Page 32 of Forever After All

"This means nothing. He's just a lay." Their voices may be muffled and quieter, but I heard that as clear as day.

Ouch.Is that really what she thinks or is she just saying that? It dawns on me that we haven’t had any sort of conversation about boundaries, wants, needs, or where we stand.

In hindsight, that would have been a good idea, but when I had Alice's body in my hands last night, and she was moaning for me and crumbling under my touch, funnily enough the last thing on my mind was boundaries.

She's a mess, remember? She told you.

I need to leave. At least until we figure this thing out. This could get messy and it could get messy very fucking fast. Did I take advantage of her last night? A wave of guilt rolls over my stomach.

I put my mug on the counter and head back into Alice's bedroom. Looking around the room, I make sure I've left nothing behind. I kick off her sweats and chuck them at the bottom of the bed then go back into the living room and gather my clothes that are strewn over the floor and pull them on hurriedly. I head towards the apartment door, forgetting that my wallet and keys are on the rug.

Alice walks back into the apartment at that moment.

"The coffee is done. I've poured you a mug. Sorry, I have to go. Something’s come up." I try desperately to keep my tone even, as I grab my stuff from the floor.

This isn't her fault. It's not her fault I touched her and became infatuated. It's not her fault that she struggles, it's not her fault that all I can think about is kissing every inch of her bare skin.

"Oh, okay. Is everything okay? You look upset." Alice reaches out to touch my arm and I move out of the way. I cannot bear to feel her touch, because if I do, then I'll slam her up against this goddamn wall and fuck her until she can't speak. I've had a taste of Alice, in more ways than one, and until we know what this is, I need to go.

"I'm fine, Alice. Have a good day." And I leave the apartment, pulling the door closed behind me. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Chapter 17

Alice

Monday

Carter: Sorry, I had to run out yesterday.

Me: That's okay.

Me: Is everything okay?

Carter: Yeah, it's fine. I just had to figure some stuff out.

Me: Okay, well, have a good day!

Carter: You too, princess.

I see the message come through before he edits it.

Carter: You too, Alice.

We haven't talked at all about Saturday night. Not a mentionsince he left the apartment. I don't necessarily think it needs to be discussed, but it's weird that nothing has been mentioned at all. No real talking, no acknowledgement, no nothing.

Wednesday

Me: Hey, big guy.

Carter: I think you mean 'Hey, adequately sized guy' actually. *winking emoji*

Me: If that's adequate, I'd hate to see what you think is big. *eggplant emoji* *flexed arm emoji*

Carter: One thing about me is that I love to self-deprecate.

Me: Well, why don't you let me appreciate you later?

Carter: Alice, we really need to stop.

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