Page 68 of Love Legacy

“Daddy, I’m not coming back home. I’m going to finish my degree and take a job in New York with a nonprofit organization. You might think the degree is foolish, but I don’t. I want to get an education and carve a path for myself. I don’t want to marry Josiah, I want to be with Sage. I want to do what makes me happy and be with someone who makes me happy. Why can’t you respect that?”

“Naomi, don’t talk back to your father,” my mother warns me.

“Now you listen here, little girl. You are my daughter, and I am your father, your leader, your protector, your master. You are to heed my wishes, and what I say goes. If you wish to remain living under my roof and continue being part of this family, you will end things with this Sage character and move back home. You will not return to Pinebrook University, and if you wish to go back to school, you will only be able to do so if you return to High Valley University."

If his booming voice wasn’t enough, I can clearly see his anger right now. That one vein that always pops up when he’s animated is practically throbbing; it’s so pronounced on his forehead. The one that’s in his neck looks like it’s about to burstout of his skin too. I’ve only ever seen him this angry once—when the old church was broken into and vandalized when I was a kid. While it ended up working in our favor because the insurance and donations from the community allowed us to create the modern building that turned into the megachurch we have now, I remember how furious my father was when he saw what they had done, especially since he knew who did it.

It's heartbreaking that, in his eyes, my developing into my own person and finding love is equivalent to the destruction of his temple. He’s willing to turn his back on his only child, all because the future I’ve crafted for myself is not the one he had planned for me. I knew going into this conversation that my relationship with my parents would change significantly; however, I really didn’t think that I could lose them altogether.

“Daddy, please. Calm down. Don’t make me choose between you and Momma and my happiness.” I try in vain to plead and reason with him, but I know I’m not going to get through to him.

My father’s a proud and stubborn man; he rarely admits when he’s wrong, and once he’s set his mind on something, there’s no persuading him to do or believe anything else. Ironically enough, pride is one of the seven deadly sins, but of course, the classic catholic hypocrisy led him to believe that me being gay is the worst of all.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Naomi, this is just a silly little crush. You’ll find new friends and find true love when you return home and go back to High Valley,” my mother says, trying in her own convoluted way to be reassuring.

My father crosses his arms across his chest, foot tapping, signifying to me that his mind is made up and that he won’t be going back on this one. “So what is it going to be, Naomi?”

I sigh, getting up from the table.This is it. No turning back.“Well, then I guess I’m no longer part of this family. I’ll get the remainder of my belongings out of the house by tomorrow. WhatSage and I have is real, and I’m thriving at Pinebrook in New York. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and I’m not going to give that up just because it’s not what you would have imagined for me. I hope you guys can come to understand and accept me for who I really am, not who you wish I was. If you ever change your mind, you know how to get in contact with me.”

I turn to head toward the door when my mother grabs my arm. Now it was her turn to convince me to change my mind. “Naomi, wait, think this through,” she says, her eyes pleading.

The way Granny Mae tells it, my father’s the one who radicalized my mother. She was never this devoutly religious until he came along, and it put a major strain on their relationship. I hope that deep down, my mother realizes this and she finally wakes up. She’s already broken the connection she shared with her mother, I hope she doesn’t allow my father to completely sever the connection she has with their only child.

I give her a sad smile. “I already thought this through, Momma. I knew this conversation could go this way, though I had really hoped it wouldn’t. I made up my mind before I came over,” I say, peeling her hand off my arm.

My father stared at me incredulously, I think he secretly hoped I was bluffing and would have just given in to his demands. But I knew if I didn’t get out now, I never would. I’d be stuck in this controlling, hypocritical web that is the Church, and I just want more. More out of my life, out of my career, out of my relationships, and that just won’t happen if I come back to Georgia.

“I’ll come by tomorrow to get the rest of my things while you both are at the Three Kings Day celebration. That way, we don’t have to cross paths again. And then I’ll be out of y’all’s hair for good.” I make my way toward the door and open it, my father’s voice stopping me in the doorframe.

“You’re going to regret this, Naomi,” he calls after me.

I shake my head as I turn to look him in the eye. “No, Daddy, I think you’re going to regret it,” I say before I leave my parent's house, shutting the door behind me. The loud thud of the deadbolt locking the door just emphasizes the end of my relationship with my parents. I can only hope that one day, they will come to their senses.

24

Naomi

True to my word, I went back to my parents’ house the day after our fight. I went during the Three Kings Day event, knowing I’d be able to avoid them. Grannie Mae even came and helped me pack up the remainder of my clothes and childhood items I wanted to keep. She allowed me to store my boxes in one of the guest rooms at her house on the condition I come get them once I get a real apartment in New York (not just campus housing).

She even offered to give my mother a call and “let her have it for turning her back on her baby,” but I told her it wasn’t worth it. Their relationship is strained as is, the last thing she needsis to insert herself into my situation. Knowing Grannie Mae though, she probably will call anyway. She’s stubborn, similar to my father, and I think that’s partially why they never got along, even before she found out he was a preacher.

I stayed at Grannie Mae’s house for a couple more days until I could find an open flight to return back to New York earlier than originally scheduled. I was supposed to stay in Georgia for another two weeks, but with everything that happened, there was no point. I have nothing left for me there besides Grannie Mae. My relationship with my father’s side of the family was strained to begin with, but now it was nonexistent. Any “friends” I had were from Bible Study or High Valley, and I distanced myself from just about all of them when I left for Pinebrook University.

I reached out to Alex, asking if she was around to pick me up from the airport. Campus is just a little too far from the airport for Uber, and I’m not ready to see Sage yet. She’s the only one at Pinebrook who knew I was planning to come out to my family, and I’m not ready to talk about how it went down. I didn’t even tell Grannie Mae specifics. She just saw the look on my face when I returned home and put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Thankfully, my roommate decided to spend the time after Thanksgiving with her boyfriend Matthew, so they were at his apartment in Manhattan. She didn’t ask too many questions about what happened and why I asked her and not Sage, but I gave her some lame excuse I didn’t want to get stuck in Georgia if a big storm hit New York. I don’t know if she bought it or not, but either way, she didn’t pry any further.

Now, I’m standing at baggage claim, grabbing my big suitcase, waiting for the text from Alex to let me know that she was here. My phone beeps, and I check it, expecting it to be Alex. It was Sage—again. I’ve been mostly dodging her texts and calls since I talked to my parents. I feel bad, but I’m still processing, andthat’s all she wants to talk about. I’m sure if I explained to her that, she’d understand, but I’m just taking the coward’s way out and avoiding her for now.

My phone rings again, and this time it is Alex. I head outside, looking for her small sedan, surprised when I see her in the passenger seat of a blacked-out Cadillac XT5. “Hi Naomi, Matt is going to drive us back to campus if that’s okay? He has to drive to a last-minute conference in Albany and Pinebrook is on the way.” I nod, heading toward the trunk to see her boyfriend rounding the vehicle to open the hatchback.

“We haven’t officially met, but I’ve heard a lot about you, Naomi,” he says, reaching for my bag and putting it in his trunk for me next to their bags. “I’m Matthew, but everyone calls me Matt.”

“Nice to officially meet you, Matt. I’ve heard a lot about you too,” I say, shaking his outstretched hand.

“Good things, I hope?”

I laugh. “Definitely good. She can’t stop talking about how great you are.” I get in the car, buckling in behind Alex.

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