Page 40 of The Truth of Loving You

“I’m sorry you went through that.” I glanced at him, but his eyes were closed, so I kept drawing.

“I hate forgetting because it makes me feel like I’m forgetting about what happened.” Shane’s voice shook.

“We have that in common.”

No one understood that feeling more than me. It was the bane of healing: how to honor your memories without being haunted by them. Forgetting wasn’t an option. No matter how much I wanted to know about Shane’s past, I wouldn’t ask. We’d been here for a couple hours, basking in a comfortable silence, but he needed to go home to sleep. For some reason, I didn’t like that idea.

Resigned, I moved my body to show him the design on his leg. It was a version of my thigh protection tattoo modified to Shane’s body and scars.

Shane inhaled a gasp and reached out to trace the lines but stopped himself. His wide eyes met mine. “You turned a horrific reminder of something terrible into beautiful art.” His voice cracked. “Thank you.”

His admiration felt undeserved, so I ruined the moment. “Better than dick art?”

Shane groaned but his eyes danced. “Not everyone can have a dick worthy of a sculpture.” He grabbed me and showed me how much he appreciated my art and my cock.

Chapter twenty

Cole

“Doyouwanttotalk about him?” Lisa asked.

I shook my head, hesitant to talk about Shane with Pax’s mom.

Lisa would have opinions, and hearing them might be a relief or a curse. She’d shown up at the shop after a late dinner with friends—following Shane’s confession about his scar while we were still cum drunk and wrung out. She’d seen the lights on and had wanted to say hi.

I’d let my guard down, and it was obvious we’d been together. I’d expected her to demand an explanation or pry; instead, she’d waited a couple of days and asked me to have lunch with her. We decided on takeout in the loft. I didn’t want to be in public if she was upset.

Lisa picked up our containers to throw them in the trash.

“I’ll get those.” I didn’t want her picking up after me.

“I like him, just so you know,” she said casually, her back to me.

The silence stretched down from the exposed beams and pressed down on me with all its weight. Lisa kept her back to me as she washed her hands.

I replied, “We aren’t together.”

Still facing away from me, her chin dropped to her chest, and she heaved a sigh. “Well, I think he’s good for you in case you want my opinion or things progress.” Turning, Lisa sat next to me and patted my arm, but I couldn’t look at her.

“It’s a temporary thing. I’m helping him out because he just realized he’s bi.” My chest tightened as if it was wrong to dismiss our non-relationship relationship.

“You do seem to like to take care of him, and you’re calmer. In control.”

I snorted and looked her in the eye. “I’m not talking aboutthatwith you.”

Lisa’s jaw dropped, and her eyes widened as she turned red. “I...oh lordy. What I meant is your demeanor in general.” I raised an eyebrow, and she continued. “He was nervous, and when he found out I was Pax’s mom, I thought the poor man might vibrate out of his skin. When you held him close, the calming effect was instant. And you have a permanent scowl, but when he touched you, it was like Botox. Not a frown line is sight.” She took my hands as I huffed. “Sweetheart, you’ve been fighting for control for as long as I can remember. You don’t have to do that with him, and it’s a relief.”

“I haven’t been—“

“You forget that even though I was a shit mom to Pax, I was still there. You idolized your father and wanted to do anything and everything to make him proud. When you figured out that he’d never acknowledge your accomplishments and nothing you did was ever enough, you fought. Everything Donald wanted for you, you rebelled against.

“I know that was hard on your relationship with Pax. He didn’t understand your need to be in control and have control. Your dynamic with Shane is very different. You calm him, and he relaxes you. If I were you, I wouldn’t give up on that relationship.”

“I can’t do that to Pax. I loved him.”

“Oh, Cole.” Lisa’s eyes filled with tears. “I know. He knew that. But he’s not coming back. You can’t hurt him; you can only hurt yourself.”

I nodded, not trusting my voice. My feelings for Pax weren’t going away. Besides, Shane needed a man who fit into the corporate world and understood what he did for a living. Shane needed a man on his level, not someone on the sidelines like me. Someone who fit into his life, not a dirty hookup to satisfy a need. And that’s what we did for each other. Satisfied our temporary needs. Shane wouldn’t need me forever, and then he’d move on.

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