Page 34 of A New Chapter in Rosewood Beach

She had decided that tonight was the night when she was going to bring up her concerns about marriage to Ryan. Part of her was eager to get the conversation over with, but the rest of her kept trying to come up with excuses for postponing the conversation.

Talking with her family about the whole thing had helped her a great deal. She felt less as though the conversation she was about to have with her boyfriend would definitely end their relationship if he told her that he was determined not to marry. She knew that it was reasonable for her to want that kind of future with someone, and that her caring, considerate boyfriend would most likely be willing to consider it for her sake.

At least I hope so,she thought, tapping her feet on the porch as if she thought that would help her muster the courage to stand up.I would take a “maybe.” I’m just so scared of getting a definite “no.”

She glanced at her watch and stood up. She had arranged to meet Ryan at the gazebo in the town square in just twenty minutes, and she would need to start walking if she wanted to be there on time.

She was wearing a yellow sundress and a floral headband paired with white sandals. She had put her outfit together carefully, wanting to look her best for the conversation. In the back of her mind had been the fear that this could be her last conversation with Ryan, and that they were about to break up.

She shook her head at herself, reminding herself that she had chosen such a cheerful-looking outfit on purpose, as a way of helping herself have a more optimistic outlook about the whole thing. Even though she was afraid, she was determined to stop spiraling, and to take a more positive view of the situation.

For as long as I can, anyway,she thought, and then scolded herself again for being pessimistic.I’ll know soon enough what he’s going to say. I just need to stay positive. Try to think about something else.

As soon as she let her mind wander toward things other than the upcoming conversation, however, she began to think about planning a wedding with Ryan, and marrying him, and picking out a house together?—

She bit her lip and shook her head. She loved him, and she wanted those things with him, but just as much as she didn’t want to be too pessimistic, she didn’t want to be too optimistic, either. She needed to keep a level head.

She reached the gazebo, where it was cool and fragrant because of the surrounding gardens. A luscious evening breeze was wafting across the town square, ruffling the heads of the flowers and the leaves of the trees and gently kissing her cheeks.

She looked around for Ryan, even though she was a few minutes early. He was nowhere in sight, so she busied herself with watching the people of Rosewood Beach as they walkedaround the center of town. From her perch in the town square’s park, she could see various coffee shops and gift stores, still bustling with customers because of their extended summer hours. Everyone seemed energetic and happy, and she could hear children shouting gleefully in the distance.

It’s such a beautiful night,she thought, her heart aching a little. I wonder what this night is going to mean to me—for the rest of my life?

Would it be the night she lost Ryan, or would it be a beautiful night that she remembered forever as opening up a door onto the future of her dreams?

She thought through what she wanted to say to him, and how she wanted to say it. It was time to lay her concerns on the table in a way that was kind and loving, but also left no room for doubt. She knew what kind of future she wanted, and she was determined to clearly express that to Ryan.

“Can I sit next to you, pretty lady?”

She looked up, startled, and saw Ryan standing in the doorway of the gazebo. She laughed breathlessly and stood up to hug him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” He laughed. “I figured you heard me coming.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I’m just distracted.” She forced a smile, but she realized that she was trembling.

Ryan, who had his arms around her, realized it too. “Faith,” he said with concern, “what’s wrong?”

Her lips parted, but no sound came out for a few seconds. “Let’s sit down,” she got out finally. “There’s something I want to talk with you about.”

He nodded, frowning in worry. He took her hands and sat down next to her on one of the gazebo’s benches. “Why do you seem so anxious, sweetheart? You know you can talk with me about anything.”

Faith offered him a watery smile. “I know, I—I’ve just been so worried about what you’re going to say.”

His eyes widened. “Faith, now you’re making me anxious. What happened?”

She laughed a little. “Sorry, you’re right. I need to get to the point. It’s not that something happened—it’s something you said.”

Ryan frowned, confused, and she kept talking, not wanting to keep him in suspense.

“Do you remember when I dropped off lunch for you? You made an offhand comment about never picturing yourself being married. And it got me thinking—truth be told, it got me overthinking. It made me wonder what your views on marriage are.”

She took a deep breath as she continued. “Because I want to get married someday. It’s really important to me. And I want to stay in a relationship with you, but it’s not something I can do if marriage is definitely off the table for us. I want a future with you, Ryan. I know we’re still just starting to get to know each other and that we can’t plan a future yet, but I can’t help imagining being married to you and even having a family with you someday.”

She forced herself to speak slowly and calmly, even though her heart was pounding.

Ryan listened carefully, looking surprised, but he didn’t try to interrupt. Finally, when she’d paused for more than a few seconds, he took her into his arms.

“I’m so sorry for not recognizing that you were struggling with this,” he said, his voice low and gentle. “I’ve noticed you acting distant toward me lately, and I thought maybe it was something that I’d done, or that you were becoming disinterested in me.” He pulled back a little so that he could look into her eyes. “It’s true that there was a time when Icouldn’t imagine myself being married. I figured that I would stay a bachelor forever. I’d never met a woman that I could picture myself being married to.” He touched her cheek with his fingertips, brushing away a couple of tears that until that moment she hadn’t realized she’d cried. “But meeting you changed that for me. I’ve never met anyone like you before, Faith. You’ve opened up my heart to new possibilities. I could absolutely picture myself marrying you.”

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