Page 38 of When It Burns

“Good morning, Sunshine,” I reply while reaching up to rub my eyes. “What time is it?”

“A little after ten. I didn’t want to disturb you, but I got worried about Bear. If you want to go back to sleep, I will go check on him,” Caroline replies with a smile.

I blink back at her in shock. That can’t be right. I haven’t had a night without a nightmare since the fire. I’d worried that talking about the accident for the first time in fourteen years would leave me worse off, but right now I feel more well rested than I have in years. “Ten? Like in the morning? I didn’t think there was any way I would fall asleep. I’ll go check on him. I have some calls to make about the farm. But listen, Caroline-”

“You still mine, Cowboy? Or are you regretting everything that happened last night?” she asks, interrupting my internal freakout.

I take a breath before meeting her eyes. “I’m all yours, Caroline. For as long as you’ll keep me, I am all yours.”

She leans in and smiles at me before saying, “Good answer, Chief Johnson.”

I spend some time kissing her and trying to memorize the way her skin feels under my fingers before rolling out of bed to look for some clothes. “Bear already hates me. I’d better go before he decides to shred my mattress. But text me later. If we are gonna try this, I need to plan a real date for us.”

I had never been on a real date, especially with someone as perfect as her. However, I figured if I wasn’t sure I could keep her, I had to give it my best shot.

“Of course, let me know how your calls go. And thank you, Theo—for dancing with me, driving me home, and the multiple orgasms,” she responds with a laugh.

Shaking my head I mutter under my breath, “My pleasure, Sunshine.”

* * *

By Monday morning,I am walking into the fire station, but all I can think about is how desperate I am for more of Caroline’s touch. I had spent the afternoon on Saturday working on the farm, trying to make sure it was ready for a new set of animal inhabitants after spending half an hour on the phone with Mr. Willy. I’d stayed close to the phone in case I got called in for help at the station after the storms on Friday, but none ever came.

The man whom Huey had connected me with had been skeptical about talking to me at first, but after he realized I was interested in his animals, he seemed to have dropped his guard. He’d stopped by yesterday on his way home from church to look at the land and make sure he was comfortable with moving his animals to my property.

After ensuring that the animals would be well taken care of, we agreed on a price and he told me I could come get my new animals later this week. I was the new owner of four horses and about ten cows. It was a small farm, but it was a start.

After Mr. Willy left, I’d spent the afternoon working on the old barn behind the house and texting Caroline. She’d offered to come help me, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus on working with her here. As much as I would enjoy having her with me, I need the barn to be liveable. I’d set to work and been surprised at the sense of calm that had settled over me while I fixed broken boards and raked new hay into the stalls.

Since I lost my family, I have avoided anything that reminded me of what I lost, and that included the horses my parents loved so much. However, as I worked in the silence of the farm, I had to admit I was regretting that decision. The more I worked yesterday, the closer my family felt.

Despite the rough start I had in Springside, I can feel myself starting to heal. I didn’t think it was possible, but the last few weeks have brought me more peace than I could imagine. I still could feel the loss of my family like a gaping hole in my chest, but I was starting to realize that Margaret was right when she told me that none of our family would have wanted me to punish myself the way I have been.

On top of all of that, I hadn’t had a nightmare since the night Caroline and I spent together. After fourteen years of the recurrent nightmare, I never dreamed that I could sleep through the night. Without the nightly reminders, I was able to think a little more clearly.

As I sit down at my desk, my cell phone rings. I pull it out of my pocket and see that it's a call from Heather, my foster mom. I hit accept and lift the phone to my ear while saying, “Hello.”

“Hey, Sweetie. How are you?” Heather asks and I can hear the genuine concern in her voice.

I blow out a breath and run my hand over my face before responding, “I am actually really good. How are you and Bobby doing?”

“We are good! You know he is ready for football season to get going. He has added an extra screen to the game room so that he can have ESPN and CBS going at the same time. I swear that man thinks it's a sports bar in there,” Heather responds with a laugh. “We were actually talking about making a quick trip over to Springside soon to see you and your sister in the next few weeks. Would that be okay with you?”

I lean back in my chair before responding, “Yeah, that’s fine. I might have someone I want you to meet.”

Shit! Had I really said that out loud? Were Caroline and I really at the “meet the family” phase? Was this moving too fast? I am not cut out for this. It’s barely after seven in the morning, and I am in desperate need of a beer already.

Amidst my internal freakout, I hear Heather let out a small squeak, but other than that, there is complete silence on the phone. I am about to check the phone to make sure the call wasn’t lost until I hear a loud sob on the other end of the line. “Oh, Theo!”

I clear my throat, unsure of how to handle the sudden onset of emotions, deciding to sit quietly and hope she doesn’t acknowledge my previous statement.

“I am so happy Theo. I just know your momma is dancing in heaven. Callie loved you so much, and all she wanted was for you to find someone who complimented you. I know these last few years have been incredibly hard, but I can’t wait to meet the girl who’s mended your broken heart.”

Still unsure of how to respond, I breathe through the lump in my throat and settle with a, “Yes ma’am,” for my foster mother.

Thankfully, Heather is used to my aversion to emotional topics, and she quickly shifts to making small talk before telling me she’d let me know when they planned to visit and hang up.

With that taken care of, I sit down at my desk planning to get to work but decide to send Caroline a text first.

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