Page 29 of Love Legacy

Cora laughs. “His name is Anthony Davidson, but most of his teammates call him by his last name. All his friends call him Tony. I think I might be the only one who calls him Anthony besides his family.”

“Aren’t you special… What’s the deal with you two anyway? He’s been chasing after you since we were freshmen! I thought he would’ve given up by now,” Gabby says, tilting her head and sizing Cora up.

She blushes. “Actually, he’s been chasing me for longer than that.”

“What do you mean?”

Cora sighs. “Anthony and I grew up together. Our moms were college roommates. We’ve been friends for years,” she explains.

“Oh, this is juicier than I expected…” Gabby shifts on the couch, getting more comfortable as she leans in eagerly.

“Anthony and I also dated when we were thirteen. Not for very long though, he was a bit of a jerk at the time. So we grew apart. And then when my mom died, we grew apart even further, since my dad and I moved to live near my aunt in Chicago. I probably should’ve known he’d go to Pinebrook too, after all, it’s where our moms met.”

My jaw drops in surprise. “So you’re the one that got away?”

She shrugs. “I guess? I mean, I’ve never thought of it that way because our distancing seemed to be mutual.”

“So how’d you guys end up reconnecting?” Gabby asks, equally as invested in this story as I am.

“Remember that freshmen mixer that the Student Activities center threw? I know you guys missed it because of a rush event running over, but Anthony and I bumped into each other there. He saw me there alone and sat with me. We caught up, talked about how our high school years went, exchanged numbers, and went our separate ways. And then we kept bumping into each other. Econ 101, Student Government, Clash of Clubs, the Business Department’s Annual Golf Tournament, parties here and there, Anthony kept finding his way into my life.”

“So…? Do you have feelings for him?” I ask. “He’s head over heels for you.”

“I don’t know. He’s much more attractive now than he was at thirteen. I don’t know if he’s changed. He probably did, after all, that was almost ten years ago, but Anthony left my life right when I needed him the most, and it still hurts. That’s why I haven’t accepted any of his invitations to go on a date, because I don’t know if I want to, or if I’m ready to, reopen those old wounds.”

“Well, I think you two would be great together. I understand why you’re hesitant, but that man adores you, Cora, and I think you deserve to have someone that puts you first the way he does.Maybe he didn’t then, but he’s definitely trying to make up for it now,” I say, giving her a small smile.

Gabby nods her head, pointing to our full bookshelf. “Sage is right, haven’t almost all your books come from him? He drops one off every time he comes across a new book he thinks you’ll love. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.”

“Or when he brought her coffee and walked her to class every day for a whole semester.”

“How about when he cashed in a favor with his friend that worked at the golf course so that she could get private lessons leading up to the Business Department’s tournament?”

Cora laughs. “Ha, ha, very funny. I get it, he’s a real-life book boyfriend.”

“That man is down bad for you, Cora, all you have to do is say yes,” Gabby says, getting up from the couch, heading to the kitchen.

“I, unlike aggressive, hopeless romantic Gabby, support whatever decision you make. While I think you guys make a good-looking couple, and he seems to make you happy, I can completely understand your hesitations. We both know I have similar hangups.”

Cora leans over to give me a hug, letting out a deep sigh. “Man, do we have a lot of baggage.”

“That we do, Cor, that we do.”

11

Sage

Today’s Thursday, my favorite day of the week.Toasty Thursdays,as me and a few friends, including a couple of the KTA sisters, call it. Raven, Aleka, Stephanie, Davidson’s buddy Chase, Noah, and I all get together on Thursdays while the weather’s still nice and hang out in the clearing in the woods right at the edge of campus. There’s a stream right there, nice and cold, perfect for dipping your feet in on a hot day. We found this spot late in my sophomore year, and we’ve been coming here since. It was our little stoner hideaway on campus.

While weed is legal in New York state, it’s not permitted on campus, same with alcohol, technically. And since all of ourapartments had no smoking policy, we had to find our own spot to light up. The biology program used to come to this spot to do an ecosystem lab in one of their introductory-level classes, which is how I found the place. The professor who taught the lab retired right before my sophomore year, and none of the other professors in the department picked up the experiment. So now the spot remains wholly undisturbed and under the radar, which is why it’s perfect for a smoke session.

We all plan our class schedules so that we have only morning classes or no classes at all on Thursdays. Then, we come out here in the afternoon to smoke, catch up, and relax. Usually, someone brings lunch. Thursdays are always a great day for me because they allow me to turn off my brain completely. ADHD and Anxiety are a beast of a combination. The constant stream of thoughts in my head never stops.

Yes, meds help, but they come with some nasty side effects. I was already on Zoloft for the anxiety, but Adderall made me more anxious and irritable, Vyvanse made me nauseous, and Ritalin gave me migraines. Sure, I could keep trying different combinations of drugs until I found the right fit, but to be honest, I gave up trying. I make do academically, I’ve created my own workarounds and developed coping mechanisms to help me perform. But the thoughts, they just don’t stop. I hyper-fixate on things—hobbies, facts, lyrics of a song I listened to three days ago, etc. Sometimes, the target of my fixation was my anxiety.

The nice thing about weed is that it silences everything: the hyper-fixations, the anxious thoughts, even my own internal monologue. My therapist actually supported my usage. She knows how much I’ve struggled with finding the right mix of medications and the way she saw it, as long as my marijuana usage didn’t get in the way of my day-to-day responsibilities. She didn’t feel like I was becoming dependent on weed; she saw no harm in me using it for this purpose.

She requires I journal my consumption—dates, times, method of consumption, dosage, you name it. But I do it. I’ve been required to do it since I had my medical marijuana card, and even though I’ve been getting it recreationally in recent years, the habit was already there. Plus, it keeps me accountable.

---