Page 64 of The Truth of Loving You

“Three days,” he said and continued to eat as if that wasn’t a bombshell.

“Cole,” my voice rose, “what are you talking about? This isn’t a joke.”

Cole blinked in confusion and set his plate to the side. “You need someone to make sure you’re okay. You shouldn’t even walk to the bathroom without help. I want to be here for you. I’d close my shop if I had to. I would do anything for you.” His face gave no room for disagreement.

“That’s crazy.” My heart wanted so badly to believe him.

“That’s love.”

“Same thing,” I said, and my stomach dropped through the bed and onto the floor with his responding grin.

My lips were defiant and turned up in a smile as well, until my ankle had a shooting pain.

Cole glanced at his phone. “You can’t take meds for another half an hour. So we need to distract you. Do you want to watch TV? Can you make a spreadsheet on your phone? How about making a list of pros and cons about me,” he teased.

“I want to know more about Paxton.” I dared him. He couldn’t tell me he loved me while keeping his old rules in place.

“Okay. Are you done? I’ll move the dishes so you can get comfortable. Do you need another pillow?”

“Are you stalling?” My heart yearned to believe in him, but history made it too hard.

“Nope, but this might take a while.” He fussed over me like my well-being was imperative to him, before lying on his stomach. “I’ve been holding onto things for the wrong reason. You know I took off my wedding ring. I also sold all the shares of Branson Financial that Pax left me.”

“I didn’t know you had any involvement with the company.” I tried to keep the horror out of my voice.

Had I known he had shares would I have risked telling him to dump them?

“I didn’t, but Pax owned shares, and I kept them but realized they were a tie to my father, so I got rid of them,” he said, and I sighed.

“Any other ties to the company or investments in Branson?”

“No. Is that okay?” Cole asked.

Nervous laughter bubbled out of me. “Of course, don’t change the subject. Tell me more about Paxton.” I purposefully changed the subject from Branson Financial.

“You know a lot of the beginning, so I’ll skip to our last couple of years together which weren’t all happy. I told you Paxton bought the Greenwich apartment as a gift. The other surprise was that he wanted kids to go with the apartment. I didn’t. His father was terrible, and mine had disowned me. Between us, we didn’t have a father as a role model. It was more of a master class on what not to do. It was the worst argument we’d had since we were teens, and I’d been a dick to him.

“I’ll tell you the basics unless you want more details. It clouded all our interactions and fights for a couple of years. He really wanted kids immediately, so we wouldn’t be old men when they went to college. I demanded he work less. In hindsight, I hated that he worked for my father. Donald was proud of Pax and would brag to his friends about him. I was Pax’s husband, and he hated it.”

“Do you hate that I work at Branson Financial?”

Cole shook his head. “You had goals and a detailed plan of your life before we met. Your goals aren’t related to me or my father, they’re yours. Pax never wanted a career with Branson Financial, but my father had partially paid for Pax’s college while he trained and groomed Pax for his business. He guilted Pax into working for him. Pax swore it would only be until he’d paid my father back for school. But Donald wouldn’t take his money. Why would he, when he could use Paxton’s ambition and trusting personality to his advantage.” Cole shrugged.

“Anyway, Pax worked insane hours, and he was the one who wanted kids. I didn’t think it was fair to take on the majority of responsibility for something he wanted.”

“That seems fair.”

“Nothing about our situation was fair.” Cole’s eyes focused on our joined hands. “If we’d had better parents, if we’d made different choices, if we’d talked more instead of fighting... In the end, we wanted each other to be happy, but we never worked it out. I never told him I’d changed my mind. I’d gone to an adoption agency to get advice and paperwork. Pax bought me a motorcycle, the opposite of a responsible dad. He wanted to give it to me as a surprise for my birthday, but he got hit by a drunk driver riding it home.” Cole’s eyes shined with unshed tears.

The breath whooshed out of my lungs, and I had a vague recollection of Cole yelling like a wounded bear at Alec. It made sense now, knowing how Pax died.

“I feel like everything you just told me are reasons for us not to be together,” I said.

Chapter thirty-five

Cole

“IdisagreebutIrespect your opinion.” I picked up his hand and kissed it.

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