Page 10 of When It Burns

“Yeah, we do. Listen, I’m an asshole. I don’t mean to be. I totally deserve everyone hating me because I never should have talked to you the way I did. I was wrong. But I have a problem with fire safety. I have to feel like everything is exactly right at all times. It’s been that way since the night—” Theo trails off for a minute like he’s lost in thought before he picks back up. “Anyway, I am not good with people in situations like this. I snap and I say the wrong thing. I really don’t deserve your forgiveness but if you could forgive me anyway I’d really appreciate it.”

I fight the urge to touch him, rubbing my hand up and down my shoulder. “I get it. And while I don’t condone being rude, I understand that you had, and still have, a lot on your plate. It would be hard for anyone to fill Huey’s shoes, and with the added pressure now I don’t envy you at all,” I say with a smile. I don’t mean to be as flirty as I feel, but it’s clear my body is craving the new fire chief. I have never been very forward with men before, but I also haven’t been super attracted to anyone in Springside. I dated casually when I was in college, but I never felt an instant attraction.

He gives me a shy smile, but I can tell he doesn’t quite know how to respond to me. Part of me can’t blame him considering how almost all of Springside indirectly hates him because of me. He turns back to the grill, flipping the steaks as we stand in a slightly uncomfortable silence.

“So, you coach cheerleading at the high school?” Theo asks as he stares straight ahead. I am quickly realizing that Theo isn’t uncomfortable around me; he’s uncomfortable with how he treated me yesterday.

“Yeah, I do. I started cheering when I was six, and honestly, I never wanted to quit,” I respond, standing next to him in the dark.

“That’s cool,” Theo says, “I don’t know much about cheerleading, but Will mentioned that you and Hannah are really talented coaches.”

“Thanks. Did you play a bunch of sports growing up?” I ask him, trying to ease the tension.

He winces a bit before saying, “For a bit.” It’s obvious that he doesn’t want to continue the current line of conversation so I stand there awkwardly.

“So…” I start as he says, “Well…” We laugh and it seems to ease the tension momentarily.

“I am normally not quite this awkward,” I say with a laugh as some of the hair I’d pulled to one side falls into my face. The Alabama humidity and I are not friends. Just as I raise my hand to brush it out of my face, Theo’s large hand runs from the top of my head and brushes the stray hair out of my face. I feel a jolt of electricity run through my body, and I swear I’ve never felt so alive. It’s an innocent touch, but it feels more sensual than some of the one-night stands I had in college. I have never thought of myself as a sexual person, but after less than five minutes in Theo’s presence, I am beginning to wonder if I don’t know myself as well as I thought I did.

Theo looks as if he is a bit taken aback by his own actions, and quickly grabs the tongs beside the grill. He busies himself with flipping the steaks again as I try to make myself stop fidgeting.

“So,what do you like to do Miss Tyler? You know other than cheerleading and witnessing me making a total ass out of myself?” he asks, and I let out a small giggle of laughter.

“Well, Chief Johnson, I read a whole lot of smutty romance novels and I drink a ton of wine. Other than that, I spend most of my time at school or helping Hannah with her farm,” I respond before taking a sip of my wine.

“So you and Hannah are pretty close, huh? Does your family live in Springside?” he asks.

“Nope, they moved out of the country when I graduated high school. My parents are both just free spirits. So Han’s pretty much all I have.”

Theo nods and opens his mouth to say something, but he’s interrupted by Margaret sticking her head out of the door.

“Caroline?” she yells, squinting her eyes into the darkness.

“Yes,” I shout and step towards the door so she can see me.

“Sorry but Will and Hannah are arguing, and I am not sure what to do. Are they always like this?” she asks.

Laughing, I respond, “Welcome to my world. They’ve been like this since middle school. It can get brutal, but they’re harmless. I am coming to save you though.”

“Sounds good!” Margaret calls back and closes the door.

“Okay, well I am gonna go check on those hooligans inside,” I say with a laugh.

As I go to make my way inside, Theo grabs my hand, catching me off guard. His eyes seem to hold a world of chaos, but I smile at him because I feel the same way. “I really am sorry Caroline; you didn’t deserve to be talked to the way I yelled at you yesterday. I am truly mortified by the way I treated you in front of those kids.”

I start to reply, “It’s fi-,” but Theo stops me.

“I swear to God, Caroline, it’s not. But I promise I am going to make it up to you. Margaret already loves you, and the last thing I want is to mess that up for her. So I am hoping we can be friends,” he says, and I can feel the sincerity in his voice.

“Okay Theo, I am not going to argue with you. And I am so excited to have Margaret here in town. People our age never move to Springside. As for us, I look forward to seeing how friendly you can be,” I say with a wink as I make my way inside. I don’t know what’s going on between us or what just came over me, but I wasn’t lying when I said I was looking forward to seeing where it goes.

CHAPTER NINE

THEO

As I watch Caroline walk away from me into the ranch house, I can’t help but wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. As she stood out here keeping me company after the way I treated her yesterday, I got furious. Not at her, but at myself. I realize I am a broken man. I’ve come to terms with the fact that women like Caroline and men like me—actually, just me—are never going to be more than friends. Unfortunately, I can’t even seem to make it into the friendship zone without wanting what I can’t have.

In my line of work, having trauma isn’t unusual, but we have to get good at hiding it. Some stations are more supportive of the mental health movement than others, but after my first captain screamed at me for having a panic attack one night after a particularly bad nightmare, I’ve done everything I could to hide my scars—both the physical ones and the ones that lived in my memories. Now that I am the Chief in Springside, I want to make sure that no one under me is ever treated the way I was, but it’s a little late for me, personally.

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