Page 8 of Forever After Never

“For once, I can’t argue with you. It happens to be my favorite.” I admit, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“Not arguing with me? We’re making progress. So, I make this date number two.” He says, holding up two of his large fingers in front of me.

“I offered to call you an ambulance this morning, but you told me you didn’t need one. I am beginning to think I should havecalled 9-1-1. Are you sure that you’re well?” I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face, because he may be absolutely nuts, but this attention is nice. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t.

“Date number two.” He mouths at me, winks and walks away.

I press my fingertips to my lips, trying to stop the smile spreading as warmth travels up from my stomach to my cheeks.

Me: I saw him at the grocery store too.

Alice: He is definitely following you.

Me: Nah, it’s just coincidence.

Me: I think.

Alice: You’ve got yourself a hot stalker.

Me: Shhhh.

Me: He is hot though, isn’t he? *melting emoji*

Alice: You need to get laid.

Chapter 9

Autumn

It has been a couple of weeks since I had the accident and first met Sawyer. I have seen him in the park and at the grocery store, but I am pained to admit that I look for him everywhere.

I expect to see him when I go to the store, the dog park, or even work. I am almost disappointed when I don’t see him now.

Everything has healed, and I am back to my best, but it has inadvertently brought up some memories of losing my parents that I wish I hadn’t remembered.

Alice has stayed with me every night. I rehashed memories with her, even the more painful ones. Alice is fully aware of the relationship I had with my parents. Although there is nothing she can do to take the sting away, she stays and hugs me as I sob about the life and love I pined for, for the child version of me. Alice is as close to her parents as someone could be, so I know that she doesn’t really understand.

Her parents are warm, wonderful, caring, and kind. They are also incredibly funny people. Alice never had to experience notbeing loved, so I know she will never totally realize how I feel, but she is always here and supporting me in any way she can. All I need in those moments is my best friend. She is my therapist and my chosen family. It’s in these moments that it feels nice to have the company at home.

I’d like to say that thoughts of Sawyer left me a few days after the accident, but truly I haven’t stopped thinking about him as I’ve seen him since, and I’ve even had two VERY vivid sex dreams about him. I put that temporary insanity down to almost being hit by a car. I never mentioned the sex dreams to Alice because she’d have probably tried to have me committed.

We are sitting inGround and Down,and I don’t know what comes over me, but I blurt it out.

“I had a dream that I fucked Sawyer. Twice.” Alice surveys me for the longest time before bursting into laughter that could be heard from the depths of the ocean.

“Well, a bit of hate fucking never did any harm!” She whistles.

I am stunned by her reaction. I expected to be chastised, not encouraged. Looking at each other in silence, we both burst into laughter so loud that people turn to look at us. I can’t even make myself care that we are causing a spectacle.

“Something funny, girls?” James, one of theGround and Downregulars, calls over.

“Oh, you don’t want to know, James. Trust me!” Alice snorts as we both continue laughing.

James has pined for Alice since we moved here, but she has never dated him. She has no interest in James romantically, and she wouldn’t let him think that she did. Ali likes men, but she’s not a heartless bitch. James is the typical floppy-haired, golden retriever good guy, and I don’t think Alice is ready for that. She would eat the poor man alive. Alice may date a lot, but I think she wants a boyfriend less than I do.

“Do you want to head home?” Alice chokes out as her laughter dies out.

“I do – but I want to be alone tonight if that’s okay. I need my own space. I am peopled out.”

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