Page 75 of The Truth of Loving You

He followed, his hot seed filling my ass. He collapsed on top of me, then jolted his torso upward.

“Is your ankle okay?” he asked, and I pushed my chest up to maintain our connection.

“If I still have two, I consider it a win,” I said, shifting so our bodies were skin-to-skin from head to toe. “Don’t pull out. Please.” My voice cracked on the last word, and Cole’s full weight knocked me back down to the mattress, stealing the air from my lungs.

“Promise you’ll tell me if it’s too much.” Cole peppered kisses on my neck and shoulders.

“I think my body will stage a revolt if your magical cock tried to exit me.” The weight of him was a pleasure all its own.

“Magical, huh?” Cole chuckled into my hair. “Unfortunately, biology will not allow me to make this situation permanent.”

“I think I can rewire your code to keep your dick in me.” I allowed this moment to seep into my soul.

“Throw in a spreadsheet and I’m all in.” Cole snaked his arms under my back to hold me closer.

“Perfect.” I sighed.

“I love you.” His voice was fierce as he squeezed me tight, and his dick twitched inside me. And I was desperate enough to believe him.

Sometimes, I wondered if my colleagues were willfully incompetent.

Cole had no idea that Paxton had taken documents against company policy. Paxton must have had the same suspicions as I had, but he’d managed to get physical documentation.

My head throbbed with the scenarios of whistleblowing and keeping Cole away from the blow out. But that was a problem for another day.

I sat in the doctor’s office, waiting to get my cast removed to work the rest of the day from home. It was always going to be a bad day, and there was no sense in making it worse or subjecting my colleagues to my insufferable mood.

Today marked the second worst day of the year for me. I’d already talked to my therapist, and she said to call if my thoughts devolved.

My plan was to get the cast off, force myself to work from home, reread my middle school copy of the dragon book that started the tragedy, and then cap off the night with a sleeping pill to get myself into tomorrow.

I should’ve brought Cole with me to the doctor’s office. I needed his steady calm, and if he knew I was here, then he would’ve insisted. Cole embodied everything a man should be: patient, generous, understanding, hot AF, and a God in bed. And for some reason he loved me.

Cole’s love wrapped me in a blanket of security, and he made me his priority. He would drop everything for me, and I didn’t deserve it. Cole was the sun, and I was the black hole sucking his light from him.

I loved Cole with an intensity that terrified me.

He’d proven over and over his dedication to me. I’d surrendered to the fact that Cole was, in fact, my boyfriend.Boyfriendcouldn’t accurately describe how I felt about him or our relationship. It was panic inducing to love him at this level, while knowing it all might end.

Even though Cole never said it out loud, I knew he wanted more from me. Wanted me to admit I loved him. Wanted me to share my past with him. He wouldn’t wait forever, and I needed to get past my fear and tell him everything.

Soon but not today.

My phone buzzed with a call from my mother as I hobbled into my apartment cast free. My therapist gave me permission to put myself first and not talk to her today. I should have declined the call, but the masochist in me answered.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Happy birthday, honey,” she slurred.

It was too early in the day for this shit. Part of me held on to the hope that this would be the year that I mattered. I couldn’t muster the strength to respond, and she started crying.

“I miss him so much,” she wailed.

“So do I.” I sighed, wishing I’d let her go to voicemail.

I listened to her cry for an eternity.

“Shep, come back. We need you. Come home, Shep.”

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