Page 21 of Forever After All

I put my phone back into my pocket and my body relaxes as if I was holding tension that I hadn't realised was there. My hands flop at my sides in my seat and they bump into Autumn and Carter. Autumn is too loved up and excited by the game to even realise, but Carter takes one look at my face, grabs my icy coldhand in his warm one and gives it a little squeeze.

"Alice, you good?" he asks as his fingers flex into my hand.

I nod but say nothing. Carter doesn't release his grip on my hand. Instead, he pulls it further into his side and tucks it under his arm. Autumn glances over, and I pull my hand away, tucking it back under my butt in the seat.

"Alice. You good?" he asks again with a concerned look on his face.

I shake my head this time but the look I give him pleads with him not to push this further.

"It's okay. I've got you," he whispers in my ear low enough for only me to hear.

I feel safe.

The final whistle rings out. The Saltern Glass win the game 4–2.

We are dropped off at a local bar after the game finishes.

I was really hoping to speak to Autumn tonight about the wedding night, but there just hasn’t been a good time. Then my mum decided to drop an atomic bomb of information on me about my ex.

Truly, I do not know how to feel about it. Am I sad that he'sdead? Absolutely not. I should be dancing on his grave. But at this very second, I just feel numb to it. He told me he'd find me one day, and now he can't. He'll never be able to find me again.

The drinks start to flow. Shots, chasers, beers. You name it and it comes to the table.

"Saskia is okay. Thank fuck. I texted one of the guys and he just told me that she's fine. I didn't want to message her, but I'm so glad she's okay."

A silent relief washes over the four of us as Carter relays the news.

"Honestly, I found it thrilling. Not the poor girl getting a stick to the head mind you, but the rest of it was so exciting. They're all so sexy, aren't they? It's just so manly," I say out loud to nobody in particular, and Autumn replies.

"It really is sexy. I'd love to see Sawyer in a hockey kit." She admires her husband and pretends to wipe away drool from her mouth.

"Stop. He'd fall over trying to tie his laces." Carter laughs and shoves his brother a little harder than intended, which makes him budge across the seat.

"Save it for the bedroom, babe? No risk of injury then." Autumn fans her face and Carter scrunches up his nose.

"Stop talking about my brother like that. Young ears are listening." Carter plugs his ears with his fingers.

"Are they?" Autumn asks.

"Yes. Mine."

All four of us laugh at the same time, and I look up to see a group of men walking through the bar.

My heart practically stops in my chest, and I struggle to inhale as one of the men is the absolute spitting image of Danny. So much so that it makes me scared for my twenty-year-old self. Like some sort of twisted kismet, the universe wants me to think about him.

Taken aback by my dead ex-boyfriend's doppelganger, I feel my throat constrict and the ability to breathe dwindles further.

I have to get outside; I need fresh air.

Pushing away from the table, I stand with shaky legs.

"Ali, are you okay?" Autumn looks at me confused and with worry, immediately moving to stand.

"Sorry, guys. I really don't feel well. I'm going to go home. I think I've had too much to drink," I lie.

"Well, I'm coming too. We can leave the boys." Autumn pushes away from the table and stands up. My god, I love that this woman abandons everything for me right when I need it, but I am not ready to tell Autumn any of this, and I know if she comes with me, I'll have a breakdown. I can't handle seeing the look on her face when I finally tell her.

"Please, stay. Don't leave on my account. Honestly. I mightbe sick. Nobody wants to see that." I turn around trying to get away from the table, but my foot gets stuck under the chair leg. I pull it free and hurriedly try to leave my group of friends before my body betrays me and collapses into a heap.

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