Page 47 of Banter & Blushes

The second I said it, I could feel the wall of self-doubt crashing down again, pounding through my chest.Not ready. Not enough. Too much baggage.I couldn’t help it. It was like I was suffocating under the weight of my own thoughts.

He stepped closer, his hand brushing the side of my face, his touch gentle and warm, like he was grounding me in a way I couldn’t explain. "Rebecca… none of that matters to me. None of it." His thumb wiped away a stray tear that had escaped, and my breath hitched. "What matters is that you’re here. With me.Thisis what matters."

I shook my head. "You don’t understand, Luca. I’mtoomuch. I don’t even know what I want half the time, and the rest of the time, I’m too scared of making the wrong choice."

He stared at me, his eyes intense, and for a moment, I felt like he was seeing right through me, like he could hear everything I wasn’t saying, everything I was too afraid to admit. He didn’t pull away. He didn’t look at me like I was crazy or difficult. He just kept looking at me with that deep intensity, like I was the only thing in the world.

"Rebecca," he said quietly, almost a whisper. "You’remore thanenough."

I let out a dry laugh, but it wasn’t funny. I was starting to feel overwhelmed, the storm inside my head building into something I couldn’t contain.This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to feel like this. This can’t be real.

He must have seen it in my eyes—the hesitation, the conflict. And then, without warning, he cupped my face in his hands, leaned down, and pressedhis lips to mine.

It was nothing like I could ever imagine. This wasn’t tentative or unsure. This wasurgentanddesperatein a way that shocked me to my core.

At first, I stood there, frozen, trying to make sense of everything that was happening. But the moment his lips moved against mine, all the noise in my headstopped. All the worry, the fear, the self-doubt—it was gone, drowned out by the force of his kiss.

It was like a floodgate opened, and everything I’d been trying to bury—every bit of desire, of need, ofwant—came rushing to the surface. My breath caught in my throat as I finally let myself sink into the kiss, my hands reaching up to touch him, my heart racing in ways I couldn’t control.

I could feel the rain starting again, heavier this time, but it didn’t matter. My chest was on fire, my thoughts spinning so fast I couldn’t catch them. I should’ve pulled away, told him this was all crazy, that I couldn’t do this.

But I didn’t.

I kissed him back.

And for that one perfect moment, everything else faded away. There was no age gap, no messy feelings, no doubts. There was just him and me, and for once, I didn’t feel soalone.

When we finally pulled apart, both of us breathless, I could barely look at him. My cheeks were burning, and I didn’t know what to say. I was still fighting it all—fighting my own mind, my own heart.

But Luca, always so perceptive, reached out for me again, his hand resting gently on my shoulder.

"Rebecca," he said, his voice calm but full of conviction, "I don’t care about your past. I care about you. All of you. And I’m not going anywhere."

His words hit me like a ton of bricks, and I could feel the tears threatening to come back, but I swallowed them down. I wasn’t sure what was real anymore, what wasn’t. But I couldn’t deny what was standing right in front of me.

As the rain poured down and the world seemed to vanish, I finally admitted something—I couldn’t keep running from this.

I just didn’t know if I was ready to let myself be found.

A STEP BACK AND A STEP FORWARD

REBECCA

It felt like I was in a fog, stumbling through each step, trying to keep my emotions from spiraling out of control. But Luca was there, his presence steady and grounding. He didn’t let me go, didn’t pull away, and that in itself was somehow both comforting and terrifying.

We walked through the rain together, side by side, my arm occasionally brushing against his as we firmly held hands. I could still feel the phantom warmth of his lips on mine from that kiss, a lingering spark under my skin.

Luca’s presence was making it harder and harder to ignore what we shared in the rain.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, glancing down at me as we reached the hotel entrance. His hand now rested gently on my shoulder, like he was afraid I might break into a million pieces if he touched me too hard.

"Yeah," I lied, trying to brush away the jumble of emotions flooding through me. "Just... just trying to keep it together."

He nodded, his expression serious but filled with understanding. "You don’t have to keep it together, Rebecca. Not for me. You’re allowed to be messy. I promise, I can handle it."

I looked up at him, his eyes dark with sincerity. For a moment, everything felt like it might actually be okay. But that was before we stepped into the hotel lobby.

The moment we walked through the automatic doors, I immediatelyfelt the shift in the atmosphere. It was subtle, but I could feel the judgment, the eyes on us. It wasn’t unusual, really, since Luca and I must’ve looked like an odd pair. But I didn’t expect the receptionist to make it so painfully obvious.

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