too serious.

This was for the best.

I foundhim in the lobby of the hotel, a place we’d passed through so many times, and yet it felt different now. My heart raced a little, my palms felt clammy, and I couldn’t decide if it was because I was about to drop the metaphorical bombshell on him or if it was because... well, because he was Luca.

I spotted him leaning against the counter, chatting with the front desk clerk. He looked soeffortlessly at ease, as always, like he was born to stand in the middle of a hotel lobby and be adorable. And that, of course, made me immediately want to slap my own face for being so damn obvious.

I walked up to him, trying to appear calm and collected. “Hey,” I said, and he looked up, immediately giving me one of those warm smiles of his.

“Hey, Becky. What’s up?”

Becky…

As if we’ve known each other forever.

I opened my mouth to speak, but then, of course, my brain short-circuited again. “Uh... nothing much. Just, uh, needed to talk to you about something.”

He straightened up, his posture shifting to something more serious. “Sure, what’s up?”

I swallowed.Okay, deep breath. You’ve got this, Rebecca. You’re the one in control here.

“Well,” I began, trying to sound as casual as possible, “I think we need to stop hanging out like this.”

I immediately regretted it.

His eyebrows shot up, and I could see the confusion hit him like a freight train. “What? Stop hanging out?” He blinked, looking from me to the floor and back. “Wait... what do you mean? Like, stoptalking?”

I panicked. “No! No, not stop talking—just... stop... whatever this is. Between us. It’s... it’s not a good idea.”

I wasnotdoing well at this.

Luca looked genuinely stumped, like I’d thrown a wrench in his perfectly calm day. “What do you mean, ‘not a good idea’? I—Rebecca, I’m... confused. I thought we were having fun. Is this about the food tour? Was that... weird for you?”

“No! It’s not the food tour!” I blurted out.Oh! Just let the floor swallow me up already.“It’s just...us. I don’t think we should keep spending time together. It’s... I’m too old for you, Luca. And you deserve someone who is... I don’t know, more your speed. And I’m not looking for anything... complicated.”

“Complicated?” He echoed, looking even more confused. “Rebecca, I—what’s complicated? I’m just... I don’t know, I thought we were having a good time. Weget along. You’re... I don’t know, you’re smart and funny and, I mean, the lasagna taco thing was astretch, but still, we had fun, right?”

I opened my mouth to say something, but the words weren’t coming out right.This wasn’t how I’d imagined it in my head.I had this whole thing prepared about being too old for him, about him having a future ahead of him that I wasn’t a part of. But all I could think about was how his eyes were just... looking at me. Looking at me like I was the only person in the room. And that did not help me in this situation.

I shook my head and laughed nervously. “You’re making this harder, Luca.”

He stepped closer, and I could feel my breath catch in my throat.God, why did he have to smell so good?

“I don’t get it,” he said softly. “If this is really about age or whatever, then... I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not looking for some ‘perfect’ situation. I just like you, Rebecca. You. That’s all.”

I took a step back, heart thundering, but my mind screaming for some clarity. “Luca, please...”

He held up his hands, like he was trying to understand. “Please what?”

And there it was. The tension. The palpable, thick, uncomfortable tension that we had somehow created. And I knew, deep down, that even though I was trying to pull away... part of me didn’t want to. Not really.

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