Page 33 of Searching for Sunshine

God, what the fuck is wrong with me?It’s not like I haven’t spent the night with a woman before. Sure, it’s been a few years since the dating pool in Crestbrook Cove isn’t exactly overflowing with options. I’ve even been on a couple of casual dates that turned into more for a night or two in the past. But none of them have ever affected me the way that Stella is right now.

“Uh, yeah, I see that,” she says, interrupting my thoughts, and I don’t miss the shy smile on her face when I realize I never finished my previous statement. She gestures to where Duke islying at her feet, but I was so wrapped up in the way she looked, I didn’t even notice the seventy-pound dog lying in the bed.Damn, I’m a hot fucking mess.

“Oh, right. Well, are you sure you’re okay with sharing a bed? I can walk up to the hotel and find a room if I need to,” I offer and she shakes her head quickly.

“No, no. I’m sure. This bed is plenty big enough for the both of us, and I think I might be too much of a scaredy cat to stay in the cottage by myself. Plus, it’s late, and there’s no reason you should have to make the walk in the dark. Unless you’d feel more comfortable in the Hideaway?” She hesitates, fidgeting nervously with the blanket she’s sitting on.

“Nope, I’m perfectly happy here,” I promise her, making my way over to the other side of the bed and pulling back the covers. As soon as I sit in the bed and pull the covers over my lap, I’m flooded with Stella’s scent, and I take a deep breath to remind myself one more time that we’re just friends.

Shit, I’m so fucking gone for this girl,I realize, looking over at her as she rubs Duke’s stomach.

Shaking my head to remind myself to behave, I ask her, “Did everything else go okay with the party tonight? It looked like they were having a great time.”

“It went really well. I think they had fun, and they’re really looking forward to going out on the boat tomorrow. I know it’s our first group, but is it crazy for me to think that this could really work? If we can just get our name out there, we could really get the Hideaway on the map.”

“It’s not crazy at all,” I tell her, fighting the urge to reach out and touch her. “You and Avery have worked so hard over the last few weeks, and I know you’re just getting started with everything the two of you can pull off here. I’m really proud of you, Stels.”

She looks at me, and she looks so vulnerable I feel like I’d do anything she asked me to at this moment. “Honestly? I’m proudof myself too. I feel like you may have figured it out by now, but I was diagnosed with anxiety in college after my parent’s divorce, and between losing my Memaw and my teaching career, on top of everything that was going on here, I was really worried I’d spiral. I know it probably sounds silly, but I’m starting to believe in myself again.”

“It’s not silly, Stels. You’ve been through a lot the last few months, but you’re making the most of it, and I think that’s fucking incredible.”

“Thanks, Wyatt. But let’s be honest, none of this would have been possible without you. If you hadn’t offered to marry me to pull this off, I wouldn’t have had a choice in any of this. The Hideaway would probably be rubble on the ground by now, and you were right that night in my car. I don’t think I ever would have forgiven myself. Between you and Avery, you two have helped me more than I ever could have imagined, and I’m just so damn grateful.”

“I have faith that you would’ve made it work without me, but I’m not sad that I get to be the one to do this with you,” I admit, before adding, “you know, I really missed you, Stels. I know you didn’t owe me anything, but I hated it when you stopped visiting. It may be a little unconventional, but I’m happy you're back in Crestbrook Cove.”

I catch a glimpse of her sad smile from the light of the candle by the bed and I force myself not to focus on how her mouth’s felt against mine during the few quick kisses we’ve shared. “I know. I missed you too. Honestly, I missed this town and this quirky hotel. It seems so silly now that I’ve spent some time here, but after my parents divorced, I put off coming back here for so long. By the time I worked through all of those emotions, I was teaching and working nonstop in Smith’s Valley, and I didn’t really have the time I needed to take care of myself, never mind driving down.”

“I get that. You don’t have to answer, but what exactly happened between your parents? I know I only saw them at the end of each summer when they came to stay for a few days, but I remember thinking they always seemed like they were obsessed with each other,” I say, hoping I’m not crossing a line by asking.

“Yeah, they were until they weren’t,” she says simply. I think that’s all she’s going to say before she continues. “Let me start by saying that my parents aren’t bad people. They met their freshman year in college and they were married five months after their first date. Then they had me before their first anniversary. Honestly, I think there were so many factors that went into it, but over time they just grew apart. They didn’t ever fight, they just stopped caring. They told me they were getting divorced the day after my high school graduation, and both of them were remarried and expecting babies with their new spouses before my twentieth birthday.”

She goes quiet for a second before she says, “They gave me a good childhood, and they haven’t ever been horrible to me or anything like that. But I think Memaw and I reminded them of their old lives when they were trying so hard to build these new families and there just wasn’t room for us in their lives anymore. There was no falling out, we both just realized we were the only ones putting in any effort into the relationship. And eventually, they both quit answering the phone when we called. So Memaw and I figured it was us against the world. But this place is where I remember all of us being together. In my head, it reminded me of everything I felt like I lost for a long time…and Memaw didn’t push me to come back.”

I push down the sudden anger and frustration I feel building in my chest as she talks, trying to figure out how in the world her parents could treat her this way. But I don’t want to upset her so I just reach for her hand in the dark and say, “God, Stels, I had no idea. I’m so sorry they treated you that way, but I hopeyou know they’re fucking idiots. And they’re the ones missing out on a relationship with their daughter who is caring and funny and sweet and…” I trail off, and she squeezes my hand in acknowledgment.

“Thank you, Wyatt. I’ve come to terms with it over the years. When Memaw started going downhill, I reached out to my dad and he didn’t even respond to my texts or voicemails. I understand starting over, but I can’t imagine not caring if my mom was given only a few months to live.”

“Fucking asshole,” I mutter, unable to help myself, and Stella giggles.

“Yeah, pretty much what I thought too. God, I’m sorry, Wyatt. I just totally trauma-dumped on you. You’re trapped in this bedroom with me because yours fucking flooded, and I can’t stop talking about my family shit,” she says, starting to pull her hand away from mine.

Unwilling to let her feel self-conscious about anything she just told me, I hold tighter to her hand and gently pull her arm so she has to slide closer to me. Once she’s close enough to touch, I wrap my arm around her and she leans her head against the side of my shoulder.

“Stella, you told me because I asked about it. And honestly, I’m glad you did. But I just hope that you know that this whole thing says way more about them and their character than it says about you.”

She laughs a little at that before she admits, “Yeah, that’s what Memaw used to tell me too. Granted her language was a little more…colorful, but you get the idea.”

“Imagine that?” I tease. “You know, your Memaw was one of the sweetest ladies I’ve ever met, and I really loved her. Yet, at the same time, I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone who could curse and throw insults around the way she did.”

“God, I know that’s the truth,” Stella agrees. I feel her shift a little closer so that her legs press against the side of mine. “I just hope I’m making her proud, you know? I know there are so many things I’m probably screwing up, but I just can’t bear the thought of disappointing her, even if she isn’t here anymore.”

“Stella, are you kidding? There’s no fucking way she wouldn’t be just as proud as I am of you. No matter what comes your way, you find a solution. Just think about the way the hotel’s already got more bookings than it did when you took over. I just need you to realize how fucking incredible you are,” I say, and she looks at me for a long moment before she leans up and kisses me hard.

CHAPTER 17

STELLA

Idon’t know what comes over me, but as I listen to Wyatt say all of these incredibly sweet things to me, my control finally snaps and I can’t keep myself from leaning over and kissing him.

---