Page 31 of Forever After Never

If only that were true.

Chapter 25

Sawyer

This woman is going to be the death of me. I have been an asshole. I get that. But she cut me off every time I tried to speak in the car, so I shouted, and I hate that I did.

I desperately wanted to explain, but communication is not my strong point unless I am telling someone what to do in the bedroom.

All this time, I was worried about her fucking me up, but here I am, dangling a carrot in front of her face, and had no plans to change that. I have become everything that I hate.

What she said to me in the car about letting Nicole win hit a nerve. Is she right? Probably. Did I want to hear it? Absolutely not.

I did not plan to meet this absolute goddess and was not ready for everything that came with it.

I almost ran her over with my car the first time we met, which was possibly an omen—one I chose to ignore.

I am addicted to her, but I do not want to allow myself to tip over the edge between lust and love. Am I being selfish? Yes, I absolutely am. Selfish for not getting closer to her, and selfish for not letting her go.

The thought of another man coming anywhere near Autumn makes my blood boil. I would break the fingers of anyone who dared to even breathe in her direction. She’s mine, but I reconcile the feelings that I can’t let myself get closer to her, but I won’t let anyone else have her either.

Everything about her was made for me. Her body and her mind are captivating.

I know every freckle, dimple, and scar on her body. I know that her eyes are dark, almost black, when she is angry, and chocolate brown, when she is happy. I know that she has a dimple on one side when she smiles, and she pokes her tongue out when she is concentrating. I know that she talks in her sleep. She will swear that she doesn’t, but I have recordings on my phone to prove otherwise. She swears they are not her and that I must be making it up.

I know how her pussy tastes, a taste that I can’t get enough of, and how her toes curl when I make her come. I know the exact shade of pink that her puffy lips turn after she has had them wrapped around my cock. I know the depths of her soul.

She deserves more, and I want to give her that. I constantly contradict myself because I know I can’t be who she wants me to be. I’m man enough to acknowledge that I am afraid if someone else breaks my heart the way that Nicole did, I will not be able to fix myself. I simply won’t be able to come back from that dark place, and I will remain in purgatory until the day I die.

My whole family, including Callie, is fawning over Autumn. I don’t blame them because she’s fucking perfect.

“Oh, Autumn! It is so good to finally meet you. We have heard so much about you. I think we girls should go out tomorrow andlet the boys catch up. It would be so good to find out more about you.” I hear Lottie fawning over Autumn. “Hey, Claudia. What do you think? Shall we leave the boys to grunt at each other and watch Poppy, and we can take Autumn out for a boozy brunch?” Lottie chimes across the patio to my mom as I roll my eyes at my sister-in-law.

I will give Autumn credit where it is due. She’s very good at hiding her emotions because I think she would rather grab her shit and leave than spend another second next to me.

I am sure that if it didn’t seem rude, this stubborn woman would have walked back to her house rather than spend another moment with my family.

I reach out to touch her thigh, and she moves away from me without giving me a second look. She’s hurt and angry. But she replies to Lottie enthusiastically.

“Lottie, that sounds perfect. I would absolutely love that. Getting away from Sawyer sounds great, if I’m honest.” She chuckles, but her words are loaded. Autumn scowls at me and follows my mom into the house as I hear my mom to her, “Let me show you where you’re going to stay, honey. We have the guest room set up for you both.”

I don’t know why I brought Autumn to meet my family.

Secretly, I hoped that introducing her to my parents would push me to take a leap of faith with her. To commit to more. To give myself to her. But it seems that all it has done is hurt her. I am quietly relieved that we are at my parent’s house. We are sharing a bed, and she won’t be able to get away from me that easily. Since the first time we fucked, we’ve been inseparable. I have seen her angry, but not like this. The cold shoulder is new to me, and I don’t like the sudden frost. In fact, I cannot bear it.

Who the hell am I kidding? I fell in love with Autumn the second I saw her. She hit me with the force of a hurricane and shattered my defences.

I plan to remind her that she’s as hooked on me as I am on her, and I plan to show Autumn that I love her, even if I can’t say it.

There have been multiple women that I slept with since my wife, but not even one that I remember. I don’t remember their names or faces. How they felt or how they tasted. I am a man with needs, but not one of them fulfilled me.

It turns out I didn’t want every woman in the world. All I wanted was the right one.

Autumn was the right one. I am an addict, and she is the drug.

I am completely gone for this girl.

Chapter 26

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