Page 49 of Searching for Sunshine

“Well, that’s what we agreed on,” I say, trying not to think about how much I’m dreading everything with Stella coming to an end.

“Just think about it, man. I just don’t want you to get hurt if this doesn’t go the way you’ve planned.”

“Thanks. I’ll be okay,” I mutter, not sure if I’m trying to convince him or myself.

“Whatever you say. Either way, I guess we’ll figure it out. I’ve gotta run. I’ll see you tomorrow,” my brother says before hopping off his boat and heading down the pier, leaving me to finish cleaning the boats by myself.

I grab an extra cloth out of the glove box and start to wipe down the seats before I head in for the day. Usually, this part of my day is spent going through my to-do list for the next day’s charters, but today I can’t seem to stop thinking about Stella. My wife has consumed more and more of my thoughts over the last few weeks and I’m starting to feel like a man obsessed.

I try not to let myself think too hard about what my brother said, but I can’t stop myself from replaying his words in my head. It’s hard to believe how much has changed over the last few months since Stella and I exchanged vows on this dock. I have to admit that with each day that passes, it feels more and more impossible to walk away from her at the end of the year.

I spend a moment trying to picture letting her go when the time comes, but instead, all I can think about is the happy little shimmy she does when she takes the first sip of her energy drink in the morning. I think about how beautiful she looks when she comes around my cock, and how she smiles each time Duke runs into our room at the end of the day and maneuvers his way between us to cuddle in bed. I think about how excited she gets each time the Hideaway gets a new booking or the hotel hits a new follower count on social media, and I know I’m completely gone for her.

Throughout all of this, no matter how hard I try, I can’t imagine signing divorce papers in ten months. No part of me can picture going back to my small apartment and telling myself that what Stella and I have doesn’t mean anything at the end of the year.

The longer I think about it, the more I realize I’m completely in love with Stella Hale.

Fuck. This isn’t how this was supposed to go, but as soon as the thought crosses my mind, I know it’s true. I’ve been falling for Stella since the first day she walked back into my life, and now I’m too invested to even imagine pulling away.

After spending most of my life not letting the people around me get too close, I should be terrified by how far I’ve allowed this to go. But I know that even if this all goes to shit, I’ll never regret falling for Stella. She brings out the best parts of me. All summer I’ve admired the way she took over the hotel that was sad and empty and filled it with love and excitement. The more I think about it, the more I realize she did the same thing for me. Truthfully, the only thing that scares me more than the thought of losing her is going back to the person I was before she came into my life.

Blinking, I realize I’ve spent the last ten minutes wiping down the same seat, lost in my thoughts. Shaking my head, Itry to clear my thoughts, but it’s useless. Now that I’ve come to terms with how I really feel about Stella, all I can think about is convincing her to stay with me after this year is over.

A part of me knows that I shouldn’t rush into anything—I mean, after all, I have months to convince her before we have to make a decision. But I know there’s no way I can spend the rest of this year not knowing how she feels about me.

I take a breath and try to force myself to slow down, but it’s no use. I know this could go terribly wrong, but suddenly I can’t convince myself to wait. Throwing the barely used rag back in the glove box, I step off of the boat and head to my truck.

I guess now’s as good of a time as any to tell my wife I’m in love with her.

CHAPTER 23

STELLA

“Thank you so much for coming. We hope you enjoyed your stay,” I tell the couple checking out, as I hand them their final bill.

“Oh, yes. Everything was wonderful. We’ve already booked our stay for next year,” the wife gushes, and I feel a swell of pride rise inside of me at how well the hotel’s doing.

“I’m so happy to hear that. We look forward to seeing you again soon. Be safe traveling,” I say, sitting down behind the counter as they make their way outside.

Today has been one of the longest days I’ve had since I started at the hotel. A bingo tournament pulled most of our volunteers away for the day, which left Avery and me to run everything. Thankfully I was able to get one of the housekeepers we recently hired to come in and turn over the rooms, but Avery and I have filled all the other responsibilities on our own. On top of that, I didn’t manage to get much sleep last night—my mind was too consumed with the revelation that I’m actually in love with my husband—and my body is feeling it today.

I reach down and check the time on my phone, sighing in relief when I see it’s almost seven. Chloe agreed to take the evening shift for me tonight, and she just sent me a text thatshe’s on her way. All I can think about is how much I’m looking forward to eating dinner and taking a shower when Wyatt pushes into the lobby.

“Oh, hey,” I say, smiling at him as he makes his way over.

“Hey, Stels. Are you almost done here?”

“Yeah, I’ll be good to go as soon as Chloe gets here. Everything okay?”

“Oh, everything’s fine. I just wanted to talk to you about something. But it’s no big deal. I’ll wait for you at the cottage,” he says, and I notice he’s fidgeting with his wedding band.

“Are you sure everything’s okay? You seem nervous about something.”

His eyes widen and he shakes his head. “Nope, I’m good. I’ll see you at home in a few.”

“Okay,” I say, still trying to figure out what’s gotten into him. “I’ll see you then.”

He leaves, and I spend the next few minutes wracking my brain for what he could want to talk to me about. I thought that everything was going so well between us, and he seemed happy spending time with me, but a wave of anxiety rolls through me at the thought of him deciding to end things between us.

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