Page 48 of The Truth of Loving You

“It’s amazing how someone can be a good person in general but reprehensible to their children. I think our parents have a lot in common.” Shane traced his fingers across my temple and down the side of my face.

“How’d you come to work for that asshole anyway?” I asked.

I disagreed that my father was a good person. Shane was so much more than a lemming in a suit. He had the potential to rule the world instead of making my father richer.

“A headhunter contacted me, and I had an interview. He offered me the chance to be an executive officer within a year. That’s always been my goal, and with Branson Financial, it’s achievable before I turn twenty-five.” He shrugged. “I was asked to speak at the Board of Directors meeting this year, and if it goes well, I’ll be in the C-suite before New Year’s Eve.”

“And that’s the end goal? Why is it appealing?”

I had to remind myself that just because my father never promoted Pax the way he’d promised, it didn’t mean Shane wouldn’t attain his goals. Still, I didn’t want Shane to get burned by my father.

Shane looked at me like I’d asked him why a day at the beach was fun. He studied me as if waiting for me to say I was joking. He came to the realization that I seriously wanted to know.

“Isn’t that the goal of most people? Become a high-powered executive?” Shane said, incredulous.

There was no humor in my laugh. “No. I personally wanted nothing to do with business, which is another reason that I’m dead to my father. I had less than zero interest in it.”

If I read Shane right, he wanted to ask about Paxton. I wouldn’t volunteer that our goals and the future had been a source of conflict between the two of us. I wasn’t going to go down hell’s highway again.

“That’s been my goal for years,” Shane said as though any other path was inferior.

I brushed hair out of his eyes. “As long as it’s what makes you happy, that’s the important thing. You’re capable of doing anything in the world you want.” I had to kiss him, so I didn’t kick my own ass for sounding like a sappy Hallmark drama. Shane was incredibly intelligent and capable, so I had to believe my father would see that.

Losing myself in Shane was so much better than acting like I knew what the fuck I was talking about.

Chapter twenty-six

Shane

Ichangedmyshirtfor the third time, and I’d be late if I couldn’t get myself out the door. Alec had brought up going to Pink Titanium again when I’d stopped by Unframed Art the day after the beach, and Cole asked me to meet them. This was a problem for me.

Our arrangement had been working for us for over a month, but Cole kept bending and breaking the rules. I broke one first, but he planned a trip to the beach, talked about his past, and wanted to see me in public. I wasn’t sure how to act. I had zero knowledge of how friends with benefits behaved in public, and Google did not enlighten me.

I had to decide whether the time I spent with Cole was worth it. When I was with him, my entire body relaxed, and my mind calmed. But when we weren’t together, my head was a mess.

Just like the first night I met him, one comment from him had me questioning all my goals. I wanted to be a successful executive at a Fortune 500 company by the time I was twenty-five. That had been the plan since I’d understood the potential for my obsession with numbers.

Not once had I thought about if it would make me happy.

Happy. I had no context for that word in my life. Not since I’d hit double digits had happy been relevant. It had been all about survival and success. I’d overcome my issues, so I’d progressed to becoming successful. And I was very successful.

But happy...I didn’t know how to determine what happiness felt like. I’d ask Sara.

I checked my phone, and my rideshare app said my car was three minutes away. I was wearing this shirt, and everything would be fine. I only half believed it.

The bar was much louder and far more crowded than when I’d been here with Sara. The stage was set up, and it looked like my worst nightmare—karaoke. Cole was going to be the death of me. One glance from his gorgeous green eyes, and I’d agree to anything.

I found space at the bar, deciding to get a drink before interacting with Cole. I scanned the QR code since I wasn’t a drinker and needed some suggestions. Tonight’s special was the Pink Titanium, well when in Rome.

The bartender took my order with a wink, and for the first time, I felt weird about my sexuality. This thing with Cole had an expiration date, but flirting with other men seemed an impossible endeavor. Nevertheless, I couldn’t imagine not having a strong pair of hands gripping me, manipulating my body, controlling me. The satisfaction from our encounters was substantially greater than anything else I’d ever experienced. Women were soft and cuddly and warm, but I preferred Cole’s hard body and strength. I never had to worry about hurting him or going too far.

I was terrible at flirting with women, and now, I’d have to learn how to flirt with men. That was depressing. The bartender dropped off my drink and a napkin with a phone number on it. I stared at it, afraid of all the possibilities.

“How’s that drink?” the guy next to me asked.

He was about my age, slightly shorter with a muscular build and a buzzcut. He had an easy smile and waited for my answer.

That jolted me out of my head. “Oh, I haven’t tried it yet.”

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