Page 29 of Forever After Never

“I am so wet. I didn’t realize how much pleasure I would get from that. I should have done it sooner.” Autumn releases her grip on me and stands.

“No, you shouldn’t have,” I answer far too quickly, and my jaw clenches. “I don’t know how many times I need to tell you, but you are mine now. I may have been the first man that came in your mouth, but I’ll also be the last.”

“Such a possessive caveman. Do you always act like you are a bear with a sore head?” She bends over, clutching her stomach and laughing.

“You good woman, stay home, make food, be fuck toy. Me man, bash skulls, throw bricks, gather firewood.” She bashes her chest with her fists, and her tits jiggle. She’s now laughing uncontrollably.

“Get dressed, woman! You’re getting on my last nerve! I'm taking you out for lunch.” I chuckle and roll my eyes at her. Before I realize what I am doing, the words “I want to take you to meet my family. They're getting together in a couple of weeks. Will you be free?” leave my mouth.

“Isn’t it a bit too soon to meet your parents?” She looks at me quizzically. “This is just a bit of fun, Sawyer.” Her words slice through me, even though I know that getting involved with her on a deeper level is the worst idea ever.

“I don't know. Is it?" I ask. "Now get dressed, otherwise we will never leave this bedroom." I lower my head and take one of hernipples into my mouth, giving it a hard suck before releasing it again. "I’m going to make coffee.”

"Tease!" she hollers as I leave the bedroom.

Chapter 24

Autumn

So, this is apparently a thing now. We have seen each other, had sex, and stayed at each other’s houses most nights for the last few weeks. He’s mostly been at my place because I don’t want to leave Jed too often. I think he likes the excuse to come over because he is Jed’s new favorite human.

The trouble is, I have absolutely no idea whether this is something permanent or fleeting. I didn’t want anything from Sawyer apart from sex, but the care he has shown me made me realise that maybe I did want more. My heart has just been too closed off to realise it. As much as I think he has been hot and cold with me, I have been the same without realizing it. Is he a friend with benefits? Is this a situationship? A Relationship? I wouldn’t imagine that a friends-with-benefits situation or a casual hook-up would care about who has come in my mouth, but honestly, you never can tell with Sawyer. He is such a hot head. He is everything I should run from, but when his jealousy and possessiveness are because of me, it makes me giddy.

Sawyer’s walking the tightrope between whether he wants more or less from me. His words make me think he wants more; his actions make me think he wants less.

The more time I spend with him, the more time Iwantto spend with him. There is no doubt about it, I am unequivocally falling for him. I didn’t think I would ever see the day or know what that feeling was, but it has started to creep up on me and I am so scared of getting hurt. I really care about him, and it is terrifying.

It hit me hard when he brought me coffee in bed a couple of weeks ago after fucking my brains out. That was the moment I knew I cared. It wasn’t a grand gesture but rather something normal, and I realized I wanted him permanently with me. The nights that we spend apart are torturous. I felt safer with him, cared for, adored, and he knew exactly what he was doing.

Surely you wouldn’t take someone casual out to your family home, in the ass end of buttfuck nowhere, to meet said family. Would you?

“What are we? What is this thing?” I ask as we drive down some country roads. The radio breaking up every couple of minutes has filled Sawyer’s truck with a weird but not uncomfortable silence.

“We are us,” he replies, shrugging his shoulders casually. What a shit answer.

“I’m sorry, Sawyer. That isn’t good enough. If all you want me as is a fuck buddy, I am okay with that, but all this possessive“mine”shit can be confusing for a girl, you know. We’ve been together almost every day for weeks now, and everything you say makes me think you want something more from me. At the same time, your actions make me think you only want somewhere warm to put your dick, and hey, I am cool with either. I just need to know.” I am absolutelynotcool with either, but I don’t want to scare him off when he already has one foot in and one footout of the door. Sawyer has struggled to communicate with me about his wife. I know the basics, but he laughed it off when he was telling me. I can only assume that’s how he responds during uncomfortable conversations.

As though he can read my mind he says, “Let’s get one thing straight right now, Autumn. You areneverjust somewhere warm I can put my dick in.” Sawyer looks affronted, and grabs hold of the steering wheel so tight I think he might rip it clean off.

“I wish I had a better answer to give you. I am so fucked up from my marriage that I’m scared to let anyone in. It isn’t every day that you find your wife fucking your best friend. They were both everything to me, but apparently, I was nothing to them.”

“But I’m not her,” I say, infuriated that this barrier exists.

Ignoring what I say, Sawyer continues his rant, like if he stops now, he’ll never start again.

“When I walked into the kitchen that day, they didn’t hear me, but I heard them. Nicole – that’s her name - was talking about me as my best friend’s cock was buried inside her. She uttered, and I quote, “I fucking love having you in me. And when Sawyer is buried in my pussy tonight, I’ll have had you both today. You’re the one I’ll be thinking about when he comes in me. You’re always the one I think about. I never should have married him, I’ll be closing my eyes and wishing it were you. I fucking love you, Rob.” Then I coughed and told them not to stop on my account. I threw her out of the house that night and haven’t seen her since.”

His face is tortured as he is reliving this painful memory.

“It was only through Nicole’s friends that I discovered it had been going on for four years. They all came out of the woodwork after they heard about the split. Clearly, they didn’t care to share at the time but couldn’t wait to burden me with the details assoon as it was out in the open.” He lets out a large sigh and slumps back into the seat of the car.

“I shared my wife for 4-years. For our entire marriage. I felt disgusting. After a few weeks, she tried to contact me because even though she supposedly loved Rob, he clearly didn’t love her. It was painfully obvious that Nicole was someone for Rob to shoot cum into. I still get the occasional message from her. Even now, she tries to dig her talons in. No matter how often I change my number, she still finds a way to get it. I despise everything about her but cannot get over what they did to me. My best friend and my wife. I lost them both overnight, and it was devastating. I never wanted to care about you, Autumn. I didn’t want to let you in, but you’re in. You’re so fucking in, and I don’t know what to do about it, but I cannot and will not give you any more right now.”

I am absolutely gobsmacked and horrified.

“Sawyer, I don’t know what to say.” I wipe the tears away from my eyes that have been threatening to bubble over for weeks now. “Saying ‘I’m sorry that happened to you’ doesn’t seem to cut it. I may not know Nicole, but I definitely hate her. What a detestable woman. I will never know, and I can’t begin to imagine how that must have made you feel.” I start to get more tearful through sheer frustration. I was not expecting him to be so brutally honest. Fully understanding now why he’s been giving me whiplash for so long, and although I do understand, I am also furious. “Just so we’re clear, I didn’t want to care about you either.”

“Autumn, why are you crying? Don’t be upset,” he asks while his hand runs up and down my thigh. I quickly pull away from his touch.

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