Page 22 of Forever After All

"I'm clearly not going to leave you to go home by yourself," she replies, grabbing her jacket from the back of her chair. "Alice. What the fuck? Wait."

"I'll take her home, you guys stay, it's fine." Carter's voice rushes in and out as I hear my own heartbeat boom in my ears.

I need to get outside. Right now. Not waiting to hear another word, I rush towards the doors as fast as I can. As soon as my feet hit the sidewalk, Carter lightly wraps his hand around my wrist. I turn to face him, worry evident on his face.

"Please help me. I can't breathe," I sob."Get me out of here." My feet buckle and I collapse into his arms, crying uncontrollably.

It turns out, I am not okay with this at all and I'm not numb to it either.

Chapter 11

Alice

Carter pulls me up by the waist, forcing me to stand back up on my own two feet. As he supports my weight, he pulls me closer to his body.

"I need you to listen to me, okay?" His voice muffled against the side of my head. I feel his warmth breath on my cheek. "Five things you can smell. Just think about five things you can smell."

His cologne, the night time air, my shampoo, pretzels, the leather of his jacket.I nod my head against his shoulder, trying to take in a breath.

After a few seconds, he says, "Now, I need you to touch stuff. Think about five things you can feel."

I instantly reach up and hold his face. I feel him smile under my touch, but I can only make out his blurred face through the tears.

Carter's face.I reach down and touch my leg.My pants.I scuff my foot against the ground.The asphalt.I grasp his jacketwith both hands and clasp my finger around the open zipper.The coolness of the metal.Reaching around his waist I snake my hands inside his jacket and pull him in for a hug.His warmth.

"There we go, see. You're going to be just fine," He encourages me, and I take in a giant raspy breath, reminding my body how to perform its most basic function again. Carter wipes the tears from my cheeks and holds my face in his hands. "Okay, last one. You're going to have to work with me now but tell me five things you can see."

"You, the wall behind you, the sky"—I look around behind me—"groups of people, and, umm…" I’m struggling to pick the fifth thing, but realise that my breathing has steadied and the panic is subsiding. I don't think I've ever practiced grounding techniques before. Hell, I don't know if that's even how you're supposed to do it, but it worked, and I couldn't be more grateful.

"You're okay, Alice. You're okay. Let's get you home."

I don't remember the trip to my apartment, but I do know that Carter didn't leave my side. I fumble around for the key to the door and manage to get us inside the building. Carter marches us to the lift and presses the call button. A few seconds laterthe bell dings and the doors slide open revealing the red carpet and brass fixtures. Ushering me into the small space, he stops and looks inside, hesitating for a moment before joining me in the lift car. As the doors slide shut, Carter grabs my hand and presses the button for my floor. The few second ride up is made in total silence. Once the doors open to my floor—just outside of my apartment door—he hurriedly steps out, dragging me with him, acting as if he lets go of my hand, I wouldn't be able to make it out safely.

"I fucking hate elevators." He shudders, trying hard to hide it from me, so desperate to be away from the little metal box.

"Are you okay?" I ask with real concern.

"I haven't been in an elevator since I was seven. They give me the creeps." He shudders again.

"So that's why you took the stairs, huh?" I try to help him feel a little easier when asking the question.

"Precisely," he confirms.

"Thank you." I squeeze his hand and he drops mine instantly, seemingly remembering that he’s been holding it all this time.

I hand Carter my small bunch of keys and they jingle in his hand as he sorts through them, stopping when I nod as he finds the correct one for my door.

"You're safe now. It's okay." He hesitates as I walk through the apartment door. "Go and get some rest, Alice. We can talkabout this later if you want to. Just let me know that you're okay, yeah?” Carter backs away from the door slightly.

"Honestly, Carter, I think I'd like to talk about it now, if that's okay?" I say, barely over a whisper.

He looks at me with the tenderness you would a baby animal. "It's more than okay." Then he follows me through the door, clicking it shut behind him.

"Can you lock it?" I ask.

"Sure" is his reply as he fixes the lock while I walk to my couch and collapse in a heap on it.

Carter sits next to me and reaches over to grab a blanket, draping it over my legs. He lifts my head, placing it on his thigh, then begins stroking my hair. Not probing for information, he waits until I am ready to speak.

---