Page 36 of Forever After Never

Autumn: worked.

Autumn: WORLD. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Me: Are you drunk?

Autumn: Me? Moi? No.

Sighing, I put my phone into my pocket, trying to ignore the feeling of dread swirling around in the pit of my stomach.

Chapter 29

Autumn

“Out of curiosity, how much should I worry about Nicole?” I ask, trying not to sound too phased. Claudia is moving the empty cocktail glasses to the other side of the table and stops what she is doing to look at me.

“I only ask because Sawyer just messaged me to say she is going to the house today. As far as I was aware, they had not seen each other since the divorce, so it seems a bit odd that the first time I come to visit, Nicole is coming to see Sawyer.” I feel a heat wave of emotions roll over my body, the primary one being jealousy, and I don’t mean jealousy of her specifically. I mean jealousy over her being anywhere near my man. Yes,myman. Well, I thought he was anyway. Everything I have heard about Nicole – granted, that has only been minimal – assures me that I have nothing to be jealous of, but I cannot help the feeling that creeps into my chest. This witch has been the sole reason that Sawyer has been dancing around his feelings for me, andI cannot stand her for it. Why now? Why can’t she leave him alone?

“Please tell me this is some sort of joke?” Lottie replies, sucking the rest of her Long Island Iced Tea through her straw. “It didn’t take her long to crawl out from whatever rock she has been hiding under.”

“I wish it were a joke,” I respond. “And I don’t know how to feel about it. Honestly, Claudia, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I heard you both talking this morning. I am so sorry that I was listening, but I care so very deeply for your son that I’d do anything to make him happy. We are not in the best place. In fact, I think we’re doomed before we’ve even begun. On the way here yesterday, he told me that he cannot and will not give me more of himself. After listening to you talking this morning, I feel heartbroken that he doesn’t want me and doesn’t trust me. I feel sick at the thought of Nicole being at the house and me not being there. Why do I feel so threatened? I didn’t evenwanta relationship until Sawyer showed up.” Claudia reaches across the table and takes hold of my hand.

“Autumn, honey, I don’t know you very well, but I do know my son. I can promise you he both wants and trusts you, but he is a damaged man, Autumn. What Nicole did to him was unforgivable. The Sawyer you know now is not the Sawyer he used to be. All he ever wanted was a wife and a family to call his own, but he’s spent far too long in his personal prison to know something good and real-” she pauses “-even when it tries to hit him in the face.” She smirks at me.Well, shit, I’m guessing he told his mum how we met.

“I swore to myself that we would go our separate ways when this weekend was over. He’s hurting me so much that I cannot take it anymore.” The cocktail consumption allows me to be a lot more honest with Sawyer’s mum than I ever would have been ordinarily. “Trust me to be single my entire life, then pick theman that needs to be fixed.” I slurp through the straw, finishing the rest of my cocktail. "Ughhhhh, and just seeing him with Poppy hurts my heart. He is amazing with that little girl. I can see how much love he is capable of every time he interacts with her." I say.

“I think we need more cocktails, girls. I am going to the bar!” Lottie pulls herself out of the chair with a tray full of empty glasses.

“I don’t know how much Sawyer has told you all about me, but..” The truth juice almost has me spilling my life story to Claudia, but she interrupts me before I speak.

“Oh, honey. He’s told us everything about you. Everything. What life was like for you growing up, about your parents, about how you met-” she pauses and gives my hand a small squeeze. “Sawyer is a good man, but he will not wear his heart on his sleeve. As hard as it is for me to stay silent, I will not speak ill of Nicole. I would not speak ill of any woman; I will save that for my own thoughts. But she broke him into a million pieces, and as much as he pretends that he put himself back together again, he never did. Part of me thought he never would until he met you. Autumn, the way that he looks at you, cares for you, and talks about you tells me all I need to know. You are a beautiful woman with a kind soul, and if anyone can be his missing puzzle piece, it is you. I really hope that he sees that, too, before it is too late. A girl like you won’t wait forever. You have not had an easy life, and lord only knows, you don’t need someone to make it harder.

“Soooo, you don’t hate me for trying to hit your son across the face?” I hide behind my hand and peek through my fingers at Claudia.

“It sounds like he probably deserved it if you ask me!” She waggles her eyebrow at me.

Lottie comes back to the table with a fresh set of cocktails. I have no idea what this is, but it tastes pink. Think cotton candy, unicorns, and cake, and you’ll be right on the money.

"Do you want babies, Autumn?" Claudia asks. I wasn't really expecting this question, and I didn't really want to answer because every time you tell someone you don't want kids, they usually look at you like you have the plague.

"No," I say in an almost whisper and shake my head. I am ready for the judgemental replies when all Claudia says is:

"That's cool. Sawyer doesn't want them either." I must admit this is never a conversation that Sawyer and I had together, but I am overwhelmed that it was just accepted rather than probed into more.

"Don't get me wrong. I love kids, but I never saw myself having any of my own."

“Hey, girl, I have a kid, and I think kids are dicks! You don't have to like them to have them, and you don't have to have them just because you like them!" Lottie chimes in. "Anyway… back to the real subject at hand." She hiccups. "If you ask me, Sawyer is a fool. How anyone could say no to you when you have a rack like that? I’ll never know!” I burst into a fit of laughter.

“Thanks, Lottie. But I am pretty sure you’ve had one too many drinks, girl!”

Chapter 30

Sawyer

Three p.m. on the dot, and I hear the door knock. I cannot believe she really had the audacity to come.

I left my dad and brothers on the patio and walked through the house, feeling an entire range of emotions. More emotions than I have let myself feel for a long time. Swinging the door open, I come face to face with my ex-wife.

The woman that used to be my wife was so beautiful to me. There is nothing I wouldn’t have done for her. To me, she was everything, and man, oh man, were they some rose-tinted glasses because in the cold light of day, nothing is redeeming about her. At all.

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