Page 61 of Own

At some point, I must have just crashed entirely because I slept deeper than I had in a while. There were only a couple of nights I could think of in recent weeks that I’d slept like that. They all involved multiple orgasms.

Probably something to that. Smothering a giggle at the thought, I made myself roll over and get up. Oh, I was definitely walking funny. Another giggle escaped me as I got the water going and slid into the shower.

Thankfully, the apartment was well stocked with good bath products and one of my favorites for hair care. The bath the night before along with the wine and the food had been decadent. The near boiling hot shower while working good product through my hair and combing out the snarls while also smoothing out frizz? That was hedonistic.

I took my time. Washing, buffing, and exfoliating in turns. I would need a laser appointment soon. That little nugget gave me pause. When was I going to get to a laser appointment?

It made me look at my nails. They weren’t painted. They weren’t even that long anymore. I’d broken nearly all of them at one point or another. Filing to keep them neat and somewhat rounded was the best I could do.

Glancing down at my toes, I wiggled them. The paint had all chipped away there as well. When would I find myself in a salon of any kind? My life had gone sideways. When I finished showering, I wiped away the steam from the mirror and studied myself.

Did I look different? I definitely felt different, but could they see those changes or was it just in my head? When my gaze dipped to the little trail of kiss-marked bruises on my neck, I blinked. He’d formed a heart out of hickeys.

I didn’t know whether to be delighted at the creativity or smack him in the head. Maybe both. I took the time to towel off and to squeeze the excess water from my hair. Bless Rachel, she even had lotions in here and moisturizer. It just felt nice to pamper myself a little.

Once I was dressed in yoga pants, a tank top, and thick socks, I shrugged on a hoodie. Another question for the guys, how did they keep restocking me on clothes. We lost clothes, we found clothes, but they always seemed to have new ones. Clean underwear too. The panties were plain cotton and so was the bra, which was just fine.

The sky had lightened while I lingered in the shower. The scent of coffee hit me as soon as I opened the bedroom door. I followed the siren scent straight toward the kitchen. Two of the other bedroom doors were closed. I really wasn’t sure how many bedrooms she had.

One of the rooms had been set up as a dark room and another as an office. It really was quite the lush space here. Just as I got to the swinging door to the kitchen voices drifted out.

“She’s not ready…”

I froze. Those words came through clearly.

“Get her out.”

Their voices. Low. Serious. Like they were planning a war. Like I was the prize they had to carry out. Hadn’t we already discussed this?

“She just has to live through it.”

Bones’ flat delivery made me ache. I thought we’d moved past this. I thought…

She just has to live through it.

Curling my fingers into my palm, I closed my eyes. It hurt. There was no escaping that fact. Them having this discussion about me, without me, and making decisions like shuttling me off—hurt.

Blowing up wasn’t going to win me any battles. While Bones didn’t always explain, they often had plans and “reasons” for the choices they made. Hadn’t I already learned that?

Still pain washed through me, because trust had to go both ways. Sending me away—to where? With who? Shouldn’t that be my call?

My pulse climbed, growing louder as it thudded in my ears. Breathing was harder and my hands shook. Backing up, I kept my eyes closed as I forced myself to breathe.

C’mon—you have to breathe. If we don’t breathe, we won’t get answers. They’ll have some rational explanation. Just have to go in and get it.

Bit by bit, I regained some semblance of control.

They don’t want to hurt me. They don’t want me to hurt at all. This isn’t about keeping me. They care. Maybe too damn much.

Maybe that was what hurt the most. We had a deal.

I thought we had one.

“She’ll forgive us.”

I almost snorted. Bones sounded absolutely certain.

“You think so?” At least Legend hadn’t gone totally over to their side on this.

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