Page 14 of When It Burns

Will sighs and looks pissed and defeated. “There was an incident in Caroline’s room today. She’s fine but one of the kids that saw you yell at her went off on her. She was able to keep it from escalating, but it was bad. He cussed her out and refused to do anything she asked. Then he played a sex scene fromEuphoriaand refused to put his phone up. He threatened physical violence if anyone tried to do anything, and still didn’t comply with the resource officer. He sat there through all of first period and the office finally sent the rest of her classes to the library. It took the threat of handcuffs to get him out of his desk.”

As I listened to Will, I feel the blood draining from my face. The logical part of my brain knows that I didn’t tell this kid to disrespect Caroline, but I did model that behavior in a way when I yelled at her on Monday. I blow out a frustrated break as one of the other coaches asks what the school is going to do.

Will lets out a laugh that has no trace of humor in it. “Well our principal is big on second chances, and as much as I appreciate what he’s done for me, he’s on my shit list today. No one could get up with any of the student’s emergency contacts because all the numbers were disconnected. So he sat in the office all day, and he’ll have four days of out-of-school suspension. He’ll be back in her room by Thursday of next week.”

Shit. I want to punch something. Will must see the anger in my face because he amends. “Listen, man, it's not your fault. I can tell by the look on your face that you’re feeling guilty and ready to explode. I am feeling both of those things as well, but it's not gonna do us any good. At the very least, I can appreciate that you seem to care about Caroline. From a coaching standpoint, some of the boys are really fired up about it, and it's our job to try to calm them down today. Let them run drills and get some aggression out and then remind them that as frustrated as we might feel, any actions made in response to the events today will be severely punished. Caroline texted me that she had to talk a few of them down earlier today. We can’t have our whole team suspended for fighting before our first game.”

I nod, knowing he is right, but at the same time wanting nothing more than to fix this mess. I can’t help but think that this is the perfect example of why I need to stay away from Caroline. The logical part of my brain knows that this doesn’t have anything to do with me. I try repeating that thought to myself over and over, but it doesn’t do much good. Instead, it serves as a reminder that my brokenness is contagious, and I'll be damned if I break anything as perfect as Caroline Tyler.

* * *

After runningdrills for two hours in the sweltering Alabama heat, Will finally calls practice to an end. As the boys huddle up, they listen quietly.

“Remember that we have Meet the Saints tomorrow night in the gym. You will all be recognized and you need to wear your blue jersey and some jeans. Some of your parents have volunteered to help with decorating, and some of them will be selling shirts and programs to help us raise some money. If we make enough, we could possibly spend the night in a hotel for the away game in Huntsville at the end of the season,” Will announces to the team.

That announcement is met with a chorus of cheers and appreciative whoops. Wesley, the player who came to Caroline’s defense earlier in the week, speaks up, “Hey Coach Thompson, if we spend the night, will the cheerleaders stay too?” The team around him nods making it clear they were all thinking the same thing.

I can tell Will is trying not to laugh, but he manages to keep a straight face. “Well boys, y’all should already know the answer to that. I believe the cheerleaders are just as much a part of this team as any of us. They don’t miss a game, and they practice just as much as we do. With that being said, you knuckleheads don’t need to worry about that because you won’t be anywhere close to the girls. Y’all stay in enough trouble as it is. And speaking of trouble, I am going to say this once and only once. Please stay out of trouble. I know we all have tempers, and we don’t like watching people we care about being mistreated. That makes you good men, and I am proud to have you on my team. But South Springs School Board has a strict policy concerning physical altercations. In addition to out-of-school suspension, I am required to suspend you for at least one game if you are involved for any reason. We have a real chance at a state championship this year, and I need you all eligible to play. Do you understand?” he questions the team.

“Yes sir,” the boys chorus back.

“Okay, six-thirty tomorrow night, and come dressed. We will see you then,” Coach Thompson says as he dismisses practice.

The boys walk off muttering under their breath about a kid named Michael needing to get what is coming for him. I couldn’t help but agree with them, but since I feel like it was my fault Caroline was in this position, I decide to try to make it up to her instead.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CAROLINE

“Miss Caroline, are you okay?”

“Miss Tyler, what happened?”

“Oh my gosh, I cannot believe what a jerk Michael was to you this morning.”

I am bombarded with questions as I step into the gym for today's cheer practice. I lace up my tennis shoes, having decided to condition with the squad in an attempt to let off some of the aggression that’s built up since the showdown this morning. I am normally not a runner, but since going home and curling up in bed wasn’t an option today, I decided this was the next best thing.

“I am good,” I assure them, trying to force a smile. “We’re gonna condition for a bit today. Lace-up your shoes, and let’s go.”

We start off by stretching and then we go outside to do a few laps around the school. I’ve never been much of a runner, but I have to admit that it feels good to turn my brain off and focus on the sound of my feet hitting the pavement.

We run almost two miles in amicable silence until I call everyone back into the gym. Hannah despises conditioning, so she offered to work on arranging transportation to the games later this season while we were outside. I walk up to her, grabbing the water bottle I’d left on the bleachers while the girls all collapse in a heap on the mats we’d rolled out before our run.

“Hey, everything ready to go for the season?” I ask, sitting down on the bleachers beside her.

“Yes, I talked to the transportation department and they have us set up with Mark as the driver for the season. But enough about that. Are you okay? What the hell happened today? I wanted to come check on you, but I couldn’t get away. My kids came in talking about it, but I didn’t believe them.” Hannah’s mouth doesn’t seem to be able to keep up with the speed that questions are entering her brain.

“Ok, perfect. Thanks for taking care of that for us. I’m okay. It’s crazy though. That behavior seems really out of character for Michael. I really don’t know what to do. Mr. Hale suspended him for a week for defiance and inappropriate use of technology, but you know we can only do so much. I tried to call his parents after everything went down, but the number was disconnected,” I reply with an eye roll.

Hannah rolls her eyes and says, “Imagine that.” It has become a recurrent issue, especially in high school, that parents like to ignore calls from the school or give us faulty numbers. If I had to bet, at least half the phone numbers in the system were wrong or disconnected.

“Yeah, I just hope that I can figure out a way to handle it better next time. Maybe his behavior will correct itself, but if it doesn’t I’m not really sure what to do,” I say trying not to show how defeated I feel. After a few years in education, I’ve learned to try to only focus on the problems I have control over, but damn it’s tough. The longer I teach, the more I am reminded of the fact that I am not superwoman and I can’t save everyone as much as I wish I could.

Hannah gives me a sad smile because I know she understands. My best friend might be loud and over the top at times, but I have never seen anyone care more than she does. She is fiercely protective over the people she loves, and she’s also the biggest advocate for her students. I know she can tell by the look on my face that today hit me hard. “Brighter days ahead right?”

I smile at our saying and repeat “Brighter days ahead,” feeling a real smile touch my face for the first time all day. When Hannah’s parents left, she’d tried to act like she was unphased until one morning I found her on my doorstep crying. I’d let her in and sat with her while she cried, and we’d talked for hours. Finally, she finished crying and said, “But hey, brighter days ahead, right?” She told me that she needed the reminder that hard times don’t last forever, and she’d asked me to repeat it back to her when she needed perspective. Ever since, it had become a bit of a motto in our friendship and it always makes us smile.

“You ready to get this started?” I ask her, and she smiles at me with a nod.

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