Page 54 of The Truth of Loving You

Cole had his chance, but it was my turn to talk. “You set out specific rules and have systematically broken them. You haven’t acknowledged that we’re in, what most people would consider, a real relationship or asked how I feel about that or the dissolution of some of the rules. I asked for one thing. The only thing I’ve asked that I wasn’t hundred percent sure you wanted, and you checked out. You went so far into your guilt, I saw it. What am I supposed to do with that?” My voice had gone cold in survival mode.

All my reminders that this would end felt futile.

Cole leaned back in shock. I’m sure it never once occurred to him that I agreed to his rules for my own reasons. He focused so much on his guilt that he had blinders on.

“I’m not sure what you want me to say, but I want to be with you. I’m letting go of my past. You make me happy. Happier than I’ve been in years. Not in five years, longer than that. You know what I mean by that.” Cole caught me in his stare, and I understood he didn’t want to say Paxton’s name. “Do I make you happy?”

I answered honestly, “I don’t know what it means to be happy.”

Cole tilted his head to the side but didn’t demand an explanation. “I want to start this night over. I want to tell you that I want to fuck you into the mattress so you can’t walk for a week. I want to see my cum leaking out of your ass. That’s what I want.”

“You can’t be the only one who makes the decisions about our relationship. My opinion matters too,” I challenged, hating that I would give in to him but dying to believe he was sincere.

He vigorously nodded. “I know. I’ve been trying to figure out how to make this work, but I haven’t said what I want and, Shane,” he nervously inhaled, “I want us to be in a real relationship. I’ve been acting like a jealous boyfriend because that’s what I want. The boyfriend part not the jealous part.”

“I’m reserving judgment on that,” I said, watching Cole’s face deflate. My heart wanted to give him everything, even though it would be a terrible mistake. “But I will let you fuck me into the mattress.”

As expected, Cole began undressing.

“I will make you feel so good.” Cole knelt in front of me. “I will force so much pleasure on you that I’ll ruin you for anyone else. If you don’t want that, you need to tell me right fucking now.”

Telling Cole to stop wasn’t an option. He was foolish if he thought he hadn’t ruined me. He’d ruined me the moment he touched me and called me “Pretty Boy.” I thought that level of desire only existed in books and movies. Certainly not in my life.

I needed him to shut my brain off. “Spank me and fuck me.”

Cole asked me every step of the way for either my permission or if I was okay. I’d brought up that he never asked me how I felt, but that wasn’t about sex. That was about life, and I wanted my domineering Cole, not whoever the hell was treating me like breakable glass.

“Ready?” Cole asked after while I was on all fours shaking my naked ass for him.

“If you don’t stop acting like I’m fragile, just fucking leave. I want you, Cole, not this guy tip-toeing around me,” I said through gritted teeth.

Cole didn’t say a word; he smacked my ass so hard I grunted and then he barked at me to count. Message received. And my brain turned back to the low hum of static that I loved. He worked me until I was begging for him.

“You want my cock,” he growled, grabbing the strategically placed lube. I loved it when he turned questions into statements of fact. “You want to feel me inside you—don’t you. Don’t you!”

I answered but wasn’t sure it was coherent. My body was so ready for him.

“Look at you, sucking my finger in. You have such a greedy ass.” He worked a second finger inside me. “I can’t wait to be inside you. Feel you clench on my cock.”

My pleas were nonstop, and I was pushing back trying to fuck his fingers. His fingers disappeared, and I was not ready to be empty.

“I got you.” His hand caressed my spine, and his head rubbed my rim. “I’ll always give you what you need.”

Cole fed me his cock an inch at a time, holding me back from impaling myself on him.

“Damn your ass looks so pretty taking my cock.” Cole bottomed out, and we both sighed in relief. “You feel so fucking good.”

He gave me a minute to adjust and then all talking stopped. He slammed into me and made good on his promise.

There were no words to describe the amazing sensations. My wildest fantasies were nothing compared to the feeling of Cole inside me. Cole pleasured my body as if it was his right. My world narrowed to him and my absolute faith that he would give me every single thing I needed. Cole fucked me until my vision blurred and then slowed down to inch his way in and out of me.

I swore I felt every ridge and bump, and when he hit my prostate, I died the most delicious death. My cock ached for Cole’s attention, and I couldn’t believe I’d held out. I wouldn’t come without his permission. Cole hauled me up with one hand on my throat and the other jacked me off as he emptied himself inside me, and my lust-drunk brain went hazy.

So many endorphins flooded my brain, I didn’t notice Cole’s breathing was getting heavier instead of evening out. I couldn’t see him because he had, in fact, fucked me into the mattress and lay on top of me. I whimpered when he pulled out and listened to him move around, too tired to pick my head up. I still needed another minute.

He brought me water and tucked the blanket around me. “How do you feel?” he rasped as his chest heaved.

“There aren’t enough words to describe it, but right now, I feel empty. Is it crazy that I lived my entire life without you inside me, but now I feel empty?”

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