Page 17 of Merry Christmas, Cowboy

She wasn’t going to lie, hearing him say it back to her, kind of stung. “That’s… right.”

“So, we’ve made a pact inside a pact, then?”

“Sort of… yes. I guess we have.”

“Wanna pinky swear?” he said with a straight face.

She could never really tell what he was thinking. “Uh, sure.”

He put out his pinky finger and she hooked it with hers. They made a quick downward motion and then both released at the same time.

He met her eyes. “Ready to go back and face the music?”

“You’re funny, Garrett,” she said, shaking her head.

“I can be a lot of fun.”

Maybe she’d like to see that side of him, firsthand. Him, letting loose, having fun.

He took her hand in his and guided her back toward the rest of the group, only releasing her once he spotted Cody.

Chapter Three

Garrett carried Codyinto the house and locked the door directly behind him. The boy had had a big day and was sound asleep in his arms. Between helping with the lights, then playing with Cassie and Muffy at the Coopers and then finally seeing his first tree-lighting ceremony, the kid was tuckered out.

It was times like these that weighed heavily on him. The responsibility of raising another human being was enormous. And a kid like Cody deserved the very best.

He entered Cody’s bedroom and pulled his covers back, then carefully set him upright on the bed. “Hey, Code. Buddy, let me get you into your pajamas. Then I promise you can go back to sleep.”

He opened his eyes slowly and mumbled, “Do I have to brush my teeth?”

“You should,” he said, but didn’t know how far he should push him.

Cody had eaten too many sweets today, a result of his poor parenting skills he was certain. After the tree lighting, they’d walked over to the German market on Main and he and Cody shared a big slice of cherry marzipan stollen. Nicole insisted they try it and it had been good, definitely a unique taste. After that, they’d stopped for coffee and gotten hot cocoa for the kids. Any more of this authentic Christmas experience and he wouldn’t be able to fit through the door.

With his eyes closed, Cody stood up, and Garrett managed to get him undressed and into his pajamas. “Code, just a one-minute brushing. C’mon, I’ll help you.”

Cody was too tired to argue. He nodded and let Garrett usher him into the bathroom where all Cody had to do was open his mouth, and Garrett did the rest. “Got all the germies out of there,” he said, remembering how his sister Carrie would always tell him that.

By the time the brushing was over, Cody was partially awake. He walked him back to bed and Cody slipped into his covers, all nice and warm.

“Good night, Cody.” Garrett kissed him on the forehead.

“Night, Uncle Garrett.”

Garrett stepped out of the room and then as he was walking away, he heard the low whisper of Cody’s voice. He peeked back just in time to hear Cody’s prayer. “Please, make it snow, just once more and not when I’m sleeping. That’s really all I want for Christmas.”

Garrett’s stomach squeezed tightly. He knew why Cody was so adamant about having it snow, and he only feared it would hurt his nephew when it didn’t happen again.

He was still grieving his sister’s death himself, but when Cody was around, he had to be strong. He had to pretend that life was going along smoothly. But when he was alone like this, as silence engulfed the entire house, loneliness and grief got the best of him. He missed Carrie a lot. Twins had a special bond, a way of connecting that other siblings didn’t really have, at least it was the case with them.

Garrett pulled out a photo album from his bedroom closet and sat down in the great room, turning the pages of the book, glancing at photos of Carrie with Cody when he was a baby. The joy on Carrie’s face, the light in her blue eyes was bright, filled with love. And then, there he was, beside her, when Cody had spoken his first words, taken his first steps. Even though he’d lived in various places, he’d always had a home at his sister’s house. There hadn’t been too many milestones he’d missed. But it was always Carrie, who knew what to do. It was always Carrie who made the decisions about Cody. She was a rock. She always had been. And he missed her, more and more each day.

When his phone buzzed, he checked the screen. It was a text from Nicole. And instead of asking himself, now what? He was actually glad to hear from her. She was a light that seemed to shine bright, no matter what. It felt good being around her, and that was a dangerous thing because he had no room in his heart for any more pain. He couldn’t open himself up that way. He couldn’t let anyone in. It was easier that way, to protect himself from ever having to go through that devastating kind of loss ever again.

“I forgot to tell you, I need to stop by tomorrow and check out the wagon. Can I come by in the morning or is later better for you?”

“Morning is fine,”he texted back.

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