Page 42 of The Truth of Loving You

He cracked his neck, his go-to move to reset his thinking. “I figured you hadn’t eaten yet.” He gestured to the food, “And I know work has had you preoccupied, so I thought you’d like to vent. I’m no genius.” He turned, and his genuine smile flipped my stomach. Stupid hungry stomach. “And I won’t be able to miraculously fix your problems, but railing against the machine,” his eyes crinkled with the laugh he held back, “might help you let go sooner and enjoy tonight more.”

I’d canceled on him last night, so it had been three days since I’d broken the rules and showed up at his shop. Three days seemed to be our limit of depriving ourselves of each other. Sara was sick of my complaining about work, so I had nothing to lose.

I talked while we ate at the kitchen island, giving him the overview of the problems and incompetence at work, and the VPs and directors unwillingness to change. I talked nonstop for twenty minutes while Cole nodded sympathetically.

I held back my weird account balance problem. I’d brought it up at the meeting, but it was dismissed by the CFO, and now every time I worked on it, a member of the C-suite had an issue I needed to fix. It was like the damn thing was red flagged. But that issue involved confidentiality, so I avoided talking about it with Cole.

After I talked myself out, Cole set down his fork. “For a genius, you don’t understand how people work,” he said, squeezing my forearm. I snorted, grateful for his candor. “You’ve backed up all your ideas with data and facts, but people are more complicated. Ask them what they need. Ask them if you can help them solve their problem their way first.”

I removed my arm from his hand and leaned away from him. “But they’re not dealing with the issues.” I sounded like a petulant child, and I hated it.

“Probably,” Cole conceded, “but you have to build goodwill and trust. Take my ink situation. I didn’t call my friends and ask them if they had ink to spare. I asked how business was going, I asked if they were having issues with suppliers, and I asked what they needed and offered them what I had available.Then,I asked them if they had ink. I knew I needed to give them something first, whether it was a friend to listen or actual supplies. And I got what I needed.”

“Maybe you’re the genius,” I grumbled.

Theoretically, I understood reciprocity and dealmaking, but I usually used facts and data instead. In the past, it had saved time, but at Branson Financial, I clearly needed a new approach.

If I hadn’t been distracted by my work woes, I would have caught on faster. Agitated, I stood and paced away from him, annoyed I’d let my guard down. “Now I feel like your offerings of dinner and listening to my problems was a prelude to asking for something from me tonight.” I pointed at another bag on the counter. “What in the name of dirty kink do you want to do to me that you felt the need to ply me with food and cajole me with work conversation?”

“Your smart mouth is one of my favorite things about you.” Cole smiled ear to ear, not the least bit ashamed I’d figured out his plan.

If I were truthful with myself, I’d admit that the fact that he enjoyed my lack of a filter and using, in his terms, fancy words melted my heart in a dangerous way. I needed to stay clear that his heart was locked in the past.

“What did you bring?” I asked directly.

He held up the bag. “Toys.”

Without waiting to find out what type of toys, my knees hit the floor.

After I’d gotten my negative test results, we’d had all kinds of kinky blowjobs with restraints and body bending positions. We’d watched some porn with toys, and I’d been aroused by everything. My dick demanded I participate in every single opportunity Cole provided.

Chapter twenty-two

Cole

Shanewassprawledacrossmy chest catching his breath as I held him tight. High on endorphins and boneless, we both needed the contact after sex. Neither my body nor mind separated from him right away. When his breathing returned to normal, I loosened my grip. I kept one arm around him while the other rested on my abdomen. After a minute, Shane twisted my ring around on my finger. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it, and he never pulled, always twisted.

“Does it bother you?” I asked after clearing my throat. My voice was hoarse, and still, I had no regrets.

“What, the fantastic orgasms you give me bordering on pain? Not at all.” Shane shifted to see me, and I saw his confusion.

“My ring.”

Shane’s gaze darted to our hands, and he dropped mine. “No. Sorry, I didn’t realize I was doing that. Does it botheryou? I won’t do it again.”

“It doesn’t bother me, but most people think I should take it off.”

I rarely put weight on other people’s opinions, but this was a consensus. The fact that people cared about it pissed me off. Lisa’s words rang in my head, and I knew I had to do what was right for me. But it wasn’t as easy as it should be.

Shane’s silence gave me pause, so I craned my neck to see him better. His mind worked on what to say. “Spit it out.”

“I’m trying to think about how to say this without you thinking I’m trying to change your opinion regarding love and loss.”

We watched his fingertips trace over the ring.

His thought process took time, so I stayed silent. Maybe Lisa was right, and I always tried to fight to control my situation, but the anticipation hollowed me out.

“Did you know the Irish have a different view on soulmates? They don’t view soulmates as romantic but as people who have a soul-deep connection. So, any of your friends or family could be considered a soulmate.” Shane’s eyes darted to mine and back to the ring. “Paxton was your soulmate long before you were lovers. You told me you grew up as close as brothers.” Shane sat up on his elbow, so we were facing each other.

---