Page 21 of Forever After Never

Me: Now I don’t quite remember, on account of being drunk, but I said to him something along the lines of “Please leave. All I wanted was a fuck, and you can’t even give me that.”

Alice: You ARE a bitch.

I video call Alice and discuss everything that happened last night, trying not to pay too much attention to the prick that put his hand up my skirt and more than enough attention to the Sawyer situation.

“Honestly, Autumn. What is wrong with you? You complain about not feeling love, but the first person that shows any interest in you, that you are clearly interested in too, brings out the ice queen in you.” I don’t appreciate the brutal honesty, even though she’s completely right. I have been horrid.

“I’m scared.” I huff out.

“Of him? or feelings?” she lets out a light chuckle.

“Maybe both. He is intense. Possibly the most intense man I have ever met in my life, and I am scared. Scared of potentially caring about someone. I’m very good at not doing that,” I start to say as Alice interjects.

“I know you’re scared. But I’ve also never seen you with heart eyes over someone that almost hit you with their car. Anyway, this doesn’t have to be some intense love affair. You know, itcansimply be about the sex if you want it to be. Although I get the feeling that Sawyer doesn’t do casual.”

“I get that feeling, too, but honestly, he is a very hard man to read. I’ll probably never see him again anyway after presenting my ass to him, acting like a bitch in heat.”

“Sounds as though you’ve met your match then.” She beams into the camera lens.

It has been four days since Sawyer walked out of my house. The embarrassment I feel has prevented me from calling or messaging him, and I feel horrifically guilty for being such a bitch to him. He is so strangely alluring, and I can’t stop thinking about himnotsleeping with me that night. I was giving it to him on a silver platter, and he was soreserved. Rejection of that kind should sting, but I know he wasn’t really rejectingme, but the idea of having sex with me when I was wasted. That makes him a million times more attractive.

God dammit, I have itsobad for this guy. What has happened to me? I haven’t thought about another guy in this way for years, possibly ever.

A few short weeks after meeting Sawyer, he’s what I’m thinking of when I wake up every single day.

Chapter 20

Autumn

It is now three weeks after my Sawyer encounter, and I still haven’t gathered up the courage to call or message him.

Work is slow today, but it is midweek, and Wednesdays are usually our quietest days. It is pleasantly warm outside this morning, and I am struggling to stay awake.

“Go and read for a while, honey. We’re okay here for a couple of hours. I would appreciate you hanging around, though, in case it gets busy over the lunch shift,” Edith says over my shoulder.

“Are you sure, Edith? I will grab a coffee and sit on one of the benches in the square. I won’t be far away. I’ll keep an eye on the door. If it gets busy, I’ll come straight back in.” I beam at her and silently thank her as if she could read my thoughts.

“You’re an angel, Autumn. Go enjoy that sunshine for a while. Besides, there is a familiar-looking guy walking past out there, so it’s perfect timing!” She winks at me.

Sawyer.

Without trying to make it obvious that I’ve sprinted through the square to reach him, I follow hot on his heels. “Sawyer,” I say in almost a whisper. I reach out to touch his arm, and he turns to look at me, his eyes narrowing slightly.Jeez, he looks amazing today. Jeans that perfectly wrap around his huge thighs, an old, grey, dirtied-up tee, trucker hat, and work boots. There is sweat on his forehead. It looks like he is in the middle of a workday, and I realize I don’t know what he does for work or much about him.

His arm muscles pull the cotton taught as he puts his hands in his jeans pockets. He doesn’t even mean to be hot, but he should be illegal. He looks pissed. Again.

“Autumn,” he says, glowering at me. Then, with a firm nod of his head, he turns around to walk off again.

“Sawyer! Wait! Please.” He ignores me and continues to walk. So, I follow. “Please, Sawyer, stop. I want to talk to you.”

“Hmm, that’s strange. You want to have sex with me when you’re drunk, but you have my number, yet I haven’t heard from you at all. You could have called me at any time, butnowyou want to talk to me.” He scoffs back at me as he continues to walk, me following by his side. Okay, I probably deserved that.

“SAWYER! Stop acting like a petulant child!” I bark out at him. He stops and spins to face me. Amusement is on his face this time.

“I’m sorry that I acted so terribly. I had an incredibly bad night. I was drunk, I was assaulted, then you rejected me, and I’ve been too embarrassed to call you.” I groan and tuck my hair behind my ears. “But – there is also no excuse for the way you have treated me,Mr. Green. I have been getting the worst mixed signals from you. You’re playing with me, and I refuse to be a pawn in your game of chess anymore.” His face softens as I continue spouting my tirade. “You are hot one second, then cold the next. I wanted nothing to do with you. You stalkedme, you followed me, you showed up at the park, the store, and even at my home. You practically forced yourself in. You came to my workplace when I was sitting in there on a day off, you were there when I was at the bar with Alice, then despite all of that, against my better judgement, when I should have called the police, I felt safe when you were there.Youallowed that to happen.” The guilt on his face is unmistakable. “You know what – you’ve got what you wanted because you won’t hear from me again. I am so tired of this shit. There is nothing redeeming about you or the way you treat me, and I deserve better than whatever this mind fucking is, you sadistic prick.” I turn on my heels to leave.

I make it about ten steps before his hand wraps around the top of my arm as Sawyer spins me to face him. He looks in my eyes, and the desire in his matches my own. With one swift movement, he spins his hat to face backward, then bends forward to kiss me. It doesn’t feel like just any kiss. This is a time-stopping kiss. A kiss that doesn’t happen in real life. I try to speak, but he catches my words in his mouth, swallowing them down with each tender flick of his tongue. Running his hand along my shoulder and up my neck, he cups the back of my head. He continues kissing me with such tenderness that it felt just like he’s just stolen the air from my lungs, and I can no longer breathe. My legs wobble from pure adrenaline.

I squeeze my thighs together to dull the ache between them. I reach up to place my hands on his chest to steady myself as my breath hitches. His free hand wraps around the small of my back, pulling me further into him.

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