Page 45 of The Truth of Loving You

“Do you want the tattoo or should we do something else?” Cole asked.

Chapter twenty-four

Shane

Ihadn’twornshortssince middle school, but now looking at the art on my shin, I wanted to wear shorts every single day. He told me it was a slightly different version of the tattoo on his thigh. The 3D shapes mesmerized me, and I was happy to have ink similar to his.

Cole’s chuckle made me cringe.

“If you don’t stop laughing at me, I’m going to insist you drop me at the next train station.” I tried to keep a straight face but failed.

“Is that the passenger equivalent of, ‘I’ll turn this car around,’ Pretty Boy?” Cole’s warm palm landed on my leg, and I immediately wanted it higher.

His laugh was either caused by my opened mouth stare at his sexy stubble or my spreadsheet for the day. I’d calculated optimal times to apply sunscreen and plotted when high tide was coming in. Necessary basic information. And it wasn’t my fault that Cole’s scruff had, once again, caused my brain to short-circuit.

Spending too much time with him might severely affect my number of accessible brain cells.

“If anyone should be mad, that would be me. You said I looked like an old Charlie Hunnam, but the guy is like five years older than me. Insulting.” Cole’s mouth quirked up, and his dancing eyes said he was anything but mad. After glancing at my disgruntled face, Cole continued, “I get it, I’m hot, and it’s hard for you to handle. We all have our kryptonite and yours is my two-day scruff.”

“Whatever,” I mumbled.

“Don’t worry, my kryptonite is your chest with my ink. If there are people on the beach today, I’ll turn into an asshole if anyone looks at you.” Cole tried to mollify me.

“I think you’re misjudging your personality if you think the keyword in that sentence is ‘turn,’” I said, and Cole’s head tipped back in a full belly laugh. “Eyes on the road. An accident will throw off my timeline.” Overplanning was an idiosyncrasy of mine, and I might have gone overboard due to nerves.

Oddly, Cole hadn’t seemed annoyed by it.

At least the drive out to the Island on a weekday was traffic jam free. Negotiating this day trip had been a feat. First, Cole had to convince me that taking a day off would help my state of mind and productivity in the long run. I wasn’t sure if I agreed with his assessment, but he used his body to bribe me.

But when he mentioned that the private beach was in Lisa’s neighborhood, I’d backed out. I truly believed someday Cole would find love again, but he wasn’t ready now, and I refused to live with Paxton’s ghost in my personal life since he dominated my professional life. When Cole suspected the reason for my change of mind, he gave me a crash course in Paxton’s family history.

He gave me more information than I felt I had a right to know. But in Cole’s mind, it wasn’t his past, so it wasn’t off-limits. Lisa had an addiction that had raged for years until Cole and Paxton had moved to London. Fearing she’d never see her son again, Lisa had gotten sober. Paxton had wanted to believe in her sobriety but couldn’t. He’d left her a trust in his will to buy property. Lisa had bought the house and business on Long Island with that money.

So knowing memories with Paxton would not be lurking on the beach or on Long Island, I took a day off work to spend time with Cole. I should have spent more time getting ahead on work than crafting the spreadsheet that Cole had tucked in his pocket with a grin. I couldn’t tell if it was an amused smile or placating. Time would tell. If he was amused, that usually wore thin rather quickly and irritation replaced it.

The spreadsheet I’d handed him was a smaller version of my original. My anxiety had the curse of causing exactly what I tried to avoid. I needed to create control to ensure we’d have a good time, but trying to control the situation with events, places, and times on a spreadsheet sucked the fun out of it.

“You’re thinking really hard over there. What’s going on in that genius mind of yours?” Cole kept his eyes on the road, which I appreciated.

“You don’t want to know.” I forced my lips into a smile.

“I really do. I find your thoughts fascinating.” Cole squeezed my leg, and I bit back swearing at him for teasing me. Cole rarely said something he didn’t mean.

“Remember, you asked for it.” I shifted, leaning against the door to see his face better. “I’m calculating how long I can stand it before I need to refer to my spreadsheet, and how long it will be before you decide this was a terrible idea. Also, I’m estimating how many future sessions we’ll have before our arrangement ends.”

Cole’s fingers had dug into my leg before he caught himself and released his grip. He took a deep breath and asked, “Are you thinking about this ending because you’re done with me after I ghosted you for a week or because you think I want to end it?”

My head knocked the window in my shock. “I’m not the one mourning the loss of my soulmate and committed to a life without love.” Hiding my insecurity by highlighting his pain was a terrible strategy.

Cole grunted and removed his hand from my leg. I’d hurt him on purpose but hated the consequences; for a smart person, I was a complete dumbass.

“Honestly, I was surprised by your spreadsheet, but it was thoughtful. You took the sunrays, tides, food options, and bathroom facilities into consideration because you care about my well-being. It’s kind of fantastic. I doubt there’re many things as interesting as how your mind works. I like it.” Cole’s white knuckles clutched the steering wheel. “Were you hoping it’d get on my nerves?”

Some of the tightness in my chest released. “No, but in my experience, it aggravates people. My thoughts aren’t always rational,” I confessed.

“Preaching to the choir, Pretty boy,” he said, and my chest loosened more.

We spent the rest of our drive talking about how my program was working for his shop and how his advice had helped improve my work situation. I was totally relaxed by the time we pulled up to a split rail fence with an entrance to a sandy beach.

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